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Thursday, September 12, 2019

New Porsche

by Dianne

A fifteen-year-old came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that car?”
 
He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”
 
“With what money!?” demanded his parents. “We know what a Porsche costs.”
 
“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”
 
The parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars!?” they asked.
 
“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. “Don’t know her name — they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”
 
“Oh my goodness!” moaned the mother, “she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”
 
So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she has sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
 
“Well,” she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn’t intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.”

29 comments:

Dianne said...

hi all.........Barb, boy you have been very busy. Glad it wasn’t 100 for the wedding...whew too hot. Alan Humphreys is my nephew. He’s 48 and single. Yes, he’s nice looking ..thanks. I didn’t know that Sharon had a fall. What happened? I’m glad she doesn’t haven’t Parkinson’s. I agree with you..her son should have been there. Sounds like the wedding was nice. That’s a lot of work. How many people were there?

JL, etc miss our bronco parties we all used to have here. We’ve all just gotten too old today host anymore. We are going to my good friend Kathy’s house to watch the game. It will just be us there. Her husband Norm is pretty sick with pulmonary issues and recently has been put into home hospice. I think she’s having us over to have a chance to visit with him. It’s really sad. Boy, your husband was famous. To be all the way in Hawaii and be recognized is something! I really liked Rocketman too but didn't see the other one. No desire to really.

Mary, well the Broncos were horrible the other night. We looked like a preseason game...not good for a new coach! The (gulp) Raiders were really good. We came back some in second half but not enough. Our QB was on the ground more times then he should have been...no coverage Scary getting lost in the dark at night. I’m not much of a night driver anymore.

Ban got a weekend job yesterday so I’ll be losing my movie partner. I guess it depends on her hours. I went back to pain dr for my back and I guess we’re going to try shots in the nerves. We have to do it twice and then if it helps he will cauterize the nerves. Ouch! I’ll be asleep and it’s worth trying instead of back surgery, which I won’t do at this point

Dianne said...

I got very Confused On all my Holiday Inn Express reservations for November and even May to see Louis’s daughters so I called their 800 number to reconfirm all of them. I keep a folder with all of the confirmations but I was feeling overwhelmed. I got a really nice helpful man that helped me and then I made one more reservation. I went over them with Louis and the calendar and realized I’d made one too many so I had to call back and cancel. Was glad I got a different person.

Mary/MI said...

Hi! I am here, brb, going to check area 51........

Mary/MI said...

Cute blog Dianne. He got what he deserved lol!
I would be confused too with all those dates! When I went to Europe with my Niece
Jaimie, I just gave her my cc # and had her do all the research and reservations.
I gave her a certain budget on hotels. Worked out fine. Now if she would have only contributed a bit lol!
Sorry about your back. Sure hope the needle procedure works!

JustLin, Do you remember the title of the J Garland movie? I would love to see it!
I am not afraid of cats, with one exception. We cat-sitted for a friend once at our house. It was a Siamese. Sneaky and scary looking lol! We were so glad when she went home!

SacBarb, FB suggested A Humphrey to me
too, but I didn't know who he was. Did you make the connection? :)

Tues I have a mammogram follow up from my previous biopsy. Wed. I see a new DDS. I really never felt very comfortable with the one I have now since my reg. one retired. Hope this one works out.


Mary/MI said...

I just about had a stroke lol! I was just checking my email tonight. JCPenny sent me what looked like a bill. It said I had a balance of $800! It was about $35 the last time I looked. I try to keep it active. Anywho, When I finally regained my composure, I noticed it was just a sample of the new billing notices! I was about to make some calls lol!
As you were...

Dianne said...

Mary, the name of the movie is Judy. It’s not out yet. Looks really good. A Humphreys is my nephew Alan. He’s not requesting you all as friends it just shows up from time to time on our feed. I would have been upset if I recd that Penney’s thing too. It sounds like you have a fun filled week ahead. I go to dentist in a week and to dr for a flu shot Tuesday.

