by Tina~in_ut
My oldest is at that age where he wants to be treated like an adult, but he's definitely still a child. I worry about him a lot and hope the hubby and I have raised him right. Every so often he'll say something to make us question our parenting abilities.
He was an altar boy for 8 years at our church and not too long ago, as we left church, he told us that he hated it and there was no reason to go. He loves the sciences and started talking about proof and all that. I kept my cool, or tried to at least, and let the hubby speak. He told him that if he felt that way, then he didn't need to go to Catholic High School and we'd pull him out and put him in public school. It would sure save us a lot of money. He balked at that and didn't want to be taken out of the high school he loves. We told him that the only reason he was going there was for the religion. (not really true....the education is awesome, too!) He decided he better keep his mouth shut, but he got me thinking.
I know it's normal for teenagers and young adults in their early 20's to question the religion they were brought up with. I did and so did my hubby. Shoot...my hubby converted. I thought that I should at least hear him out and keep him away from my mother. She'd have a fit!
The next day, we went to another service. This same boy told us that he liked the music at the Newman Center better. (DeeDee, we were at the Cathedral and the choir was singing) You should have seen my eyes......totally bugged out! Was this the same boy? Was he really paying attention today?
A month later, I came home from shopping and my son was upstairs cleaning the bathrooms. He blasts his music when he cleans. I stopped in my tracks. He was playing a song that is sung at St. Catherine's (the Newman Center) every once in a while. I love the way they sing it. The original version is slow and usually played with just the piano. At our church, they have guitars and drums along with the piano. This is the closest I could find to the version we hear at church and to the one my son has on his iPod. Mind you, this kid listens to techno music and rap, so to hear this coming from him, it just blew me away~
My oldest is at that age where he wants to be treated like an adult, but he's definitely still a child. I worry about him a lot and hope the hubby and I have raised him right. Every so often he'll say something to make us question our parenting abilities.
He was an altar boy for 8 years at our church and not too long ago, as we left church, he told us that he hated it and there was no reason to go. He loves the sciences and started talking about proof and all that. I kept my cool, or tried to at least, and let the hubby speak. He told him that if he felt that way, then he didn't need to go to Catholic High School and we'd pull him out and put him in public school. It would sure save us a lot of money. He balked at that and didn't want to be taken out of the high school he loves. We told him that the only reason he was going there was for the religion. (not really true....the education is awesome, too!) He decided he better keep his mouth shut, but he got me thinking.
I know it's normal for teenagers and young adults in their early 20's to question the religion they were brought up with. I did and so did my hubby. Shoot...my hubby converted. I thought that I should at least hear him out and keep him away from my mother. She'd have a fit!
The next day, we went to another service. This same boy told us that he liked the music at the Newman Center better. (DeeDee, we were at the Cathedral and the choir was singing) You should have seen my eyes......totally bugged out! Was this the same boy? Was he really paying attention today?
A month later, I came home from shopping and my son was upstairs cleaning the bathrooms. He blasts his music when he cleans. I stopped in my tracks. He was playing a song that is sung at St. Catherine's (the Newman Center) every once in a while. I love the way they sing it. The original version is slow and usually played with just the piano. At our church, they have guitars and drums along with the piano. This is the closest I could find to the version we hear at church and to the one my son has on his iPod. Mind you, this kid listens to techno music and rap, so to hear this coming from him, it just blew me away~
69 comments:
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NO Freaking Way! I got first! Good Lord is everyone still alive??? Tina who tripped you racing to first? DeeDee was that you? If so Thank You and Muuuuwwwwah!
Tina your son is going through growing pains. Really we all go through them our whole lives. Your kids are going to question everything in their lives (just wait for college) it is normal and part of what I call our soul progressing.
