Wednesday, August 5, 2015

From The Back Pew

by Dianne

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us." Silence fell over the congregation.

In the back pew was sitting Pat who had mistakenly entered the wrong church after having a few too many pints.  Pat stood up and said, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
The entire congregation said, "Amen."


Just_Lin said...

Dianne Cute blog! Hey, I'm up early today. I don't expect to make a habit of it. I hope to actually accomplish something today. Yesterday was a waste as my back problems kept me from doing too much.

Just_Lin said...

Mary I don't know where you get your energy. It must be all that good Mexican food you're always cooking. :)

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I can barely lift my coffee cup at this hour and you're already hoisted and rinsed. I hope you have a great day. From the looks of it, I think we're going to have a pretty good one here.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Ha!! Rubbers, indeed ;)

Jodi said...

SLIN - My body doesn't know any better after 10 years. Even on Friday I'm choosing to get up at the pre-butt-crack-of-dawn, so we can get on the road at 4 am. I told Shari she can just sleep in the car! But this way we can get a jump on the crap traffic around Chicago getting to Indianapolis.

Jodi said...

SLIN - Btw, you look marvelous!

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi, you r quite the early bird. If we lived together, we'd never see each other with the hours we keep. So Paul doesn't think us reminding them of things to geT done is cute either, right?

JL, so pretty at first and thanks for letting us know when there are new blogs. Have you talked to,a Barb? How is she doing? Well, how much did you accomplish today? I did my Wednesday lunch and WW. I lost this week so that was nice. I called Zona on the way home and had a nice long talk with her. I hadn't talked with her for awhile. She's not enjoying her 110 degrees least she can jump in the pool.

Mary, you are full of energy. I too hope I have that energy when I'm your age!! WAIT!!! I am your age.

It was 98 here today and that's too darn hot for me. I'm getting my windows tinted on the car tomorrow. We did Louis's car before vacation and now mine.

Remember how I said the other day that back pack guy made me nervous? Look what happened in Nashville today and only eight people in the theater. I think it should not be allowed to take one in. Scares the crap out of me.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - You know I've always been a Night Owl be default, because I get up so freakin' early!! How scary about Nashville. And I'm going to the theater tonight. Going to watch the Madison Scouts live from Prelims at DCI Championships! I hope they capture some up close shots of James!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Good morning! Any time I am up before The View starts at 10:00 is an early day for me. LOL I have been getting up kind of early lately. Maybe it's just one more thing I can blame on old age.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Yikes! 110! That's way too hot. I don't know how people live in that kind of heat. I guess you get used to it. Barb seems to be doing well. Her son is still there and now she has two new kitties to entertain her.

My daughter and I are contemplating a cruise in May. It includes 6 days in France before going to Barcelona for the actual cruise which ends in Rome. The 6 day land tour really adds to the expense so we will see. Since I am 1/4 French, I would really like to see something of France before I die.

Mary/MI said...

Helllloooo, You keep trying to lose me lol!

Yup Preacher man should quit going "in there" without his rubbers!!

Hodi, safe travels! Chicago is the main reason I don't drive to LoHos. I'm not as brave as you lol!

Dianne, I am not an early riser either unless it's to pee lol! It is one of the many benefits of being retired! I remember many times at work I would get so sleepy that I would think "just a few seconds of shut eye!" I would lay my head down on my breaks and nap & miss my pee time lol! Love retirement!

JL, You have got to go to France!!! Italy is my favorite next to France.I have to admit 6 days would be a lot, even for me!

sacBarb said...

Hello all you beautiful HOoters! I am so sorry to have been MIA. I just don't seem to have enough awake hours to fit all my former activities in. LOL. I have been able to cut down on the pain meds again, so hopefully I won't be sleeping as much. Plus these kitties don't sleep late and it seems they like waking me up. They keep jumping on my bed until I finally have no choice but to acknowledge them. But I love having them. They are very entertaining and I can see that they have already grown since they have been here.

I haven't caught up on the blogs I missed. I'll try to go back and read them, but I have a hard time concentrating on reading. I'm sure it's the drugs. I am trying to read Neil Patrick Harris' book and I have to keep reading the same page over and over. I think I'll just give it up for now. I hope you all are well. Love you all.

sacBarb said...

P.S. Thanks for missing me!

Just_Lin said...

New blog.