Went to a concert with Tammy last night. Todd and his family were there too sitting fairly close to us. It was an outside venue and a beautiful night. We are going inside Monday night to see Carrie Underwood. I’ve never seen her in concert. I’ve been doing so terrible with my ww menu yesterday and today. It was hard at concert last night and today I just blew it and tmrw going to our friends to watch the Bronco game. I think when I go Wednesday I just won’t weigh this week. I’ve been doing pretty good until these couple of days. Oh well
.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Thanks for keeping us in blogs.

That was a very nice photo you posted of you, Tammy, and your SIL. How great it is that the issues between you have been resolved. Otherwise, that would have been a very awkward night with your SIL sitting close to you. You are really quite the concert go-er. I sure wish I could have gone to see Eric Clapton the other night but it wasn't meant to be,.

I don't follow the Raiders but I did happen to have that game on between them and the Broncos. I was happy to see the Raiders win just because of the Antonio Brown debacle. He is supposed to be such a wonderful receiver but he was nothing but a pain in the ass from the moment he became a Raider. He never even played one game for them before being released. I'm glad all that drama didn't get the rest of the team down. Oh, and now that the Patriots have him, he has a rape allegation against him. Maybe he'll cause enough stress on that team to mess them up a bit. One can only hope. LOL

I will probably end up going to a matinee by myself when the Downton Abbey movie come out. My movie friend(s) were not into the show so they have no background on the characters so it wouldn't really be of interest to them. I think we all want to see the new Brad Pitt movie, though.

Just_Lin said...

Mary That must have been a shock to momentarily think you suddenly owed $800 on your JCPenny bill. I also have kept my account open. The only thing I ever owe is $13.95 for an accidental death policy.

I have not accomplished my plans today which was to mop and kitchen and bathroom floors. I have been tired for the lat couple of days and today I feel like I may be coming down with a cold. I have a slight headache, scratchy throat and periodically I either have a sudden coughing fit or a sneezing fit. I suppose it could also be allergies as it has been a little breezy and that's stirring up all sorts of things into the air. I'm pretty much allergic to everything to varying degrees and fall is just as bad as spring. Anyway, I'm just not feeling that chipper. I was planning on making chicken piccata, rice, and broccoli for dinner but that may feel like too much work. I wish you could cook dinner for me. LOL

I had a couple of pure bred Siamese cats when I was a kid and they really are a little different temperamentally than your regular cat.

Just_Lin said...

Barb They say we should have a little bit of rain tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, it won't be much; just enough to make the roads slick from the oil.

So tomorrow night is the start of DWTS. I expect Hanna B will do pretty well. She probably had some tap and ballet classes as a little girl. Sean Spicer, on the other hand, I don't expect much from. You never know, though. My husband, being a large man, always surprised people at how light on his feet he was on the dance floor. Of course, they didn't know that he used to teach ballroom dance for the Arthur Murray Studios when he was a younger man. That was long before I ever knew him.

Did I tell you that my dog accidentally chewed out a piece of one of my new pillow shams? She was on the bed chewing on a fabric squeaky toy of hers and somehow the toy ended up right next to the pillow so while she was gnawing away at it, the corner of the sham got in her mouth, too. She completely chewed out the bottom two inches of zipper. Damn!

Just_Lin said...

I decided to put on my big girl panties and cook my chicken piccata dinner. It was very good and now I have leftovers for tomorrow. Yay!

Dianne said...

Hi....well, broncos lost again in the last one Second. Barb, see your raiders lost this week too. This was one week I wanted then to beat KC. Oh well....more weeks to come. My team doesn’t look too great and we had high hopes with our new coach. We have one player that holds all the time so If we make a touch down ...it’s called back. 4 holding calls on him just today! I’m done venting about football for this week. We went to my good friend Kathy and Norms house so norm and Louis could watch the game and Kathy and I could catch up. He’s terminal with a lung disease and was just put into home hospice so we wanted to spend some time with them. People seem to forget how sad and hard it is on the caretaker.