What I think is great is that you reined yourself in and did not blow. To me you and hubby are doing a great job by letting him find his way without ridicule and put downs. Tho I did love your husbands approach of switching schools to! LOL
You do know that someday they may grow up and have very radical ideas that may be different from yours right? A couple of mine do and at times it drives me crazy but I still love them. Really who else will if not for me. LMAO
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I thought I should get my licks in before anyone is up and about!
Shirley first and ten! Mark that please! LOL
TINA - Great song....it's one of my favorites!! You were smart not to push....he will find his own way.
LYNN - Congrats on 1st and 10 (sounds like football!!).
I hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday!!
Good Morning!
TINA: You and your hubby have given your kids a wonderful foundation to grow on. Right now your oldest is doing what we all do once in a while..asking questions about the things he's learned so far. All that you and Mr T as parents, the church and school have taught him is still there..and always will be. I like the way Mr T handled the school situation..very clever! The song is great too..just loved it!
Great blog today TINA..thank you!
HI LYNN! Congrats on FIRST! Glad your licks are in! ;)
Good Morning JODI!
Dang, I haven't been to bed yet as I have been farming and selling myself in the market and it is almost 8AM and the sun is shining. and I still didn't get first.
I will read and listen later when my eyes are working better. Hey JODI.....GO BRONCOS BEAT THE RAIDERS!!!
TINA: You have so created a monster in me and farming
SHIRLEY: About that 24 hour cafe...I'm ready for those gingerbread pancakes real quick before sleepy time.
DEEDEE: You will just never get over that toaster, will you? I may get some money from our bail money and just get you a brand new one if the other owls agree.
J/L: When you said you were shaving your legs I figured it either had to be a pedicure or sex..why else?
MO: It was a nice brunch yesterday but really ...roasted brussell sprouts...none are good.
Ok...off to bed. I sound like ZONA!!
Good morning!
Happy Sunday!
Congrats today on 1st Lynn!
Tina I agree that kids find their way. I hated going to church and having to go to classes when I was young.
Once I didn't HAVE to go, I found I enjoyed church much more and even listened to what was being said, instead of impatiently waiting for the hour to pass.
Shirley, loved your Fall blog yesterday! I enjoy the fall, mostly because we aren't having such high temps.
This is our last weekend of 100 degrees, supposedly tomorrow will be "fall like".
Thank you for updating about your mom.
Mo I laughed when you described your cousin's stories that never happened. I bet it was funny, kinda sad too.
I'm doing my usual Sunday thing, laundry!
I've been having really bad hot flashes the past week, ugh! I had to ask our person at work who does the ordering if she can get a desk fan for me.
I would just go buy one, but any electronic device has to be approved by the engineering dept. as "SAFE". It is too much hassle, so I will hopefully get one through work.
Have a nice day everyone!
Good morning to Jodi, Zona and Dianne!
GO RAIDERS :)
G'night DIANNE..sweet farmin' dreams!
EBJ: YES! GO RAIDERS!! :D
Congrats on first Lynn!!
Tina: I love that song. I have a great version on my computer. IT is a beautiful song.
Good morning and happy Sunday to all.
LYNN...Yay! Freaking way! Good job on harvesting 1st...thru 10th!
JODI...are you off today? Still celebrating the Anniversary *wink wink*? Did Sam have homecoming last night?
ZONA...good morning! How is your eye today? Are you like Dianne and just going to bed or waking up? LOL!
DIANNE...don't knock a roasted brussel sprout until ya had one! If I farmed, I would plant them for you!!! Now GO TO BED, DARN IT!!
TINA...I think you and Mr. T have instilled the building blocks in your children to become awesome adults. Just the fact that your son knew he was safe to tell you how he felt about his feelings proves that. You let him know that he is able to look in all directions and he will find the right path.
Would you really want to have any of your kids pick a path only because it is the path YOU had decided on for them or pick the path THEY have passion for? Not just the religion they may decide to practice, but career-wise. I don't think you would, because you are a better mom then that. You would love them, unconditionally(unless T-Jr. told you she would NEVER scrapbook...then you can slap her!)
