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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Getting Old

by Dianne

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately call the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all.

“Honey,” I stammered. I always call her “Honey” in times like these. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”


There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Diane’s voice.

“Ken,” she barked, “I dropped you off!”

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”

Diane retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car!”

22 comments:

Michael said...

I can't get the video to play...

Did the wife go to jail and become the love slave of the other inmates?

Michael said...

Today in history!

On Feb. 8, 1587, Mary, Queen of Scots was beheaded at Fotheringhay Castle in England after she was implicated in a plot to murder her cousin, Queen Elizabeth I.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, That was very funny. I have a friend who did the same thing except he didn't report it stolen. However, he told everyone within hearing distance at the golf course that his car was stolen, then his wife drove up. He has never lived it down.

Good morning Michael. Congrats on snagging the first spot this morning.

Lynn D said...

LOL This is so me!!!

Just_Lin said...

Michael Nice hat.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb It's so nice to see you here again. That's funny that your friend did that. I wouldn't let him live it down, either.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD Which room are you working on next? I need to follow your example and get crackin' around here.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Thanks for the blog today. For a minute there, I thought it was a story about you and Mr. Dianned. LOL

Dianne/Denver said...

JL--it could easily be a blog about Louis and I. I don't which role we would play as it could be either of us.
Today is our 9th wedding anniversary. Time flies.....

Sacbarb--great to see u. How r u doing and feeling? Does the dr say u r coming along good? I hope so

Lynn---so u might think u car was taken, huh? Me too. Actually, I think I did once. Boy, u r busy cleaning and organizing. I need some of ur energy.

Michael--- congrats on first place with ur shiny new clothes and hat. You look lovely. R u going to see that movie about the Queen with Meryl Streep?

Lynn D said...

Afternoon all!

J/L I think the upstairs hallway is next but I am going to take a break for a few days first. :)

Dianne/Denver said...

Btw, I do know the movie is not about that above queen, Tina!!!

Tina~in_ut said...

Dianne~ really weird thing.....last night I was thinking about ur anniversary and trying to think of when it is.....and this morning....I got an email reminder that TODAY is ur anniversary......congrats to you both! You'll be at 50 years in no time (just add all your marriages as well as Louis'!) :)~

thanks for the blag~

Zona said...

Hi Guys!

DI: This really made me laugh..for lots of reasons.. ;D

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! :)

MICHAEL: Push the arrow button.. ;D

BARB: Randy always remembers where the car is and I always forget..I've told him more than once that the car was gone..lol..he's nice enough to forget I said it! :D

J/LIN: Super sox sliding today..I mopped the kitchen floor and the entry way..wheeeeee!!! :D

LYNN: My mom would always say to tackle one room at a time..she never said how many days you had to finish each one..and I never asked..this month it's the living room..lol..

Maureen said...

DIANNE...that was hilarious! And HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

SAC BARB...so nice to see you. I hope you are feeling better.

Tinka said...

Dianne - Happy Anniversary. Hope you had a fun day.

I certainly enjoyed your blog. Jack and I are doing things like that more and more. It's only funny when you read about someone else doing the "senior moment thing".
It actually is quite worrisome.

Sorry I am late in posting. It is time for our DVD so I will just have time to wish the following a good night and sweet dreams.
Waving a wing at Michael, SacBarb, Lynn, Just_Lin,
Dianne, Tina, Zona-My-Baby, and Maureen.
See you in the morning.

Dianne/Denver said...

Thanks for the comments and the Anniversary wishes. I seem to always get sen jokes for old people. I must have old friends :)

Michael said...

Dianne...

I think life in your neighborhood is more exciting than you let on...

You dropped off Louis and got this story and I think that was you in the previous ice video cutting didos down that street...

I thought I heard someone yell "GERONIMO!"

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Happy Anniversary to you and Louis! Did you do anything special to celebrate?

Just_Lin said...

LynnD Today I vacuumed and dusted. That's the most I've done around the house in a week.

Just_Lin said...

Zona My kitchen floor could use a mopping. Hint, hint.

Just_Lin said...

MO Waving a wing at you. I see by your avatar that you still don't like winter.

Just_Lin said...

Tinka Enjoy your DVD.