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Thursday, April 7, 2011

~ Why did the chicken cross the road?...some celebrated answers ~

by Tina~in_ut

SARAH PALIN:  The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
      
 
BARACK OBAMA:  Let me be clear, the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change!  The chicken wanted change!Real change! Change he could believe in!
      
 
JOHN McCAIN:  My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
      
 
HILLARY CLINTON:  When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
      
 
GEORGE W. BUSH:  We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.  The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
      
 DICK CHENEY:  Where's my gun?

 
COLIN POWELL:  Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
      
 
BILL CLINTON:  I did not cross the road with that chicken.
      
 
AL GORE:  I invented the chicken.
      
 
JOHN KERRY:  Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
      
 
AL SHARPTON:  Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
      
 
DR. PHIL:  The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
      
 
OPRAH:  Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
      
 
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:  We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
      
 
NANCY GRACE:  That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
      
 
PAT BUCHANAN:  To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
      
 
MARTHA STEWART:  No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
      
 
DR SEUSS:  Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
      
 
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die in the rain, alone.
 
     
 JERRY FALWELL:
  Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
      
 
GRANDPA:  In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
      
 
BARBARA WALTERS:  Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.
      
 
ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
      
 
JOHN LENNON:  Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
      
 
BILL GATES:  I have just released eChicken2011, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2011.  This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
      
 
ALBERT EINSTEIN:  Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
 
     
 COLONEL SANDERS:
  Did I miss one?

38 comments:

DeeDee said...

BAM!!

Zona said...

Good Morning!!

TINA: I LOVED the Ernest Hemingway answer..omg..Col Sanders and Albert Einstein were good too. I'm surprised all the politicians didn't just deny that they knew anything about any chicken..lol..

That blog really made me smile this morning..thanks TINA!

BAM! back to J/LIN and DEEDEE!!

whabbear said...

BAM! back to Dee, Dee, Zona, and J/Lin!

See, Mary! Still not lurking! But I did think yesterday's discussion was interesting, particularly in light of the fact that I think the country would be better off if, far from cutting NASA's budget, Congress doubled it! LOL!

Zona said...

From 51:

BARB: My thongs are sitting right by the door..I just have to slip them on..ahhhh..perfect fit..you did mean flip-flops..didn't you? ;)

DIANNE: I thought the dinner was good..Mr Z wanted me to make him a hamburger instead..wouldn't even look at what I made!! How rude!! ;)

BEBBI: I could use some cute..I mean tasty ice cream right about now..mmmmm...ice cream for breakfast sounds good!! :D

MARY: What's a phosphate? Oh wait..I'll google it! :)

MO: I saw the weather forecast this morning..if they're right..it's going to be a beautiful day for you..yay!! :)

Mr Z starts his vacation in less than 24 hours..woohoo!!

Take care everyone..have a great day!

Zona said...

HI BEAR!! I know you have no personal reasons for that..right? LOL!! :D

Bebbilane said...

DeeDEEEeeee..nice Bam, most beautiful senorita!! :)

Tina: Those are so funny!!!! They really made me LOL and sound just like the people that said them too..roflmao..at the Oprah one...!!

Good morning DeeDee, Just Lin, Zona, and whabby!

Bebbilane said...

Zona, just push the button! :)

Bebbilane said...

LOL at the stocking and thongs comments in area 51, Dianne, wow, $150 !! They better be comfy!! :)

Yes, I remember the soda jerk... And, I secretly had the ice cream parlour installed for the spring/summer season. Figured we needed it after that long cold winter..nothing like ice cream in the Summer time!! :) So, now he's just standing back there with his long.......




Ice cream dipper... waiting to....



Scoop YOU Up......




a nice big cone or cup of creamy........



ICE CREAM...




*SCREAMMMMMMmMMMMmmMMMing*....


Oh gawd..that's hot.

DeeDee said...

Hi.

once again I have stitches in my gums...lol...and a LOT of swelling...but this shall pass...

the implants are in...posts and temporary teeth....now to heal...have a little gum reconstruction...perfect the teeth and replace with the permanent ones....

Dentist said I heal slowly he thinks because of my dibeetus...

Now I have to choose between the rubber...gold or polycarbonate teeth....the polycarb are bullet proof...

J/L...you have been on my mind after reading about the edema ur having trouble with....are you doing low low sodium?

Mary Jet Setter...the cruise pictures are beautiful...

Dianne...you have $150 stockings!!??

Now I am not at all cross....but I look long and hard for my avatars and try to make them "blog appropriate"....

So today I want some one to tell me what type chicken I have pictured today....I MEAN IT....this daily searching is not easy...

If I could just find a great one...like Roberts for example. There is something about that picture that just makes me stare at it....and...it reminds me of a great tv show that I loved..."3rd Rock From The Sun"...

but I haven't found "MY" avatar...so in the meantime...could we go back to the old way? ...you know...when I garnered a little extra attention for my daily selections....

Its also possible that I have taken too much pain medicine this morning....

sacBarb said...

