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Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Where Are Your Glasses?


by Dianne

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
 
“Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?” I asked.
 
Her talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation.
 
She was "only thinking of me", she said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the gals.​ 
  
I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
 
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.
 
She replied, "Are you nuts? You are 78 years old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
 
I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
 
She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Mom, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club." 
 
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again,” I said, “I really don't know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!"
 
The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted.
 
Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be ever so much fun.

46 comments:

Just_Lin said...

I haven't been doing anything useful for over a year now. Hmmmm.....

Mary/MI said...

LOL @ JL!! I wouldn't mind joining a club that catered to "cougars". All males waiting on me and seeing to my "every need". ;-)

We had two cold days here and my joints were totally stiff! It's amazing how my level of pain showed up! I walked anyway and I swear I almost called my son to pick me up because I had such a shooting pain in my knee!
Today is warmer and my walk was great! I really need to hole up someplace in the winter!! Geesh, this getting old sucks lol!

Jodi, glad you made it home safe and sound! I sure loved your pictures!

Dianne, I have been thinking about you and your teeth! I hope all is well!

Barb (formally known as Donna) how is your pain level? Are you weaning off the meds yet?

I need to get moving. The last two days had me lethargic! It's going to be a loooond winter!! I am going to hate the days getting dark earlier! I will have to get going a lot earlier in the day , which is NOT a Mary thing lol!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Ha!! I'm looking forward to messing with my kids ;)

Jodi said...

SLIN - I love that you have been dabbling with your art! To me that is useful!!

Jodi said...

MARY - It was kind of a shock to our system when we stepped off the plane in Chicago. Although after the 90* plus heat and humidity in Oahu and Kauai, it's kind of nice! Looks like it's going to get back into the 80's by this weekend. All the better to make the beer go down when Sam and I head to LOIS's for Depot Days! Woot woot!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi..well I lost 7.8 pounds at weight watchers. I've now decided to get a tooth pulled every week!!

Not much new here. Went to my brothers on the way home tonight. His MIL is here from Texas and I wanted to visit with her before she heads home this week. Her other daughter was on a trip and they weren't comfortable leaving her for two weeks so she's been here...very nice lady. She lives in Houston

Mary, you are good how you keep up.that walking.

JL, are you going to look into the parachute club? Better put your glasses on.

Can you believe next weekend is Labor Day already? My favorite season is around the corner. It's the months that end in "ber" !
We are going away to the mountains as we do every year for the holiday. Tammy and kids go too. I'll be glad to go,somewhere again.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I'm glad things went well for you at the dentist! And I had originally requested Wednesday off, but found out before I left that we have a shelf audit today. So I volunteered to come in yesterday from noon - 4 pm to scan the tags, but only if I didn't have to wear a uniform or have to run a register. I ended up staying until almost 6 pm. Oy!!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I guess we were posting at the same time!! I hope I didn't step on you. lol!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi Jodi, we were typing at the same time. What are Depot Days? Tell Lois hi for me. You barely got unpacked and time to pack again. When do you go back to work? Enjoy your time. Did Paul love Hawaii? Was he ready to come home or stay awhile longer? My uncle and aunt are going on a 17 day Hawaiian cruise in December. How fun.

Ok, just wanted to say hi. Off to bed.

Dianne/Denver said...

Now we were posting again at the same time. Lol

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Depot Days is Amboy's annual summer festival. I've attended it for the last 5 years. And yes, Paul enjoyed Hawaii. Especially the natural beauty of it! The day he got into the ocean for the first time was priceless!

Jodi said...

I best get prettied up for work! Have a great day HOoters 💚

Jodi said...

SLIN - We had a really good last day. While Paul was at an AA Meeting I went to Foodland and bought a lei. Tuesday was my friend Rhonda's mother's funeral and I knew we wouldn't be home in time to attend, so I wore the lei until we got up to Hanalei Bay and put it in the ocean in her memory. Originally Paul was going on a fishing trip that morning, but the weather got really wet, so that allowed us the opportunity to go to the north shore. We had a picnic lunch at the beach that wasn't far from where we stayed. The day before we had picked up pineapple, mango, and papaya at a fruit stand, and I had picked up spam musubi at a gas station on the north shore. Paul was brave and tried the spam musubi. He didn't care for it, but I liked that he tried. Our flight was over an hour late leaving Kauai due to all the rain on other islands. TURTLE met us at a place right outside the airport for a quick dinner. She was nice enough to cart our asses back. One at a time in her Miata!!!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi It seems you and Paul really did a lot during your time in Hawaii. Do you feel like you need a vacation after your vacation? LOL I'm so glad you had such a good time and how great that you got to meet up with Turtle, too.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Way to go on the weight loss. Too bad I don't have any more teeth to pull so I guess I have to lose weight the hard way. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Mary I keep thinking I should take the dog for a walk today but so far I haven't done it. I kind of frittered my time away today, I guess, which I do way too often. I got up early for no good reason. I did go out to breakfast and then hung around here waiting for the guy to come between 1:00 and 5:00 to measure for a new front door. He got here at about 1:15 so that was great.

