Saturday, February 2, 2013

Red Skelton

by Dianne

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liner's' from the man who was known for his clean humor.


1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas ..

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

Can't you just hear him say all of these?

I love it. These were the good old days when humor
didn't have to start with a four letter word.
It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words,

"And May God Bless"
with a big smile on his face.


Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

No there were not any cuss words but the jokes were still at the expense of the wife. I know I am a party pooper but if you really read the context it is still perpetuated today. Notice no jokes about him being a less than perfect spouse. Okay off my soapbox.

Sounds the like The Hawaii 5-0 group is having a blast! Sounds fantastic! Loving the pictures on FB.

Getting packed this weekend, as I am heading to Vancouver with Mr. Lynn D next week.

Waving a wing at ya all!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Red was one of my Dad's fav comics!

Jodi said...

LYNN - Merrrrnin' Pooper ;) We r having a blast! Enjoy your trip next week :)

Zona said...

DI: My parents watched The Red Skelton Show. I remember a couple of his characters..Clem Kadiddlehopper..a name that made me giggle when I was a kid..and still makes me smile..and then there was a clown..I'd have to Google that name. Ok..did the speed of the internet! It was Freddy the Freeloader.

I sure can hear him saying everyone of those..and I can vouch for the dust on the TV one causing a little tiff..js.. :D

LYNN: 'ello gorgeous! Yay! I'm glad you're getting to go to Vancouver next week! Make sure to pack your artist supplies! :)

JODI: Looks like you guys are having a great time..more pics please!! :)

Lynn D said...

Zona I plan on taking them! :)

Jodi said...

TINA - I had a teriyaki and swiss burger for lunch and thought of u :)

Jodi said...

Today we went to Chinatown and visited TURTLE'S Mr. Yee. I've never had acupuncture before. I was hoping he could help me with my right leg. I stepped wonky off a curb at the airport on Wednesday, and it's been giving me fits on and off ever since. Hell getting old....°sigh°

Jodi said...

ZONA - Forgot my camera today, but snapped a few with my phone!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hey are you all doing? I'm a little grouchy tonight at Louis and its carrying over into my night.

Jodi, hope you knee gets better don't even know what old careful.

Lynn, have a good get away trip. Paint and relax...sounds like fun.

Zona, actually I was never crazy about Red Skelton. I was just kind of passing blogs on. My parents liked him a lot too and I'm really too young to remember most of him. :)

Dianne/Denver said...

Published before I was ready...I wanted to ask Barb what she was doing today? Our play from the other night got a not so great review in the paper today.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Don't b grouchy! What did he do?

Dianne/Denver said...


Mary/MI said...

Another quick fly-by! Took a little nap , now getting ready t go to dinner. We are doing Italian tonight :)
The acupuncture relaxed me wayyyy too much,, but after my nap I am ready to roll!!

I like Red S. I never minded his jokes about his wife anymore than I minded Phyllis Diller's jokes about Fang LOL!!!

Last night we almost needed the bail money! I guess we were just a tad rowdy out in the Lani at 1 am lol. We heard a loud tap on the door. It was security telling us to pipe down jeesh, party pooper. lol!!

Be good Dianne!
LynnD,enjoy your trip!
Waving at you Zona~~~~~~~

Mary/MI said...


Dianne/Denver said...

Hawaii gals...we can't use up all the bail money in the first couple of days. Behave...ho was the instigator outside last night?
Are you sure JL is ith you? Haven't heard a peep from her since she left.

Dianne/Denver said...

I mean haven't heard a hoot from her not a peep...getting my birds mixed up

Jodi said...

Will have to get a pic of us all together at dinner. I swear she is here DIANNE!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I texted u a pic!

We went out for Italian tonight, and r now having a nightcap at our condo :)