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Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Southern Blonde

by Dianne

A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
 
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."
 
With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!"
 
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
 
She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.
 
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.
 
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
 
The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."
 
Moral:
 
Not all Southerners are stupid.
 
Not all blondes are dumb.
 
But, all men..... are men.

61 comments:

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi and Good Morning Everyone.

Early to rise but not really rising.....just awake.

Hee hee. How true is this blog??

Hope that rain has stopped in California.

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

LOL Yep on the blog.

Whabby, I think I miss the food bank and the challenges of making sure everyone who came through the door had food and a gift for xmas. Like Barb said in area 51 it did more for me than them.

It could also be that I need to up my meds. :)

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi Lynn.... How are you doing today? Do you have "our" Christmas beach trip planned yet?

Gloria said...

Hello the friends of Night Owls. Many moons ago, I joined your group and then I left for issues that were affecting me. I explained to Barb and departed peacefully. All that stuff that was from Hello Ross is by the wayside and the issue that was was amended. I exchange emails with the very person that I was upset with. God is good in letting you see the good of a person and let's you see your faults as well. This past year I have done a lot of reading for my health issues are not good. A woman by the name of Robin contacted me via FB, letting me know that Dee Dee was ill and that Dee Dee was really a man. I came to the people that exchanged the best with Dee Dee and it was your little Owl Group here. I was saddened to read about Michael. I was also enlightned by Tina from Utah.... TINA: You were such a wonderful inspiration to me for what you did for your friend and your friendship with Michael. Your love was expressed in every word that you wrote. You were a true friend to him. I do not look at Michael as a he, Michael was Dee Dee to me that made me laugh and laugh and laugh with the comments she made throughout the time I would come here to read. I lapsed in time of coming for my health is declining and I am thankful to Robin that she contacted me. I once had a friend that lived in Arkansas, that had the same health issues as me, and Cindy died in 1999. Our Irish heritage connected us, our love of Celtic music consummed us in sharing. Blogs are established and long lasting friendships are created. With my deepest condolences to the this Owl Group that was created where people can gather without being nasty, without setting out intentionally to hurt another is wonderful. Our issues in life are strong, some believe in one way and other's do not,and it can cause distance in the end. I am glad that in a circle of aquaintances, I got to read Dee Dee's comments. Michael is in heaven for was loved by many in so many ways. I wrote Whabbear and asked him to relay my message to you Tina...........Today, I decided to say it to you myself. You are a wonderful woman with such an understanding husband and family to allow you the private time with Michael you needed to say goodbye. The blanket you made him was the olive branch of love that God wants for all of us to have. Tina.....you were a wonderful friend to MICHAEL....

Zona said...

DI: LOL! Absolutely true!! :D

I'm finding that I'm actually going to bed earlier and sleeping later the last few weeks..I don't know if it's old fadooism..or the cooler weather..

LYNN: The search continues.. ;)

It's a little chilly this morning..or it could just be that I'm still dressing like it was summer..shorts..tank top..bare feets..force of habit since it's hot here a lot longer than it's cold..well..cooler anyway.. ;D

I've got to catch up on laundry today..waaay behind because of the crazy weekend..but at least I don't have to dust too! :D

Have a good day everyone! :)

sacBarb said...

Dianne, soooo true. Blondes get a bad rap. I know some really smart blondes, and some really dumb brunettes, but all men would fall for this. LOL

Lynn, LOL@ upping your meds.

Zona, maybe you're just getting into keeping more 'normal' (whatever that is) hours.

sacBarb said...

OK, Maybe not ALL men!

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Well, you sure are pretty this morning at first. So have you ever tried that trick when you go gambling? Maybe this is why Mary always comes home a winner. Hmmmm.....

Just_Lin said...

LynnD LOL @ uping your meds. Maybe you just need a little more "alone time". I have plenty of that now but I know having some alone time is essential for my well being and my mood in general.

Just_Lin said...

Gloria Well, said. Tina was a true friend to Michael/DeeDee. We will miss his unique take on things.

Just_Lin said...

Zona No wonder you're cold. Put on some clothes, woman!

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb I guess those men never had such good luck at the craps table before. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Took the dog for a walk down by the pier today. The one time I forgot to bring a plastic bag, she takes a dump. I mean.....really? I then had to go back to my car to get the bag and clean up the dog's mess or I would have felt guilty.

Just_Lin said...

Having an early dinner with friends then we plan to go see "Lincoln".

Dianne/Denver said...