Diane, there are help groups for your problem.... Farming all night?
Tina; this blog hits close to home. People in the scientific community have trouble reconciling an omnipotent being that can't be proven to exist with the lessons that have been hammered into their heads.
I take particular interest in "miracles" that have been documented in religious texts. It comforts me to know that many of them have scientific explanations that were later discovered.
Wouldn't a man on the moon have been considered a miracle? And we see a miracle every day when we see bumble bees flying. In terms of physics, it's impossible. Yet I know it happens because I see it. A miracle. Maybe one day we'll understand, but today, a miracle.
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Good morning everyone!!
It is a beautiful fall day here in Illinois and I'm lovin it.
I have to go to a visitation later and I'm so not lovin that.
Your blog has me thinking in a hundred different directions this morning in regards to religion.
I think of myself and how I have never questioned my faith or church.
I think of my husband right now who started off Catholic, went to Lutheran, and now back to Catholic.
My friends who started off Catholic and now have went down different paths. None of my childhood friends are no longer practing catholics.
I think of people I know who roam from church to church searching for something...
I think of my uncle who was a mean/dsyfunctional man for most of his life. The he found the "light" and became deeply relgious. He then told my dad that is family is going to hell because they are catholic.
Now I'm thinking of my very dear friend whose mom's visitation I'm going to today who always says that she is a paegan (sp). We obviously do not have relgion in common. However, it never seems to be an issue in our friendship. I really can't imagine not being her friend. We have so much fun together and we both have a passion for teaching.
Holy Buckets, I'm doing too much thinking today!
Good morning all!!
Dianne.....I replaced that toaster with a DeLonghi....they don't make the one that was ruined any longer. But thanks for thinking of me...
Thats a cute blog and everything.....but heres the deal...
There is a book called "Have It Your Way" that was written for teenagers on how to handle your parents. I know because I found a copy of it in my sons room when he went away to college......
According to the book....if you test your parents by saying you hate church and if you bring up the science side of it all..and are threated with a high school change......you must immediately take action.....
1. Start quoting scripture when you would normally be using rap lingo.
2. Listen to religious music in place of your own around the house.
3. Start using religious cliche's like..."what would Jesus do" and "let go and let God"...
4. Always ask to say grace before meals.
It is important to remember to cease these activities before the holidays. You could end up with a new Bible for a Christmas gift or depending on how well you have done...a collar with a notch in it... and playing Joseph in the church nativity....or worse...there have been cases where due to lack of female participation that a young man has been cast in the role of Mary......ijs.....
Happy Sunday Owls.
I deposited Todd and Vicki at the airport. Their plane leaves in about 10 minutes. I miss the days when we would take visitors to the airport and stay with them until they boarded, then watch the plane fly off in the sky until we couldn't see it anymore.
Tina, Your son is just doing the normal questioning most everyone goes through growing up. I think you and the Mr. handled it perfectly. He knows he can come to you and tell you things without you wigging out. I found that usually, that's all they want - someone to listen to them without judging. Good job.
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Bonachichi, I imagine you made quite a hit at the auction if all you were wearing was a skirt and high heels. ijs
Lynn, You beat out Tina for first. She probably is in church praying for all of us. I sure could use the prayers.
The drugs are working and my toe feels better. Thanks for all the good wishes.
Waving to all the Owls. I hope you all have a great day.
Tina: Yikes! I'm just like your son! We were a church-going family until my late teens, and I hated it too, and stopped as soon as I got old enough to stand up to my Mom. It wasn't fun, or easy; I kind of broke my Mom's heart when I stopped going even to Christmas eve service with her. :(
Funny, though. As soon as I broke ranks, the rest of the kids did too. None of us attend church as adults, although one of my two sisters maintains a religious model of existence (or, if you will, believes in God and "something more").
Since then, I think my Mom has found some peace in the realization that she brought up three children who behave like Christians, even if we don't go to church.