Jodi said...

SLIN - I'm sure I'll need more of a vacation after hitting Depot Days with Sam this weekend. Ha!!! Amboy won't know what hit it ;)

Jodi said...

So, good news! Jake got his driver's license yesterday! He was super nervous, but he did it! The look on my boys' face was priceless.

Also a sad day. When I was at the DMV I got a text from my ex-boss Alex. It said "Jodi I need you". My heart dropped. I knew it wasn't going to be good. He had just broken up with his fiance Dustin. My heart is hurting for them both. Evidently Alex hasn't been truly happy in their relationship for the last year, and shit hit the fan yesterday. I have grown to love these boys and I just want both of them to be happy. They are taking a few days apart, and are going to talk again on Monday.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Congrats to your boy, Jake. He's growing up so fast. That's an exciting milestone for him.

I'm sorry about your friends, Alex and Dustin. Hopefully, they will work things out once all grievances are aired and the dust has settled.

Have fun at Depot Days and give Kim a hug for me.

Dianne/Denver said...

Jodi, yea for Jake. I can't believe he's that old either. I had three grandkids driving now. Two with Lerner permits and one with a license. Scares me to death

So sorry about your friends. I know how much you've enjoyed spending time with them. Hope it works out for the best.

JL, did you ever walk your dog? Thanks for the heads up on the flower picture. As soon as I posted it I noticed me in the mirror in my pjs...then I didn't know how to delete it. I figured it out pretty darn fast. I barely even know how to post a picture!!

Tammy and I were kind of planning our food for the mountain get away next weekend. Another couple are taking their trailer and going too. I guess we are going to have an Italian night. Ive been put in charge of dessert and wine. Tammy will get the wine for me as I have no clue. I'll be glad to go away for a couple of days.

No big weekend plans. Lunch with my girlfriend tomorrow and watch Bronco game tomorrow night against the 49ers. JL, your team has been here all week having scrimmages with my team. Sunday my friend Barb and I might go have lunch in the mountains. I had lunch with Barb Gordon the other day. She's getting anxious to be a grandma.

Mary and Barb, what are you two up too? Trouble?

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Good morning! Well aren't you up early! I hope you aren't sick. ;)

No, I didn't walk the dog. My back was bothering me too much. I really need to force myself to do it no matter what, rain or shine, back pain or not. It's a good thing I have Sue taking her out for good runs and adventures every Monday and Friday. At least she gets a good workout on those days. When she comes home she usually conks out for hours. I do have a large backyard so we play fetch and she chases the ball like her life depends on it. She's really good about bringing it back and dropping it at my feet.

Everything was wet this morning from moisture from fog. I guess it's better than nothing but doesn't do my trees a whole lot of good.

I know nothing about wine, either. I don't care for it except there is now a red wine that I like that Barb and I were introduced to when we were at Olive Garden.

Jodi said...

Waving a wing from the sticks! We had a blast last night at the beer garden. Burn n' Bush was great! Eventually made it home at 2 am. We just got back from watching the parade. Gonna take a nap and eat before heading back down tonight.

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Your weekend getaway sounds like fun! I think the Packers play tonight, too. I'll have to check my phone for updates on both games.

Jodi said...

SLIN - It was raining here this morning, and still overcast and chilly. I will definitely be putting my jeans and a sweater on for tonight's shenanigans.

Jodi said...

25!!

sacBarb said...

Happy Saturday HOoters! I can't believe August is almost over. Chad goes home on Sept. 8. I won't know how to act when I'm all by myself. Anyone want to come for a visit? :)

So, the doc said I can drive short distances so I drove to Sheenah's for my nail appointment with Chad in the car in case I had a problem. Luckily, it is only a mile from my house, but the first problem I had was backing out of the driveway because I am not supposed to twist. It's hard to see if any cars or people are coming behind the car if I can't twist around to check. So I guess I won't be driving until I get released from that restriction. You don't realize how many you twist, even doing little things (like wiping your butt, which has been a challenge LOL), until you aren't supposed to do it! Sorority Sharon lives very near me and she said if I need a ride somewhere she will take me. I may just have to call on her. I hate to ask the other Sharon now because she lives about 40 mminutes away.

sacBarb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sacBarb said...