JL, it was my daughter in law. Yes, she was very friendly again. It’s so nice. I enjoy the concerts. Celine is coming here in March but tickets haven’t gone on sale yet which surprises me. The tickets for Carrie Underwood came out a year ago. It should be a good show. What new movie is Brad Pitt coming out in as I haven’t seen any trailers for it yet. My son will hear on the Sargents tests the end of sept. Out of 200 they are only making ten but if he doesn’t make it he can try again in two years. He has mixed emotions on it with the kids still being in school and sports.

Mary, how are you doing! I know you have a busy dr/dentist week.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, Yes, the Raiders looked bad. I didn’t watch the game, and after I heard the score, I was glad. Today was Chad’s birthday and I took him to Cattleman’s for dinner. Arch, Marie and Josh also came with us. Josh’s wife had a sorority obligation, so she couldn’t join us. Josh is working on his Masters degree and will graduate in May. They haven’t taken a honeymoon because he has been so busy with school, even taking classes in the summer so I am going to use my miles to fly them to Japan after he graduates. Sharon and I saved a ton of miles so we could fly first class to Australia and there were no first class seats available, so I have a ton of miles. I got a letter from American Airlines telling me they are going to expire, so I am glad Josh and Allie can use them. I now have a Southwest credit card that gives me miles and am using it exclusively. I quit using the American Airlines card.

sacBarb said...

Mary, Facebook suggested Alan Humphries to me and I looked on Dianne’s page to see if he was on her friends list and there he was. I wish I had the gardening gene. I would love to have home grown tomatoes and other veggies, but I just don’t have a green thumb.

sacBarb said...

J/L, Sharon and I are going to see the Downton Abbey movie the day it comes out. I am excited about it. All the same cast members are in it. I love Maggie Smith. She delivered the best one liners ever!
I’m not sure I will be able to watch DWTS tomorrow night, because my sister-in-law and her friend will be here. They are returning to Medford from their high school reunion. They want to take Chad and me out to dinner to thank us for having them here.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Oops! I knew it was your DIL. I just used the wrong letters for some weird reason. The Pitt movie is called "Ad Astra".

Just_Lin said...

I forced myself to go clothes shopping today which I hate to do but I'm getting desperate. I tried on six tops and actually bought one. When I went to the check out counter, I saw a young adult man lying on the floor and kind of mumbling and whimpering. He looked disheveled and somewhat dirty but clean shaven. A couple of people were standing pretty close to him. As I left the store, a policeman entered. I couldn't keep myself from saying, "Houston, we have a problem". The cop answered, "Yep". Anyway, by the time I got in my car, I noticed two more cop cars had arrived and as I was leaving the parking lot, a fire engine arrived, sirens and all. So now I feel bad about being so flippant about the situation. I don't know if it was a mental health issue, drugs, or what, but I hope the guy gets through it okay.

That's it for my shopping adventure.

Mary/MI said...

Hi there!
It's been a busy week for me. I had my mamagram follow-up from my biopsy. It took forever! They did the mamo twice then sent me to get an ultrasound. That was done twice!
I guess there is a tiny cyst behind where they took the biopsy. I have to go back in 6 weeks.
I went into Lansing yesterday. I went to visit the union hall to see my friend who is the pres. of our UAW Retirees. We are on strike, so I knew there would be picketers. I talked to her as she was marching in front of the union hall. Someone stuck a picket sign in my hand and asked me to pose for a pic with Marta, (the pres.) to show support. LOL, it was funny to me because it happened so fast I really had no choice. I see She put the pic up on FB. No problem. I am going next week to help at the hall. GM. dropped all health ins because of the strike, so the Union is covering the strikers. It has been getting a bit nasty on the picket lines with drive by people cursing at them. I have a feeling this may be a long strike. One of the biggest issues is the "temp" workers, that have been "temps" for over 5 yrs with half the pay of the seniority people working right next to them. It is a tear system GM asked for when they needed help during the bankruptcy issues years ago. It was supposed to be a temporary deal. They took away retirees Christmas bonus, not giving a raise in over 15 years. We know retirees will see no benefits from the new contract, so we are just supporting the active workers.

