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Thursday, January 17, 2013

TO: GOD FROM: THE DOG

by Sac Barb


Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?






Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?



Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?



 Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.






Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .

9.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.




When I get to Heaven can I have my testicles back?   


 

35 comments:

Jodi said...

Awesome blog! Waving a wing from break :)

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Woof! That was from Seamus he liked the blog!

Just checking in, Jodi you look fabulous at first.

It has been a crazy few days, Eva has the flu, I broke that same damn tooth again last night.

The worst thing tho is one of my food bank friends husband passed away on Monday. He was my age. Cancer. That damn cancer again.

Sending hugs to everyone who needs them.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Congrats on being first. You look marvelous. I hope you are feeling as good as you look.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Thanks for the cute blog.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD Sorry that Eva has the flu. I sure hope you don't get it, too. :(

Just_Lin said...

I caught up on my sleep last night but I still resisted having to get up. Why does bed feel so good and so perfect in the morning? Anyway, I will have to really motivate myself to get out and do some kind of exercising today. It looks like it's in the high 50's right now but it's very breezy and that feels pretty chilly.

sacBarb said...

Happy Thong Thursday.

Jodi, Yay for being the early bird today.

Lynn, Oh no, poor Eva. I really hated it when my little ones got sick. I hope you don't get it too.

J/L, It has been soooo cold here I have not wanted to get out of my warm bed in the a.m. either. The nights have been in the 20s and we have stayed mostly in the 40s during the day. At least we haven't had wind.

sacBarb said...

RIP Dear Abby. She was 94 years old.

Jodi said...

LYNN - Please give your sweet girl a hug from me :)

Jodi said...

SLIN - Feeling ok, but got the other prescription today just to b safe.

Jodi said...

BARB - Gonna get frigid here early next week. Highs in the single digits and overnight lows below zero.....brrrrr! But thats winter in Wisconsin ;)

Jodi said...

Waiting for Jake's band concert to start. It may b the last one. He wants to drop band :(

Mary/MI said...

JusyLin, I can sympathies....
Here I am dragging my cold,lazy sorry ars into the nest lol!
I have zero,zip motivation today!
I need to go somewhere where there is warmth and sunshine, and "Turtle!" :)

SacBarb,I bout spit out my drink after reading the last line of the blog! Cute stuff!

LynnD, sorry about the tooth, not fun. Poor Eva. I h ope it doesn't last long.
Sad about your old co workers hubby, yes, Cancer sucks!!

Jodi, enjoy the concert! I quit band in my Jr year. I just had to many other irons in the fire.





Mary/MI said...

14 To keep it even :)

Dianne/Denver said...

Congrats getting first and prettiest today Jodi. You are our early bird on the nest. Hope that new prescription kills those bad germs. I finally talked my daughter into getting a flu shot for herself and the kids. Her lupus us acting up and she needs extra protection. Unfortuneately, my granddaughter is home today with a sore throat.

JL, I got rid of my awful highlites and am back to normal. I feel so much better now and look ten years younger!!!! ;)

Barb, we are having Spring weather here. Itbwrntbfrom -10 to 55 today. Crazy weather. Very cute blog. Thanks for sending it in for us.

Are you California glas getting excited about the upcoming game? We are still Monday morning quarterbacking our lost game. It takes us a long time to get over the agony of defeat.

Mary, are you packed yet? Won't be long until you are all on your way to vacation.

Gloria, if you're reading I sure hope you are feeling better. Thinking about you.

Lynn, I hope Eva gets better soon. Too many sick people.

Zona, how is your back?

JL and I are still over here on the rehab branch keeping the bubble around us do we won't get sick.


Just_Lin said...

Dianne I sure hope our bubble keeps protecting us. I did get a flu shot so hopefully if I get sick it won't be too bad. (knock on branch).

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Your temps are similar to ours. Fortunately, it wasn't too breezy today. When I took the dog for a walk on the levee, I didn't even have to wear my gloves. Before the walk, I went to Curves and did my exercises. After the walk, I took the dog to th local dog park so she could run. I'm not sure which of us is more tuckered out now.

Just_Lin said...

Mary Been keeping my eye on Hawaii weather. Been a lot of showers but I suppose that's normal. It's going to be hell on my product-laden hair. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Gloria I hope you are feeling much better now.

Dianne/Denver said...

Jl, get out your old plastic rain bonnet. It should keep your hair very pretty. You're welcome for thinking of it for you.

Mary/MI said...

JustLin, I am taking a couple of hats just in case. I tend to frizz up!!

How yah feeling Hodi???

Dianne, glad you are back to "Normal" LOL!

LynnD, Give Seamus a "woof woof" for me ^v^

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Maybe a shower cap. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Mary It crossed my mind that maybe I should bring a hat. What's worse: wet hairsprayed hair or wet hairsprayed hair after being smashed down with a hat? LOL

Mary/MI said...

JustLin, add to that "thinning hair" and you know how cute I will look!

We will be getting lake effect snow here for the next 7 days! I have so much going on next week before my trip!
I need to do my roots, then the Mr & I are having "Peripheral Arterial Disease"(PAD) screening It is $60 each, but it gives me a little peace of mind to know if my arteries are blocked!
Both are in Lansing 40 miles from home. I hate driving in snow, so I hope it doesn't accumulate to much!!

Just_Lin said...

Mary Oh, thinning hair. Yep, I have that, too.

Jodi said...

MARY - Oh, boy did he get a tongue lashing from his first band teacher!!! She told me "just say no"!!! I told him he had to stick it out for the rest of the year. I also asked him to try the Middle School marching band camp. Just once. He has decided he isn't going to play baseball this year (getting harder on his arm). Perfect....opens up a season for marching band!!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Thank you...and lmbo at your suggestion of an old school rain bonnet!! Totally made me smile and think of my Grandma Jacobson! After she died, we found one of those in EVERY ONE of her purses ♥

Jodi said...

MARY - Hanging in there. Even though I got it later in the afternoon, I was able to take 2 doses of my new meds before going to bed.

Jodi said...

SLIN - The rain come and goes...they call it "liquid sunshine"!!! I am so not a hat OR bonnet person. And you know this hairstyle takes a little product ;) No worries...we will all ROCK IT!!

Jodi said...

Just had to get up for a "pit stop" ;) Waving a wing as I head back to bed ♥

Dianne/Denver said...

I'm up for a pit stop to. Night

Jodi said...

Good morning DIANNE...well, I guess that would be nighty, night ♥

Jodi said...

BARB - Not only was the content of the blog cute, but all those cute dogs licking the screen....awesome!!

Jodi said...

Jumping in the shower soon....time to "hoist and rinse" ;) Meeting my nephew for breakfast one last time before he heads back to UW EauClaire next week!

Jodi said...

35!!!