JL, enjoy your evening out. I hear that's a good movie. I love Sally Field. There are some fun looking movies coming up this month. I don't know if I can sit through a whole movie yet with that knee bent.

Gloria, thanks for posting.

Zona, I know you have warmer clothes. What is it about 70 there now? Brrr

Barb, do you have any shows coming up? We just received tickets for War Horse, Jekyll and Hyde and Catch Me if You Can. The lead in Jekyll is from American Idol.

whabbear said...

Barb: You took the words right out of my mouth! Not all men! LOL!


Gloria: I am so sorry I hadn't got around to relaying your thoughts to Tina! My bad!

Tina~in_ut said...

Dang my mouth hurts~ ugh~

Di~ ur HOT in first~

Lynn~ Up ur meds~ :)~

Gloria~ You made me cry.....at work~ I rarely read the comments at work anymore...I just don't have the time...today...I did...and bam! Thank you for your kind words~ Michael's sister read them too. And SHE cried~ You are very sweet....we both thank you~

Zona~ you really should start wearing clothes and stop hanging out nude in ur house~ ijs~

Barb~ lol....yes....not ALL men~

J/L~ I feel the need to yell at you for sending me rain!~ :D

Bear~ ur bad~

Dianne/Denver said...

Tina, we will take your rain as long as it doesn't turn into snow

Just_Lin said...

Tina Is it still raining there because it returned here.

Just_Lin said...

Bear If you're lucky, someone might spank you. ;)

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I really enjoyed the movie.

sacBarb said...

The rain is back here, too. We have had enough for a while!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Cute blog and so true!!

Jodi said...

Waving a wing at LYNN, DIANNE, GLORIA (beautiful post, btw), ZONA, BARB, SLIN, WHABBY & WHORETINA!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - I wanted to go to see Lincoln last Sunday, but my hubby wouldn't go because the it started before the Packer game was done. Oh, well....I have Friday off. Maybe I can go then!!

Jodi said...

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. Took the time to take a nap before heading out to the Tudor Holiday Concert Dinner. I knew it would get done late. What a fun night!! Started with "whores drawers" and Wassail, then on to the Great Hall for loads of singing (including a Carol sing-a-long) and a lovely meal that included Beef Wellington and topped off by a Flaming Figgy Pudding!! My cousin Donna and Shannon (Dale's girlfriend when he passed...who is really still my sis) are both in the Madison Philharmonic Choir and invited me to the event. What a fun night!! Think a classier version of Medieval Times with a holiday twist!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi, sounds like a fun night and something different and get you in the holiday spirit. Btw, did you ever talk to your coworker about working holidays?

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I really haven't had the opportunity to have a private conversation with her. I really should tho....

Just_Lin said...

HOdi That sounds like a wonderful evening.

Jodi said...

It truly was SLIN!! Hoping that I've started a new tradition ♥

Jodi said...

Fresh pot of coffee, Diet Pepsi, Pepsi, OJ, and a lovely assortment of Christmas cookies for all you early risers ♥

Lynn D said...

I'll take some coffee in a very large Mug. Just rolled out of bed.

Welcome Gloria

Just_Lin said...

Pouring myself a cup of joe.

HOdi Thanks for the coffee. Not sure I trust myself around all the yummy looking cookies.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD Good morning! Any plans today? It was raining through the night. Not it has stopped and I don't know if we are expecting more. It doesn't look too inviting out there, just cold and gray.

Just_Lin said...

I spoke too soon. It's raining again, lightly.

Lynn D said...

Afternoon Asters!

I am thinking about going Platinum Blonde. So what do you think?

Just_Lin said...

LynnD I think you should go for it. I think you're happier as a blonde. :)

Dianne/Denver said...

Lynn, I think it would look cool. It's fun to experiment and do different things. If you don't like it, easy enough to change it.

JL, you have to much rain. I like the sun to shine all the time.

I went back to WW today and lost 8 pounds since my surgery. I'm happy about that but why Louis get to lose 47 and me only 8?

My knee is still bothering me so pt was light today and then iced. It's swollen and just not feeling great. Discouraging!!!

I drove a cart around Target today and picked up a few things for Christmas. There's no way I could walk it with my cane.

Things seem pretty quiet on here today.

whabbear said...

Good evening, night owls! J/L, it's been drizzling down here all night.

Did you get to see Lincoln? And Jodi, what about you? I raced out to see it two weeks ago, and loved loved loved it! Really absorbing film, and full of history that I didn't know. Highly recommended!

whabbear said...

