Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Real Laws of Nature

by Dianne
Forget Newton and Galileo.

Here are the real laws of nature:


1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
4. Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor; by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.


Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Dianne all of those are true! LOL

Vancouver is rainy but I don't care. I am just enjoying some quiet time. :)

Waving a wing at all of you!

sacBarb said...

Dianne, These are sooooo true, especially Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. So many times I have gone to buy some product I really like only to find it has been discontinued. I have even called the number on the product package to ask why and I have never gotten a satisfactory (to me) answer.

I am up early because I have a lot to do today and also because my heater/AC is getting a check up to make sure the AC is ready for the hot summer weather. The technician should be here at 8:00.

Have a good day all.

Zona said...

DIANNE: Law of Result..absolutely true with anything that goes wrong on a can never recreate the problem if someone is watching..only when they walk away. The Supermarket Law? I don't ever change lines anymore..because the minute I do..dang if somebody doesn't need a price check. Every single one of these are true..great blog!

LYNN: I love rainy weather..and quiet time..I'm glad you're enjoying both. Have you been able to paint? :)

BARB: If they don't stop making the product you like..they'll stop making the parts you need to make it work!

I hope your A/C passed it's test and is ready to rock and roll! :D

Zona said...

BARB: What did you think of Smash? I loved it! I missed NCIS though..I went out with my sister and we didn't get home until it was half over. I guess I'll catch it today on On Demand. :)

sacBarb said...

Zona, I loved Smash and NCIS was really good too, but I had it figured out way before the end. The AC passed and no additional service needed. P.S. the tech was kinda hunky but he tripped and fell into the barberry bushes and I couldn't help laughing. Oops.

Lynn, You are our pretty early bird today. When I posted my comment the count was 0 and I thought I was first, but I see you beat me by a lot. Don't know why I didn't see your post. Anyway, I'm glad that you are having a nice time and relaxing. ;)

Dianne/Denver said...

Barb, quit trying to push into are still beautiful at second. :) glad you're furnace is good and doesn't need any work. Those things always runs into so much money.

I thought this blog was true too. I got a laugh out of some of the things.

Where are the Hawaii girls? I see them on FB but wonder if they need our bail money yet.

Zona, I haven't watched Smash yet but I recorded it. I was out last night. I also recorded Betty Whites bday party. I think she's funny. I don't like her weekly show though as I think it makes the older folk look silly and dumb. Whew...

Lynn, hope the rain stops soon but glad you are getting some quiet and rest. Enjoy yourself.

Had a dr appt today and that's about it. It's getting ready to snow here. I'm just watching Dr Phil ...boring day. Going to go help my daughter work tomorrow. She's still not feeling well at all

Lynn D said...

Afternoon Asters!

Had a lovely day. Went for a walk, it was bit nipply, well ok it was freaking cold and then I had a great time talking to Zona. Then I came back to my room and got some practice painting in.

Later I have to pick up Mr. Lynn D at his office and then some dinner.

Waving at all of you.

Dianne/Denver said...

Just watching yesterday's Ellen show and (sigh) Tim McGraw is on singing, interviewing and doing a skit. Just never get enough of that guy!!

Lynn, glad your painting and having fun. It's snowing hard here right now,,brr.

Dianne/Denver said...

Ellen asked Tim if he was wearing Ellen underwear she gives guests and he said, "no, his jeans were too tight for underwear". I like a man that is honest. :)

Just_Lin said...

LynnD You're looking especially pretty today. I think the Vancouver air is good for you.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb I'm glad your A/C is in good working order. You really need it living where you do. LOL @ the hunky guy falling in the bushes. I would have had to laugh, too.

Just_Lin said...

Zona We had a bit of wind some days on Oahu. I sure am glad they don't get haboobs. We did have a temporary tsunami warning, though.

Dianne/Denver said...

JL.....are you home? Did you have fun? Where are you? I've missed you

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Thanks for the blog today. They are all so very true.

Just_Lin said...

Yes, I'm home. My daughter and I got home tonight. We actually arrived an hour ahead of schedule. We must have had one hell of a tail wind. Had a great time with the other Hos. They are continuing to have fun and I am back in reality.

Dianne/Denver said...

Well, welcome home. Glad you had fun. It seems like you just left...probably to you too!!

Just_Lin said...

The week went by very fast.