Assuming there is a Christian-style God and a Christian-style heaven, that leaves the interesting issue of whether nonbelievers are allowed into heaven, if their overt behavior warrants it (if they treat other people in a manner consistent with Christian teaching and beliefs, etc.)
I think so. Remember that Anglican Catholic Church pastor I mentioned who I like to dialog with? In the next comment, I'll retrieve the rationale for that belief that I described on his blog (he obviously doesn't agree with me. In his opinion, either you believe in God and accept Christ as your savior or the kingdom of heaven is closed to you).
Meanwhile, LOL at Dee Dee!
Jennifer! How did the modeling go?
and Bonachichi..you too..how did the auction go?
OK, here it is:
Dear Dr Jones and the other commenters:
I read Dr. Jones' original blog with a great deal of interest. Although my family background is Anglican, and I am confirmed in the church, I long ago assumed the status of an apostate, with a rather relaxed, though atheistic, position on the existence of God.
To an atheist, the issue of whether God's love is conditional is, paradoxically, quite important. Do you remember what happens to the earnest young follower of the evil God Tash, in C.S. Lewis' The Last Battle? Despite worshipping a demon his whole life, he is nevertheless accepted by Aslan wholeheartedly into the kingdom of heaven because, although his words and deeds were committed in Another's name, those words and deeds were actually quite Christian in their content, and were therefore accepted at face value.
I like to think that if I live my life according to the Christian principles on which I was raised then, even if I don't acknowledge any particular religious entity, a deity who supports those principles will look on my life with favor at the end.
I must admit that I find the alternative, that one could live what an objective observer would consider a Christian life, but then be rejected because of a refusal to swear fealty while on this plain of existence, to be somewhat ridiculous. Surely, the Creator is not that vain, or that petty!
Okay, I'm so glad that I'm not the only one doing the heavy thinking this morning, so was Whabby!!:)
Bebbi- It all went fine. All the proceeds went to pets. Something called Happy Trails or Happy Tails, so I knew all you animal lovers would think that is neat.
I was so happy to get a 40% coupon!
Jennifer: I love talking religion... and science! One thing you mentioned... your uncle getting a particular flavor of religion which comes with the belief that everybody who doesn't share that flavor is going to hell... is the source of so much misery in the world today. That's one reason why I don't think God has any part of it.
But it raises another interesting issue! I think the actual intent of C.S. Lewis's parable of the earnest young warrior who worshipped Tash was that it doesn't matter what form of religion you have, as long as you have religious belief (and you act like a Christian).
The only atheist in the series, Susan, didn't fare so well. All the other children were allowed back into Narnia, and eventually heaven, but not her.
I have trouble with that. Why would entrance into the nice version of the afterlife be conditional on belief in a deity? Why would that get elevated above your behavior?
Omg~ DeeDee~ You take the prize...I read your post to the Mr~ He laughed....which is a good thing....since we are arguing~ I don't think I'm gonna let you read my blogs beforehand tho....gives you too much time to think of a response~
LynnD~ Congrats on first~ I'm back to work tomorrow.....so look out baby~
Bonachichi~ There are miracles everywhere~ Just the fact that my three kids and the hubby are still alive is proof!~
Di~ I've created a farming monster! I hope you don't get put in jail for prostituting urself~
Good afternoon Jodi, Zona, EBJ, Bebbi, Mo, Jennifer, SacBarb/Vicki, and Bear~
Ok..Good Morning again...it's 3:42PM here. I really did get up earlier because I couldn't miss kick off of the Bronco/Raider game.
Thanks to your team SACBARB,EBJ,ZONA..for giving us two turnovers right away. We really like teams that do that for us.
MO: I don't even think brussel sprouts sound good if they were chocolate..remember like that chocolate bacon at our fair?