Dianne, if you like the sun to shine all the time... get thee to Palm Springs!

Just_Lin said...

Bear Yes, I did see it and it was a very good movie. Very interesting slice of history. The politics of it all was fascinating.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne We really don't get too much rain, we've just got a lot of it lately.

I was at Target today, too. I went just to get some Christmas cards and walked out hours later and $275 lighter. I didn't even buy a single gift, either. :(

Jodi said...

SLIN - Just break them open, and all the calories will fall out!!

Jodi said...

LYNN - I think that would make u one HOT spoonin' HO!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Way to go!! Keep it up lady :)

Jodi said...

WHABBY - Planning on seeing it today!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Morning Everyone, I'd like to see a few movies that are out now but don't know if I can sit and walk that far yet. We shall see

Bear, I like the sun to be out but not too hot. We have the sun most of the time here except it was too hot this summer for my liking...I love fall and winter actually.

JL, what did you buy for that amount of money if none were gifts? I left $200 but some were gifts for granddaughters...only one thing for me.

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

I think I am going to go do it next week. Dianne echos my thoughts If I hate it I can dye it back. I was really looking at transitioning to my natural gray.

I want to go see Lincoln too but time has been an issue.

Waving at all of you! PS it is raining here. Gloomy!

Dianne/Denver said...

Tonight is big Bronco game against the dreaded Raiders. Any bets how there and how many points will you give me?

Just_Lin said...

HOdi LOL @ the cslories falling out. I think someone spiked your eggnog.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Nothing I bought cost that much it's just that I bought a lot of it. Cards, new throw pillows, a new throw, some new Christmas candles and decorations, etc. It just really added up, that's for sure.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD Speaking of time being an issue.......I thought I would accomplish a lot today but then I slept until 11:00. I knew I was tired, I just didn't know I was THAT tired.

Mary/MI said...

Hi eeryone1 Time has def. been an issue here! Seems like every day has been nothing but run run run!
I have not had much puter time. I finally got my tree up and some decorations.
The next few days will be busy also. Jim's Niece passed away yesterday. She has been living with MS most of her life.
My neighbor had his 8th knee surgery today. I heard it went well. I have a hair apptmt tomorrow and will be visiting him and then on to the funeral visitation.
We leave for Vegas next Fri, so packing is also on my list!

LynnD, JUST "DO IT" :) I hope there will be pics!

Dianne, I bet you are one rolling terror on that grocery buggy lol!

Zona, where are you?

Jodi, " Beef Wellington!" I haven't had that in years!! *salivating*

Just Lin, I hope the sun starts shinning soon! At least you have a chance, here it will be gloomy until spring :(

Whabby, PS is the magic word!!!

Mary/MI said...

I really should proof read lol!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Well, the Broncos won and no one even bet me !!! Where are Zona and Barb?

Rested my knees all day except for a drs appt that took forever---they both still hurt. :(

Mary, I've been known to knock over a clothes rack or two on the scooter. Fun that you're going to Vegas next week. I'd like to be going there for a couple of days.

Very sorry about the loss of Jim's niece.

Mary/MI said...

Yay, Dianne is still awake!
I sure would like to see you terrorizing those clothes racks lol!!

I need to get to bed. My appointment is at 12:15 in Lansing. My poor hair dresser. I keep expecting her to perform miracles!!
Have a great day all!!
p.s. I am missing Tina, Barb and Tinka

Waving at Whabby and all other owlets :)
Good night z-z-z-z-z-z

Dianne/Denver said...

Night Mary. Have a good sleep. I wonder if JL is still up, she usually is a late owl.

sacBarb said...

Here I am Mary. I've been crazy busy these past few days, too. I think I will stay home and just vege tomorrow. So sorry about your loss. MS is a terrible disease.

Dianne, NO way would I give up points for any Raiders game. You should give me a BUNCH of points along with a lot of sympathy. It's been really hard to be a Raiders fan for a lot of years now, but I'm still hangin' in there.

Good night and sweet dreams everyone.

Just_Lin said...

Here I am!

Just_Lin said...

Mary I'm so sorry for your loss.

How long will you be staying in Vegas? I live so much closer to it than you and I never go. I should talk to my daughter about taking that trip with me.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne and Barb Okay, this is my "Oh, shit" moment for the day. I am finally starting to make out my Christmas cards and I get to the bottom of the box and there are a bunch of sheets of paper with the words, "Please place this protective paper over the frnt of the card in envelope before mailing". Ooops! Here's Your cards are already in envelopes so here's hoping they arrive intact.