The delete was mine. For some reason that last comment posted twice.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, I'm glad you didn't have any trouble with this last tooth extraction. Are you going to get a bridge or an implant? Your Labor Day trip sounds like fun.

sacBarb said...

J/L, Is it expensive to have Ursula go with Sue? She sure looks like she enjoys those outings.

sacBarb said...

Mary, Maybe you should think about being a snow bird and spend the winters in warmer climates! It will be good for your aches and pains!

sacBarb said...

Jodi, I really enjoyed the pics you posted from Hawaii, especially from Kauai. That is my fave island. Sharon and I want to go after I am released to travel, probably Jan. or Feb. We both have timeshare points we need to use, so we will probably stay two weeks. Every time I go to Kauai I take the riverboat tour to the Fern Grotto. It's really fun because they have entertainment on the boat, then we get out at the grotto for a while before going back to shore. Last time we took the sunset tour of the NaPali Coast. It was beautiful. Sharon has done snorkeling, but since I don't swim, I opted to stay back and relax and read in the sun. I'm glad you and Paul had a good time.

Just_Lin said...

Barb I also did the Fern Grotto tour and really enjoyed it. That's great that you will be able to go to the islands again at the beginning of the year.

That's a bummer about the twisting. It's kind of silly that the doc said you could drive if you can't look behind you to back up. Maybe you should ask him about that.

Ursula's outings are $25 each time, which is why she goes twice a week and not five. LOL When I had Ursula stay with Sue when I went away, it was $45/day plus another $15 on those days that included an outing.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi I don't know where you get all your energy. It makes me tired just reading about all that you do. LOL Give LoHo a hug for me.

Jodi said...

BARB - How fun to have a trip to look forward to! We did not do the Fern Grotto. Maybe next time! I have a blast in Oahu, but Kauai truly is my favorite, too!

Jodi said...

SLIN - I can truly say that I am pooped! It was great spending the weekend with LOIS, but I was ready to vome home. I probably traveled close to 9,000 miles this month, and that doesn't include all the driving we did on both islands.

Jodi said...

Good grief....come home! Lol! Just put my second load in the dryer. I best hit the hay!

Jodi said...

Actually, I just did the math....9,472 miles. And that doesn't include all the driving we did on both islands! WHEW!!!

Just_Lin said...

HOdi You have a right to be tired. Hey, you aren't washing and drying air, are you? LOL

Kauai is a more relaxing and laid back kind of place. Oahu has more of a night life, of course, and Maui has a little bit of night life, too. It's been quite a while since I was in Kauai. I'd like to go back. It's probably changed a bit.

Just_Lin said...

Today I actually watered the back yard. It's the first time I've watered it all summer. I did it by hand and it took me about an hour as I have a pretty large yard. My dog was constantly trying to chase and bite the water so she ended up soaked. Since that was the case, once I was finished watering the plants and what little is left of the grass, I gave the dog a bath. I had vacuumed and did some laundry earlier in the day so now I'm ready to relax and let my brain cells get killed off as I watch Bachelor in Paradise. LOL

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi..ok, you guys won't believe this....I was eating a chip
Last night and either broke or cracked my permanent bridge on the other side. I can barely eat. I had French toast and eggs today as I can only eat soft on the temp side. I'm so sick of this and it's so expensive too. I left a message for the dentist and will call when they open at 10am tomorrow. I don't know what she will do. It's only about a year old. I wonder if there's a warranty. Right now at 10:30pm...I'm hungry.

,y week consists of two dr appts and the dentist. I'm a real mess. At least we leave Friday for the mountains.

JL, looks like we beat you last night!! Pre season but hey..A win to us is a win. It was not a good game at all.

Barb, sounds like your twisting is an issue. Take care of yourself. Glad you have Sharon close by. I'm sure she doesn't mind helping u.

Jodi, sounds li,e you had a really fun weekend. Happy for you. You have a fun life!

Mary, are you busy?

Jodi said...

SLIN - Some areas in and area Lihue have really built up even from the 2 years since I had last been there. And no, I didn't wash and dry air. lol!!

Jodi said...

DIANNE - Oh, wow....sorry about your bridge. I hope it's an easy fix. Good luck with that! Packers really took a hit against the Eagles. They lost and Randall Cobb hurt his shoulder. OY!!!

Jodi said...

Best go hoist and rinse. Have a great day HOoters ♥

Jodi said...

45!!!

Just_Lin said...

New blog.