I'll be back in a bit. Have to finish cleaning up the kitchen and folding towels. One more load to go. I need to clean out the frig too.......

Mary/MI said...

That is 6 months for my mamo, not 6wks lol!

Mary/MI said...

Pooped out so am hitting the sack. See yah tomorrow!

Mary/MI said...

Another busy day here. I finally got my oil changed. I have been putting it off. I was going to get a pedi. I saw there were only 2 cars parked in front so I thought they weren't too busy. Wrong! all the chairs were full of young gals! Prolly a wedding party. I made an appmt for 6:00 tonight. Jim will be picking up a pizza, so no cooking tonight :)
I have been asked to volunteer at our Union hall next Tues,Wed. & Thurs. Jim doesn't think I should, since the retirees won't be benefiting from the strike. I called him an a-hole and decided to go anyway lol!! He has always had the attitude of " If it doesn't benefit him forget it. I swear!
Well, it's almost time for me to leave. Have a great eek end all!!

sacBarb said...

Hi Mary. It’s nice of you to help out during the strike. It’s sad that big corporations have that attitude that makes them so greedy! Where would they be without the workers? And it’s REALLY crappy for them to drop the strikers’ insurance. Does it affect your retiree insurance? I think this political environment encourages big corporations to take advantage of the ‘little guys.’ They get all the breaks on their taxes, yet they don’t want to give the employees a break! 🤬

sacBarb said...

Not much going on at my house, so I decided to do some more purging of files. This was actually prompted by Dean asking for his birth certificate so he can get his real ID. I decided to go through the file I have for him to see what else is in there. There are report cards, and some other school things and then I found an envelope with letters he wrote to us from New York. My parents took him to visit all the relatives in 1973 when Dean was 11 years old. They stayed the whole summer and Bob, Chad and I went right before school started and Dean came home with us. His first letter to us started with, “I am writing this letter because Grandma is making me.” I remember how much we laughed when we got it. He wrote six letters in all and five of them included “send $$$.” We didn’t! He also wrote thank you notes (under duress) to my parents every time they sent money, which was every holiday. When my Mom passed away I found that she saved every one in a big envelope. I started having him write them as soon as he could write sorta legibly, which was around five years old. They started out very short - two or three words - and they got longer as he got older. I sent them exactly as he wrote them and made no corrections. Some are really funny. Anyway, I am going to give all of them to Dean with the birth certificate.
I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.

Mary/MI said...

SacBarb, no, it doesn't affect us. We insured by a separate co. "Veba". Yup corporate greed!
I got my pedi done by Miss "masochistic" . I tell her over & over to be gentle on my left leg. She gets talking to the other gals and the next thing you know she is 'bout rubbing the skin off of my foot with her file! i have very little callouses, so my heel is very sensitive. I sure wish I could understand and speak whatever country they are from lol!
It has been one lazy boring day.We had high humidity. It is thundering and lightening right now. I had a hell of a time getting Zoie to do her before bedtime business!

Dianne, looks like you are having a good time. Nice pics.

JustLin, Kind of weird about that guy on the floor. You have to be careful now a days. You never know what people are capable of when in a mental or desperate situations. Could have been a drug overdose. Did your state give out free Narcon the other day. Ours did. No,I did not, I would rather they gave me a free bottle of the expensive eye drops I have to take!

I guess I will jump in bed and watch tv with Zoie....

Dianne said...

Hi...we had a fun weekend with our friends at the Sugar Beet festival. It was a nice craft show Saturday afternoon. We went to dinner with them Friday night and then they had us for breakfast sat am. Louis and Kent hung out until we’d call them to help us with a pkg. we came home early Saturday evening. Beautiful weather too

Barb, how nice of you to be giving your miles for a honeymoon. I’ll bet they are really excited. Did you go out to dinner? I had my kids doing thank you notes right away too. They aren’t too great about it now and they don’t have their kids do them either. I’m lucky to get a phone call or text and it does irritate me. How fun to still have all those notes. I’ll bet dean will enjoy reading them all these years later. Too Louis to Red Lobster for his bday dinner last night. I’m not crazy about it but he loves it every year.

