Thursday, January 10, 2013

Should I Really Join Facebook?

by Dianne

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting World.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship....When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot." 


sacBarb said...

Dianne, Thanks so much for the blog today. LMAO @ bi-sacksual. I totally identify with this guy.

I am up early because the guys that are going to put up my new gutters are supposed to be here between 7am-8am. I thought I'd better get up early enough to get myself together so as not to scare them when they arrive.

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Dianne like Sacbarb I am going to use the Bi-sacksual line next time I get asked. The whole blog is so true!

I have some running around today and I hope to have some peace and quiet. Yeah right!

Hope everyone has a great day!

Just_Lin said...

SAcBarb You are really an early bird today and I must say that you look mah-velous. I hope the gutter installation has or is going well. I need to look into that pretty soon, too. There are a number of things I need to do around the house, actually, so why do I keep booking trips instead? Not very responsible of me, I suppose.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD I hope you have a relaxing and restful day. Oh, wait. There are toddlers there. Never mind. ;)

Mary/MI said...

Dianne, my hubby could have written the phone part. He is a math wiz and retired engineer, but has no clue on phone gadgets/washing machine/dryer/dishwasher/or home 'puters. The other day I got tired of his missing home phone messages. I had to instruct him on retreating messages gah!!

Barb, you are beautiful even with your "morning look".

I remember years ago when I was in the bad habit of going to bed with my make up on, I had to answer the door. I worked nights so I rarely got up early. Anyhoo, I forget who was at the door, but I do remember the look he gave me! After he left I looked in the mirror! It looked like I had been in a bar brawl! Blackened eyes and all! It's a wonder he didn't call the cops cuz I sure looked like someone had beaten the hell out of me lol!!! I now have a hall stand with a long mirror next to the front door!

JustLin,Never regret those trips! The home upkeep never ends.

Gloria said...

Dianne....Thanks for allowing me to laugh really loud!! It was needed.

On New Year's Eve, I was admitted to the hospital with all sorts of problems and I came home on Tuesday afternoon. I had a rough road with my lungs & heart but I am HOME. I am in a much better place now healthwise than I was.

Just wanted to say Hi to everyone. My kids knew I was down and out when I did not ask for the lap top. My son brought it up to me on Sunday so I read the back postings.

Take care and I will catch up when I am up and about a little more...

Just_Lin said...

Gloria Gee, I'm sorry that's how you spent your New Year's Eve. I'm glad you are home and doing better now. Here's hoping you are good as new soon.

Dianne/Denver said...

Gloria, I hope you stay better this time. Take good care of yourself. You've had a rough time of it.

Went to see the play War Horse tonight. It was very interesting how they did the horses. I hadn't seen the movie so it was an interesting play. It was a little slow in the beginning. My friend cooked dinner before we went to the show. It was so nice to have a home cooked almost made me miss my own cooking!!!!

I went to the movie today to see Guilt Trip. It was pretty darn funny. It makes you wonder if you the kind of mom Streisand is in the movie. I'd recommend it. I've seen two good movies in two weeks. Nice to get back to movies again.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning so I'm off to bed. Good night everyone and thanks for the comments.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I forgot to thank you for the blog today. I'm sorry. I must have needed more caffeine to get my brain working right. Why were you awake at 4:30? Yikes! You are really turning into an early bird.

Dianne/Denver said...

JL, I don't know why I'm waking up so early after about two hours sleep. I stay awake for about two hours and then drift off until alarm wakes me up. I don't like it because here it is 1:30 AM and I'm still awake.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Your body seems to be adopting a bad habit.

Dianne/Denver said...

Yes......bab habit is right!!!