TINA; I enjoyed reading your blog. I think/know from experience that your children will question so many things that you have taught them as they grow. I do agree with the others that it is great that he felt okay to tell you about it ....knowing how mom and dad are.... I think you have given your children a great foundation and will continue to do so and they will learn from it. I know we all "hope" our children will do as we want them to..but it doesn't usually quite turn out like that in any phase of their life all the time. We love them, pray for them and if all else fails...cross our fingers!
I cannot stay up like that again. I feel like my old young days after being out at a party all night. I am too old
SHIRLEY: Is it too late for gingerbread (fresh) pancakes? I am starving!!
Ok, half time over. Time to go back and finish watching the Broncos beat/slam/blast the Raiders.
MR Z and JODI; Hope you both have on your Bronco shirts. It's that time of year!!
LynnD Congrats on 1 thru 11!
Dianne OMG! Now you're selling yourself! Talk about fantasy role playing! And LOL @ my reasons to shave my leg. Now we know what prompts you to shave. ;)
EBJ How about one of those little hand held battery operated fans? Or would that be impracticle?
Tina I totally enjoyed the vid. I have often said that if I were to attend a church it would probably be a "black" church as they are so joyous about it. Don't worry about your son. You have raised a good boy and he will be a good man no matter what church he attends or if he attends none.
Bonach Just because something can't be proven does not mean it isn't true so I don't think we can use that argument. After all, in olden times if you were to say there were things so tiny that they couldn't be seen, called bacteria and viruses, you probably would have been called a witch or something.
Bear According to his book on Christianity that I am reading, C.S. Lewis did come to believe that it requires more of us than to just bumble our way through life trying to be a good person. That, in fact, there is a civil war going on between good and evil and that a stand needs to be made; a commitment to actively and deliberately be on the side of good. It is not enough to ride the fence. That is why we have free will, to give us the opportunity to choose which path we are going to take. Each choice we make moves us closer to one side or the other. It's something to think about. :)
Waving to Zona (hope your eye is better), Bebbi, MO, Jennifer, DeeDee, and SacBarb (glad your toe feels better).
ROFLMAO! I just realized that my comment to Dianne looks like a) I only have one leg, or b) I only shaved one leg. I do have two and I did shave them both.
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Shirley Please make a note of that! Thank you!
Getting ready to go to my sons for dinner. The game is over and I just wanted to say to ZONA,SACBARB and EBJ (in my best Joey voice) how ya' doin'? Ok, off to my sons.
I've been remiss~ Today is Shaun Cassidy's birthday! Happy Birthday, Shaun! I really should have picked and Shaun song~ :)~
....off to church~
Happy Birthday, Shaun
Just me checking in. Our Wedding dj gig last night went better than I expected. I was pooped all day today and think I need more time to "recoup" as I get older lol! I had the sweetest kids come up and ask (several times) for "I Kissed a Girl" and the cupid shuffle!
Tina, I guess I can't relate. My sons never confronted me with this, and as a child growing up I never questioned God's existence. It is just a part of who I am. I have no problem with people who don't believe, or hold their own beliefs. Unfortunately a few feel the need to tear at others beliefs to rationalize their own or lack there of. I don't feel I should have to continually defend my religion especially when a few group us all as "extremists. Make sense lol!
Tina, I have no doubt you and hubby handled it the best way you could. As adults your kids will find their way. It will be easier for them with the foundation you have given them. MUAH!!
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AMEN!!!
OMG..I felt like crap today.
wassup Bebbi?
Bebbi~ eat something~ I've been feeling kinda fuzzy for the past two days....and dizzy at times....i just want it to go away~
Mary~ i just love you~ you totally get me! mwah~
Tina: I have been eating all day...not sure if it is making me feel better or not. Not sure what's wrong! I slept, ate and lounged around until 6pm and had a terrible headache all day. Finally, finally, got up and exercised but still don't feel well.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day..or today actually..lol. I am heading to bed.
Night all...Sweet dreams.
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