JL, that was quite a shopping trip you had the other day. I hope the guy ended up ok. I got some tops in the mail today but two don’t fit very well so back to the store I’ll go this week. I’m so struggling with weight and I think some things are too tight across my gut! I’m not going to that movie as Iv never watched the show. I don’t watch DWTS either. I may watch the Voice this time around. I’ve never watched it before and I do like Blake.

Mary, that is nice for you to help out your friends. I’m glad none of it affects your health insurance. I’ve been on the phone with Apple over four hours today trying to fix messages on my IPAD. Louis was on with them two hours last night. They hang up thinking it’s fixed and then it’s not. I’ve been so frustrated. He called again tonight and a lady FINALLY fixed it in five minutes.

Dianne said...

Hi...well, today was dentist cleaning day. It ended up being a filling a replace a crown....$1100 and four hours later! I had another dr appt at 3 so it was a rush to get there. Not a very fun day. This whole week isn’t too fun. Thursday have to stay home as paving our parking lot and Friday back shots.

Thats about it for my fun day. We get to go on vacation in a month. I’m hoping it won’t snow as we are driving to Galveston for a five day cruise with my Texas family. I do love this time a year...just no snow. It was 84 here today. Beautiful outside.

What’s up with the three of you this week?

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I went to a matinee by myself yesterday to see the Downton Abbey movie and totally enjoyed it. It does stand on its own and you may enjoy it if you like English movies of that period. It did add to it for me that I knew the back stories of all the characters and what troubles they had gone through in the past. Anyway, the movie was showing on the third floor of the theater and the Down escalators on both 3rd and 2nd floors were out of commission as was the elevator. That meant a whole lot of steps to walk down. I counted 85! The muscles in my legs were so tired last night! We have plans to go see Ad Astra tomorrow at the same theater. I don't know if my out of shape legs can take it!

Monday I went and got my flu shot and stood in line for it for 40 minutes. Usually I don't get my flu shot until October sometime but I decided to just get it over with as they had started the flu shot clinic on Saturday. Well, next time I guess I will wait a little longer as I usually only have to stand in line behind a couple of people, not a long line. My legs have really gotten a workout this week.

Just_Lin said...

Mary I wonder if you shouldn't get someone else to do your Mani/pedi. If she doesn't listen to you. I assume they are Vietnamese. It seems they all are, pretty much. She shop I go to is owned and operated by Vietnamese. They are really nice and friendly. They do tend to talk to each other in their own language while they are working. I don't really care about that. It is amazing to me how very quietly they can talk and a person on the opposite end of the store hears them. They must have super hearing. When I had my acrylics done last week, my usual manicurist (and owner of the shop) accidentally hurt me when removing the old acrylic. Not a real horrible hurt but enough to make me jump. This never happens and we ended up making jokes about it.

I'm so glad your health coverage is safe. Good for you for helping to support the workers. Everything the workers ever get is fought for.

Just_Lin said...

Barb After standing in line for 40 minutes to get my flu shot, I went to Macy's to shop for tops. I tried on about 6 and none of them fit right. It was so disheartening and one of the reasons I really hate to shop. It's tiring and rarely successful.

It looks like I'll be pet sitting for my daughter next week as she is going to have to travel for her work. She'll be making the long drive down here on Saturday. She will be trying to find a pet sitter near her but hasn't, yet.

I'm going to have to go grocery shopping today so I guess it would be good it I had a better idea of what I need. It's been hot here so cooking does not sound appealing. Last night I finished off my spaghetti and none too soon. I was getting tired of it. LOL


So this new voting set up for DWTS totally leaves out the west coast. I am not a happy camper. I guess we could vote 3 hours before the show starts here and vote for who we liked best last week. I think they should go back to the voting hours they had before but have the public votes only count for 1/4 of the total votes as i the public was a fourth judge.

Just_Lin said...

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