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Thursday, February 28, 2013

THE NEW ALPHABET

by Dianne


A is for apple, and B is for boat, That used to be right, 

but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once 

said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
 
Now The Alphabet:
 
A's
for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest


pains, perhaps car-di-ac?

D
is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't


read that top line! F is for fluid retention, G is for gut 

droop, which I'd rather not mention.

H
high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with


scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't 

mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L 's for

libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget

what comes next. N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;

 O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P
for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill


and I'll be good as new! Qis for queasy, is it fatal or flu?  

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S
is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for


Tinnitus; bells in my ears! U is for urinary; troubles with

flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know..
 
W
for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and


what might be found. Yfor another year I'm left here behind,

 Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!
 

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed! 

8 comments:

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Well, I've got quite a few of those but not all, thank goodness. Thanks for sending in the blog even if it is kind of depressing to see how many of those are true for me.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, I can identify with many of those, especially the last sentence. It really can be depressing, even considering the alternative. Betty Davis said "getting old isn't for sissies" and she was right!

J/L, My memory hasn't completely gone. I can still remember when I didn't have any of those symptoms.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb You and I seem to be having a private party here today. I am thinking about what's for dinner. I went to Curves today and also took the dog for a walk. Don't know if I worked off any calories but I did work up an appetite.

Mary/MI said...

Dianne, too funny! I could make alphabet soup out of the many letters I have lol!!
The "U" should have been "use it or lose it" which is my motto!

Had my grays covered today. I always enjoy my hair/shopping day. Our roads were clear so I didn't have that to worry about. Our 7 day outlook is sunny & cold, but no precip! Yay!!

Mary/MI said...

I'm here Justlin! I am on my way to the basement to get on the machines. I was naughty and had an ice cream cone. Dam it was good lol!

Just_Lin said...

Mary Glad you enjoyed your cone. We all deserve a treat once in a while. I gained 4 lbs during my week in Hawaii and have finally gotten it back off. Why does it go on so quickly and off so slowly?

Mary/MI said...

Justlin, My Dr weighed me and I had gained 4# too lol!
I have lost that plus a # :)

Let's have a great March everyone!!!

Just_Lin said...

Sweet dreams to all HOoters, near and far.