Acceptable uses of the "F" word in history

by Dianne

There are only ten times in history where 

the"F" word has been considered 

acceptable for use.

 

10. "What the @#$% do you mean,
we're sinking?"

-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912

9. "What the @#$% was that?"

-- Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945

8. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"

-- Custer, 1877

 

7. "Any @#$%ing idiot
could understand that."

-- Einstein, 1938

 

6. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"

-- Picasso, 1926

 

5. "How the @#$%
did you work that out?"

-- Pythagoras, 126 BC

 

4. "You want WHAT
on the @#$%ing ceiling?”

-- Michelangelo, 1566

 

3. "Where the @#$% are we?"

-- Amelia Earhart, 1937

 

2. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"

-- Noah, 4314 BC

 

1. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"

-- Bill Clinton, 1998

~ Happens More Often Than You Think ~

(I am closing the ticket counter for the night. Our airline believes very strongly on flights leaving on time, and as such have a strict 30 minute cutoff policy. Anyone arriving at less than 30 minutes to departure will not be allowed to check in. It is 27 minutes to the last flight’s departure, and a man comes running to the counter, where my coworker and her trainee are still at an open computer.)

Passenger: “I need to check in for this flight!”

Coworker: “I am really sorry, sir, but unfortunately you are too late to make your flight. I will be glad to rebook you for a flight tomorrow. May I see your ID?”

Passenger: “What do you mean I’m too late? The flight doesn’t leave until 9 pm!”

Trainee: “Yes sir, but we have a 30 minute cutoff for check in, and it’s 8:33 pm.”

Passenger: “It’s only three minutes!”

Trainee: “Yes sir, but you still have to get through security. We want the other 131 passengers on the plane to leave on time.”

Coworker: “I’m very sorry, sir, but it is too late. Like I said, I would be glad to book you on a different flight tomorrow.”

Passenger: “Your airline is stupid! I got your stupid credit card because I thought you would respect loyalty! It’s the last flight of the night and I’m going to be f****** stuck here until tomorrow!”

(The passenger continues to get increasingly angry and starts yelling obscenities. Everyone around, including the employees of airlines next to us, are staring. He is waving the credit card around.)

Passenger: “Fine! Rebook me for tomorrow! And give me that stapler!”

(My coworker hands him the stapler. The passenger uses the stapler to split the credit card in half, then throws the pieces at my coworker.)

Passenger: “I will never fly your airline again!”

Coworker: “Sir, I have been trying to help you, but I won’t take this kind of abuse. Now, if you want me to continue, I will need you to stop. Also, I would like to inform you that your flight was actually for tomorrow.”

Passenger: *suddenly quiet* “Oh. My wife was supposed to call and change that.”

Coworker: “Well, she didn’t. Do you still want me to rebook you?”

Passenger: “Never mind. I’ll just call.” *leaves*

Trainee: “Wow.”

~ Delta's Newest Safety Video ~

~ La Mordidita ~

~ Bad Blood ~

~ Mother's Day ~

The Beach was too Sandy........

by Dianne

THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

 

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons.  I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

 

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

 

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

 

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

 

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

 

7. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

 

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

 

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

 

10. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

 

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

 

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

 

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

 

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.'  We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

 

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

 

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

 

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

 

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

 

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked." 
        BE AWARE .... THEY WALK AMONG US ... and THEY VOTE!!!!