~ Boo! ~

 

Gotta Love the Irish

 by Dianne

Over a double Latte, the Greek mentions, 'We built the Parthenon you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.'

'Aye, and it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter solstices,' the Irishman replied.

'But it was the Greeks who gave birth to mathematics.'

'Granted, but it was the Irish who built the first timepieces.'

Knowing that he's about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: 'Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!'

'Aye! True enough, but it was the Irish who got women involved!'

My Back

 by Dianne

The Pharmacy

 by Dianne

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'

'Eight', the boy replied.

The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'

The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.'

'Oh really?' the pharmacist replied with a grin.

'Yes.' they boy said. 'We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those.'

Irish Birth Control

 by Dianne

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?'

She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a fertility candle for ye and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again. The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?'

She replied, 'Oh very well, Father!'

The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful! And how is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle!'

Logic cont.......

 by Dianne

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is watching.’

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples….'

Logic cont......

 by Dianne

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.’

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?’

A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.’