Happy Thursday Owls.

Tina, Thanks for starting my day with a good laugh. I think Oprah was my fave, although I'd like to have eChicken2011 to balance my checkbook.

sacBarb said...

DeeDee, You look like Big Bird's lovely, more colorful relative today.

Zona, Yes, flip flops, of course.

Bear, That would mean job security for you, right?

Bebbi, ooohhhhh, that was so good! I haven't had...ice cream in such a loooong time.

J/L, I hope your edema is going away or whatever it's called when you don't have it anymore. :)

Have a good day everyone. I'm going to go check out what's on the other side of the road that is so interesting.

Tina~in_ut said...

DeeDee~ congrats on first~ Nice Silver Polish Chicken~

Thanks for the comments everyone~ I have to run to catch a flight~ bbl~

Bebbilane said...

DeeDee: I hope that things go well with your dental work..sounds kind of painful!! Also, I LOVED 3rd rock from the sun too..it was one of my favorite shows!!!!!

Bebbilane said...

Sacbarb...so glad you enjoyed it!! It's always nice to have some creammmyyyyyyyyyy.....delicious................lick your lips...........smooth...........eye appealing..............











Ice cream.

Bebbilane said...

Tina: Have a safe flight!!!! Have fun, wherever you are jetting off to.

Bebbilane said...

Zona: Mmm Ice cream for breakfast..nice! :)

Tina~in_ut said...

Bebbi~ I flew home~ .....and it's snowing~

Iteach~ I agree with both you AND Chichi~ There are teachers that I think should be fired and I tell my hubby that all the time.....and he agrees with one of the two!!! You really don't know what goes on when you are the good teacher doing her job and trying to teach these kids~ On the other hand.....some parents are pieces of rat crap! They don't help the kids.....they enable them.....and they don't support the teacher or the administration! It's horrid! I see what hubby has to deal with....and don't get me wrong....there are horrid administrators too (just not my hubby!) :D And I know ur a fabu teacher~ :D muah~

Maureen said...

If it is a Jewish chicken it crossed from the right side to the left side.

DEE DEE...my guess is a frightened chicken.

ZONA...partially right. Started out icky, but ended with sun and mid forties. Not too bad!

Heading home...bbl...

Maureen said...

geez...I shut this place down like a hot potato. Sorry

Mary/MI said...

MO!! I am here! Well for a few seconds anyway lol!
I have had a busy day. This cold slows me right down! I am on Dr Tina's otc drugs hoping they work....soon! I have a gazillion things to do Saturday. I need a clone of me (shuddup Tina). I have a hair apptmt 11:45,Wedding shower and Gr Son's college baseball game, both at 1:00 40 miles apart. I didn't know about the game until after I "late RSVPd" a couple days ago! Of course Gr Son over rides the shower.
I think I feel the Sandman creeping in... nite all

Just_Lin said...

DeeDee I know I'm supposed to do low low sodium but have trouble doing that as a routine way of life. I am trying really hard now with this edema which is much worse than my normal problem.

Just_Lin said...

I saw my doctor this morning and she is increasing my diuretc meds due to the increased edema. I have to do more blood work in a week to make sure this doesn't dry my kidneys out too much. Also, even though my test results have been really good so far, she wants me to have an echo-cardiogram on Tuesday to make real sure that I am not haveing heart failure. I guess it is good to be thorough.

Just_Lin said...

Sorry, I wasn't here earlier but I had a real busy day, starting with the doctor appointment. After that, I had to work for a while and run errands, then I took a friend out to dinner at a Brazilian steak house. Very delicious!

DeeDee said...

another day of this chicken shit??

Lynn D said...

Some chicken crossed the road in front of me and told me to check in at the nest. Hmmm may need to cut back on the meds.

Lynn D said...

J/L Take care of your self! (((Hugs)))

Jodi said...

TINA - Love John Lennon....peace ♥!!

SLIN - Take care of yourself!!

Jodi said...

ZONA - Enjoy MR. Z's vacation. Any big plans?

Just_Lin said...

HOdi and LynnD Thanks. I'm trying.

Just_Lin said...

DeeDee I guess you clucked in at first. Congrats.

Just_Lin said...

Tina Does this mean we ran out of blogs?

Mary/MI said...

Good afternoon everyone. Just checking in on the chicken lol!
Justlin, follow Drs orders! My Mother loved her salt! I remember even when she was hospitalized I would find a salt shaker hidden in her purse or hosp. drawer! She had high BP,diabetes, enlarged heart,& bad kidneys. Olease take care of your self. My Mother died way too young!

Just_Lin said...

DeeDee2 How's your mouth today? Better I hope. Are you still drugged up?

Just_Lin said...

Mary I didn't add salt to anything yesterday but I did have bacon at breakfast and olives at dinner. Hmmmmmmm....

Tina~in_ut said...

oops~

Dianne/Denver said...

Looks like we all need to send some blogs in

Tina~in_ut said...

good God people.....new blog is up~

DeeDee said...

°