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Sunday, May 28, 2023

On His Deathbed

 by Dianne

Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.

 

He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:

 

“My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.”

 

“My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end.”

 

“My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre.”

 

“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river.”

 

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, “Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property”.

 

Sarah replies, “Property? …. the old buggar had a paper route!”

6 comments:

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi having a nice Memorial Day weekend? We had plans today and tmrw for lunch with friends. We’re getting rain and hail every day. I was in three hailstorms this week. So scary and worried about my car. It looks like it made it through the storms. Every end of town was hail each day. Yesterday we went to my great nieces 3 year old birthday party. Lots of kids but they were mostly outside. Everyone young was in kitchen and for awhile we were the only ones in living room. Then the other old people came in there as they arrived. We’re doing ok. Louis is having a lot of anxiety. He’s on a low dose of meds but it needs to be increased. I put in a call yesterday to the dr. He is driving now and going to store now.

Barb,,glad to see you’re back. What a dang mess at your sisters. Any outcome yet? I hate plumbing things .

Some good news…we had the ARBNB in Branson for sept that we had last year. Very nice with bottom floor but nothing handicap. I saw someone on Branson blog looking for a handicap unit and some with one responded. I looked at the virtual ..very nice and called it’s family run for $4 mote a night. Ground floor, walk in shower, bars in bathroom, tall toilets so I reserved it. I’m so excited to have this now. Very nice ms and he and his wife run a few of them. It will be so nice to have that walk in shower. We r going for a week sept 11. Can’t wait.

JL your grandkids r very nice looking. What do they do and how old are they? Was talking to my girls last week and I told them to hand me the emery bards. They had no idea what I was talking about to them. They said oh u mean a nail file . They were laughing for ever about me saying emery board. I must be getting old. My youngest grandson is going on a school trip for two weeks to Spain and I forget where else. He’s such a good kid 4.2 gpa and in all sports. It’s s nice to have one not getting in trouble.

Well, I’m about to fall asleep. Just wanted to get this funny blog going. Night ❤️.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne That's great that you were able to score a proper handicap AIRBNB. That will make things so much easier, especially the shower. I am used to my tall toilet and I always feel like I'm almost falling when I have to use a low toilet.

Congrats to your grandson with the great gpa. How cool to have a school trip to Spain.

My grandson turned 22 in late April and is working as a salesman in a store that sells tools and equipment. His plan is to go to a trade school to learn the skill of programming a computer to build items out of metal. I probably didn't explain that very well. Apparently, it's a highly sought after skill and pays well. My granddaughter turned 20 in January and works for a veterinarian while taking classes to become a veterinarian. She's had the same boyfriend since she was a freshman in high school and he has just been accepted to be a police officer with Livermore PD. We had a very nice day visiting and we went out to lunch for fish and chips, something they love.

So....That pimple size bump that was removed from my scalp turned out to be cancerous (Basel Cell). Not happy news but at least it's small. I have to have the area cut out and that will happen on July 7. The skin will then be stapled shut. I don't like the sound of that at all. I'm hoping not to end up with too much of a bald spot. My hair's not that thick in the first place.

By the way, maybe I'm wrong but I believe a nail file is metal and has a scored area where you can file down your nails. I think an emery board is basically cardboard with a rough sand-like surface. We may use both for the same thing but they are actually two different things. Tell your granddaughters that.

Just_Lin said...

Barb OMG! I can't imagine not having a toilet for as long as your sister has been without. That is totally unacceptable! I hope it's all squared away now and that the HOA is paying all the costs. I would be very upset if it was me.

I've seen a few grumblings about some AI fans thinking the show was rigged to have Iam win. What crap! What a lousy thing to put out in the universe and put a damper on his win. I guess that's how it's going to be now. If your favorite one doesn't win, then call "rigged". That's the example they're seeing at the highest levels of government. Sad and pathetic.

Just_Lin said...

Mary Yesterday, I cleaned out and reorganized a closet where I keep extra blankets and throws. I managed to get rid of one old blanket and a an old throw. I don't know why I'm keeping all the ones I am. I don't think we'll suddenly have a freeze or anything.

Glad you got your new washer and dryer. Of course there just has to be a problem with getting them connected. Geeze. Why can't things just be easy? Anyway, it's nice you've had a little eye candy in the meantime. Speaking of dryers, I went to get my sheets out of the dryer only to discover I had never turned it on. Brother!

Dianne/Denver said...

JL. Neil tell my granddaughters about emery boards. I’ve asked a couple of younger people and they don’t know either. Well, we r excited in Denver tonight as we just won r playoff game for basketball. I’ve become interested since it’s the playoffs. It’s fun when it’s playoffs. Our weekend is supposed to be gloomy. I’m going to my friends summer party sat and it will probably be inside. Our weather is rain and hail every afternoon. I’m tired of it but at least no snow. A year ago we had a big snowstorm. Louis went to primary dr yesterday. He seems depressed and anxious a lot so they put him on some meds. He’s not doing his exercises much and that’s unlike him. He’s nervous about his trip to Va mid July. I spent two hours on with Expedia guarantying wheel chair assistance. I feel like I’m send my kid off alone. I’m kind of nervous about it too. Went to lunch with Todd and a few others Monday. He was on his way to work at a concert. He was paid $135 an hour since it was a holiday. Good wages. Both my younger grandsons got good gpa. The oldest one I have no idea what’s going on with him. I worry about him a lot

Girls r fine. Nothing else much new. Had a pedicure yesterday. Louis went with me. It’s harder for me to get in and out of the chair I’m waking up every day between 3-3:45 am every night. It makes for a very long day. I doze in the recliner some later. Has everyone doing what did u do for Memorial Day? On my way to bed night ❤️
Mary, is your washer all hooked up? What a pain.

Just_Lin said...

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