Mathematics-DUH!!!

by Shirley

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Now I know why some people are where they are!

~ F**kin' Perfect ~

by Tina~in_ut

Love this~

Street Pictures

by Zona

I think these are just so cool!

~ God Works In Mysterious Ways ~

by Tina~in_ut

Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.

The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.

That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke.

The tree went 'boing!' and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight.

The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, 'Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,' and went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, 'Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?'

She replied, 'You won't believe this,' and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, 'Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it.' She told the pastor, 'I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.'

Let's Face It

by Just Lin

I almost always go to bed with my make-up on. There, I've said it.

Most of you probably think that's really gross and perhaps it is but it's been this way with me ever since I started wearing make-up back in my teens. Once in a while, I try to mend my ways and scrub my face with soap and water before going to bed, but my commitment wanes as soon as I feel too tired to make the effort. I guess I'm just plain lazy, really. The only thing I do for my face is to put some moisturizer on it before applying my make-up in the morning.

Now that I'm in my 60's, it may be too late for me but I feel like I should really be doing more to try and keep my skin more youthful looking, diminish the appearance of wrinkles, etc., all those things the ads for skin care products tell us we should be doing. Every so often, I'll get inspired by one of those ads and go buy a rather pricey product with hopes of making my face look better, healthier, firmer. I'll try it for a little while but if I can't see any noticeable difference, I soon lose interest and stop using it and go back to my lazy ways.

Maybe I'm fooling myself but I don't think my skin looks too bad for my age. I don't know that my lack of attention has harmed it in any particular way. I think I could use some slight face lift surgery but that's not going to happen and I don't think any of the products on the shelves would be a replacement for that.

Do you have a skin care regime that you feel really works well? If so, I'd be willing to try it. Well, at least for a week or so. : )

The Dreaded Stairs

by Zona

Even with my bad knee..I think I'd try walking up these stairs instead of taking the escalator. It really does look like fun!

Chinese Feng Shui Horoscope

by Maureen

This is a Chinese Feng Shui horoscope. If you are honest this tells the truth. Write your answers on paper. To find your Feng Shui horoscope scroll down.

1. Which is your favourite color: Red, Black, Blue, Green or Yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, Black or White?
5. The name of a person that is the same sex as you?
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a Lake or the Ocean more?
9. Write down a Wish (a realistic one)


When you are done, scroll down.. Don't cheat!

Answers:

1. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love affection.
Yellow: You are a very happy person & give good advice to those who are down.

2. If your initial is between:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to live your life to the max & your love life is soon to bloom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future looks very bright.

3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr-Jun: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.
Jul-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your life will be great; you will find your soul mate.

4. If you choose:
Black: Your life is about to get better. You are more than ready for the change.
White: You have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person should be your Best Friend.

6. This is how many close friends you will have in your life time.

7. If you choose:
California : You like adventure.
Florida : You are a laid back person.

8. If you choose:
Lake : You are loyal to your friends and your lover. You are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.