Friday, August 21, 2015

The Old Cowboy

by Dianne

Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you are over seventy who gives a crap?
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said,
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your
hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over
there instead of you."
When you are over seventy who gives a crap?
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess
what day a woman was born on just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose
patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
When you are over seventy who gives a crap?
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you are over seventy who gives a crap?
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing
on a table. I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed
by now."
When you are over seventy who gives a crap?


Dianne/Denver said...

Blogger Dianne/Denver said...
Mary. Who the heck is Donna? You and Barb always gave me such a hard time mixing up your names and now I'm even more confused. I have had a lot of dental issues and hate them but really dreading this one on Monday.

Tomorrow is my exciting dr to see why my iron is so low and if they should set up an appt for a scoping for me. All this plus I'm so,short of breath is starting to make me a little depressed. I had Louis take me to hair appt today as the handicap parking is far from hair place. I hate to interrupt his work but I was just nervous about the walk. I'm not liking this....

Jodi, I love hearing your daily excursions. It's like we r with u. Thanks for sharing and keep having fun. Tell Sue hi for me. Was it really crowded at Pearl Harbor? I've been there but would love to get Louis over there.

JL. Sounds like you had a nice day. I so wish I lived by you.

Barb, it's so great to see you. Glad to hear you're doing well. I'm sure you're going to miss Chad but now u have those kittens to ke you company. When can you start driving? Maybe you will find that out at the dr tomorrow. Good luck.

August 21, 2015 at 12:09 AM Delete

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi...just thought I'd repost my comment from last night since it was the last one.

Jodi, is Saturday the wedding? I think you ha e gone over to the other island now. Glad to see Paul picked out his Hawaii shirt...nice!

Barb, how did the dr turn out today? What can u do now that was restricted?

I went to my dr today and was there a long time waiting in a room. I hate that!! I have to be scoped at the hospital do they will set it up Monday. They said they are booked 6-7 weeks out...crazy!! I'll either be well or dead by then.

Where are you all today? JL, MARY? Come on Mary...I'm still stuck on Donna.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Thanks for today's blog. I'm sorry you will have to wait so long for the scope appointment. Maybe there will be a cancellation so you can get in sooner.

My life is boring so I don't have much to write about. I was at Home Depot again yesterday discussing doors. I did make decisions about what type of new front door I want so that was good. They are sending someone out next Thursday to take measurements. I want to get the new door installed before I have the house painted and I want the house painted before winter rains hit. I'm starting to worry about the timing as it will take a few weeks to get the door and I'll be gone for about 1 1/2 weeks in late September and again in early November. I'm starting to feel anxious about it all.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - These make me laugh! Sounds like some crap Paul's Grandpa would do. Ha! I told Sue hi from all the HOoters! Gave out hugs, too. Pearl Harbor was not crowded, but we got there somewhat early. We would've been there sooner, but I made the mistake of putting Pearl Harbor in the GPS instead of Arizona Memorial. It took us to the base, so we had to take another drive to get to the memorial. We arrived in Kauai yesterday just before lunch. Met up with everyone for the rehearsal, and had the most amazing rehearsal dinner sunset cruise!

Jodi said...

MARY - I about pee'd my self about stowing away in my bra!!! I hope you are having a great day!

Jodi said...

MARY - We head home late Monday night.

Jodi said...

SLIN - Sunway's gig was so fun. They even played a very romantic song that Paul and I danced to. He was so sweet to do that. I know dancing isn't his favorite thing. I got emotional in the moment. And then I panicked and said to Paul "I guess I blew it and used up our dancing for the wedding." He just smiled and said "new island". God I love him!

Jodi said...

Still dark here, but want to watch the sun rise. I best go hoist and rinse! Have a great day HOoters 💚

Jodi said...

BARB - How did your appointment go?

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I saw the short vid of you and Paul dancing. So sweet! I'm glad he's up for doing it today after the wedding. I know you're having a wonderful time. A week sure flies by fast when you're having fun. I'm glad you leave Monday as it appears they have some nasty weather arriving on Wednesday and I wouldn't want you flying in that.

Jodi said...

SLIN - Yes, we do leave Monday. Whew!!

Mary/MI said...

Jodi, that sunset cruise looked wonderful! You two looked so cute dancing!
He was sweet to say "different Island. He looks handsome in the Hawaiian shirt :)

Dianne, I have no idea where I got the name "Donna", I must have been having a senior moment. I get those a lot lol!!! Take good care of yourself kiddo!!!

JL, I'm one of those peeps that gets excited about new things like doors, turlets,patios,etc lol!! I would be over the top with buying a new house like
Tina in Utah <-- I used the whole thing cuz she has been mia so long you may not realize who I was talking about ;.{

Barb,Are you able to "twerk" yet? Waltz? Limbo?

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I'll have to go find the pics of the sunset cruise. Are the two of you coming back more tan than when you left?

Just_Lin said...

Mary I'm not friends with Tina on her more recent FB page so didn't know about her new house. I have never moved into a brand new house so I would be over the moon about it, too.

sacBarb said...

I went to the doc on Thursday and it went very well. The restrictions are still in place (no bending, twisting, lifting only up to 8 lbs) except for driving. I can drive short distances so I will be able to go to the gross-ry store after Chad leaves and of course to get my nails done. Sheenah's shop is only one mile from my house.

Mary, I will not be twerking - EVER!

Jodi, Reading all your posts from Hawaii I am getting an itch to go. Maybe when I get a final release from the doc I can make it happen.

J/L, Tara, the black and white kitten has been sneezing. If it keeps up, I guess I should take her to the vet. I don't know what it could be. Maybe she is allergic to me!

Dianne, Love the blog. Some of those really cracked me up. I married an Okie so my in-laws used to say stuff like that all the time! At first it would shock me because I had never heard people talk like that, but eventually I got used to it.

Just_Lin said...

Barb Did she go to the vet's recently where she might have picked up a virus? Other than that, they sneeze for the same reasons we do. If you've tried the new light weight litter, it may be so light that she inhales some of its dust when she scratches it. Other things like perfumes and air sprays can make them sneeze. If her eyes are runny, too, and she seems kind of lethargic, you should probably take her to the vet or at least call them about it.

Jodi said...

Waving a wing from Kauai! Paul and I are dining at Duke's Barefoot Bar for our last dinner on this island. I'm going to totally splurge and have Hula pie for dessert! Tomorrow Paul was suppose to go on that fishing trip in the morning, but with the looming storm, the ocean is pretty rough right now. So we decided to take a trip up to the north shore in the morning instead.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Enjoy your last day in paradise. North shore of Kauai is lovely. What a surprise, right? LOL

Jodi said...

SLIN - It's raining like a mofo here, now. We will see what the day brings. I do know that up by Honelei this rain will make for some spectacular waterfalls in the mountains!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I wish you could bring us some of that rain as you fly over. Enjoy your last day, whatever you do.

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi, you are probably home and exhausted by now. Hope you have a day or two off to rest. Looks like your trip was perfect.

JL, still haven't heard from dr regarding scope so will call in morning. Btw, where are you going on your second trip you mentioned ?

Got my tooth pulled on Monday. They gave me gas and it helped a lot. I didn't even know the tooth was out. Monday was a sleep and Tylenol day. I was much better today. This went better than last time. Now I have a temp bridge for a month.

Barb, glad you can at least drive. That's a big deal. Hope you get better every day.