It Must Be Santa

by Zona

I've never been a big Bob Dylan fan..but I absolutely love this song and video. Randy found it one day while watching the Fuse music channel on On Demand. He'd seen it before..but I hadn't. I think I've watched it at least once a day since then. I love the way Dylan says.. "Who laughs this way..Ho Ho Ho.." makes me laugh every time!! :D

Dog Shaming

by Just Lin

~ Dear Crossing ~

by Tina~in_ut

Part 2

Southern Blonde

by Dianne

A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

 

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."

 

With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!"

 

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"

 

She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.

 

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.

 

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

 

The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."

 

Moral:

 

Not all Southerners are stupid.

 

Not all blondes are dumb.

 

But, all men..... are men.

My Favorite Animal

by Dianne

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.

I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. 

I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.

 

I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...

~ Give Me Your Hand (Best Song Ever) ~

by Tina~in_ut

Musings of the Mature

by Sac Barb

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. Its not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.