Grandma & Grandpa

 by Dianne

~ Happy Thanksgiving ~

 

Never Assume

 by Dianne

~ Happy Halloween ~

 

Yearly Exam

 by Dianne

No One Believes Seniors Anymore

 by Dianne

No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile.

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally. On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!

Jerry said, "We've got to give it back."

Sally said, "Finders keepers." 

She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. "Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

Sally said, "No."

Jerry said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him. 

One said, "Tell us the story from the beginning."

Jerry said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, "Were outta here!"

Wife is Missing

 by Dianne

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home…

 

Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height?

 

Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

 

Sergeant: Weight?

 

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

 

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

 

Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

 

Sergeant: Color of hair?

 

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

 

Sergeant: What was she wearing?

 

Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't  know exactly.

 

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

 

Husband: She went in my truck.

 

Sergeant: What  kind of truck was it?

 

Husband: A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission and climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the  bed, which has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather  6-way seats and "Bubba" floor mats. Trail-ring package with gold hitch and special wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver, 23-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelin's. It has custom  running boards and indirect wheel well lighting.

 

At this point the husband started choking  up. . .

 

Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck.