Saturday, August 8, 2015

Why Irish Women Make Better Assassins

by Dianne

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men (Pat and Mike) and a woman (Colleen).

For the final test, the CIA agents took Pat to a large metal door and handed him a gun.  

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her." 

Pat said,  "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my dear wife".

The agent said, "Pat, you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home".

Mike was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my dear wife."

The agent said, "Mike, you too, don't have what it takes, so take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was Colleen’s turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.
Colleen said, "The gun was loaded with blanks. I had to kill him with the chair.


Just_Lin said...

Dianne Yikes! I guess women follow directions better than men.

Just_Lin said...

Well, this is lonely. Where is everyone?

Dianne/Denver said...

Here I am. Boy, things were quiet. Have you decided any more about your future trip, JL? It sounds wonderful.

Barb, glad to see you on blog. Do you feel like your surgery has corrected the problem? I sure hope do. I hope you'll be dancing a jig pretty soon.

Had an old co worker mini reunion breakfast Sunday. It was fun to see my old friends and catch up. They are all still working and listening to them made me happy I'm not!!

Tomorrow I'm driving to Greeley for lunch. It's about an hour and a half drive. I'm going to have lunch with my uncle. It should be fun.

Louis starts school on Friday and he's not too excited about it. He's enjoyed the summer off.

That's about it. Went to a birthday/anniversary party Saturday.

Jodi said...

SLIN - I agree!!! This is also why I enjoy having GPS. God forbid my hubby stop for directions ;)

Jodi said...

We had an awesome weekend in Indianapolis! The Scouts did really well. They ended up in 8th. 3 spots better than last year. James really put it all in his performances. He was electric! On Saturday after finals we went to the after party, and when James walked in all the staff stood up and hollered for him! So fun! The drive home sucked. One of the major highways we needed heading north was closed down, so the GPS took us on every back road and tumbleweed town. Made the trip home 2 1/2 hours longer. OY!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Have a safe drive and enjoy lunch with your Uncle.

Jodi said...

Just sitting here having a mani/pedi for our trip. We leave next Tuesday! Only 4 more shifts to work. I told Milissa I would NOT be available. Because its my day off, and of course she called me this morning to help her with the shift tapes.

Have a great day HOoters!

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I'm glad you and HOdi showed up. I was beginning to feel abandoned.

I'm glad you had a good time with your former co-workers. Sunday I will be having breakfast with some of the people I used to work with. We try to do that every couple of months or so.

My daughter and I haven't made any commitment about the cruise. Still thinking it over. Another thing I'm thinking about is a new front door for my house. I got it in my head that I wanted a new front door installed before I have the house painted. Now I'm not so sure. It would save money to just get the house painted and not worry about the door. Maybe just getting new hardware for it would be good enough.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Only one week away now? That has come up fast. I hope the weather cooperates for you and that you don't have to dodge any storms. Did your other dress arrive yet?

Just_Lin said...

Barb I'm glad you're feeling good enough to taper off the pain meds. Gotta love kitties. They are so entertaining. Is Chad the one bending over to clean the litter box now?

Just_Lin said...

Mary Thinking about trips.....are you and your niece still on the outs? It's a shame that she wasn't a better traveling companion for you, especially since it was on your dime.

Jodi said...

SLIN - Yes, dress arrived, and it's going back. A little obscene in the boobage. I think all i need is to nip the other one in the seam under my arms, and it will fit perfectly! I also have $30 in Kohl's cash to spend. Looking for a couple more shirts for Paul. Angie texted me and we are invited to the rehearsal dinner, which is also a sunset cruise. Nice casual for that one.

Jodi said...


MARY - Chicago doesn't scare me. lol!! And I hope you find us again ;)

BARB - How much longer is Chad staying? And your kitties are adorable! I hope your recovery is going well. Love u ♥

Mary/MI said...

You do know there is a new blog up...right :)