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Monday, October 3, 2011

Irish Diet

 by Zona
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days, then skip a day. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.'
 
When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!
 
'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

The Irishman nodded. 'I'll tell you though, Doctor, I thought I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'

'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.

'No, from the f****** skipping!'

36 comments:

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Splat!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Ha! Ha! That was funny Zona! Thanks for the chuckles!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

I'm going back to bed now.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

I'm up now! Where is everyone?

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

BTW Shirley you are very very very pretty today!

Jodi said...

Goooooooooooooood afternoon SHIRLEY!!

ZONA - That was funny!! Should've worked that into my cleanse ;)

Jodi said...

Gotta fly....have my final date with a tanning machine ♥

sacBarb said...

Zona, LMAO. Maybe I should start skipping...one way or the other!

Shirley, Here I am. I have to say, I am really worried about your splatting! I do hope you are OK.

Hey Jodi, Are you tanning so you won't blind anyone from the glare when you are in Hawaii or are you just trying to get a head start?

Going to get the gray washed out of my hair today. Have a good day everyone.

Just_Lin said...

Shirley My, God, Woman! You sure know how to make an entrance. You do splat in the most attractive way, though. Are you working on some Halloween surprises for us?

Just_Lin said...

Zona That was a good one! I def need to try that diet. Maybe I'd actually get some results. Probably blow my knees out, but, whatever...

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Be careful in that tanning salon. Good thinking, to get a little color before going over there, though. You wouldn't want to be the invisible woman on the white beaches. LOL

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb How's the weather up there? fall is falling here. My deck is covered with reddish fronds? leaves? whatever they are? from my redwood tree and it is sprinkling slightly today.

Just_Lin said...

Where are the Hatfields and McCoys? I mean Tina and Michael?

Michael said...

This Hatfield is watching a live feed to the courtroom in Perugia. They are about to read the verdict on overturning Amandas conviction. Very high drama...I hope they release her....

Michael said...

Raffaele Sollecito and Amanda Knox are free....

incredibly moving scene...

Michael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tina~in_ut said...

J/L~ Well I guess that makes me a McCoy~ .....they're Republican....so I guess that's good~ AND......the Hatfields started it anyway~ I was chopping....the gurl needs white Keds for the musical.....and thought that buying an 8 1/2 even tho she wears a 7 1/2 - 8 was okay...so I've been searching the other Target's looking for the shoe.....IN THE RIGHT SIZE!!!! Third one was the charm~ Also ran into an old friend at the grocery store....called her a whore....made her laugh....the usual~ :D

Shirley~ beautimous today~

Jodi~ I like going to Hawaii looking like a beached whale....and somehow...I come home looking the same way~ :)~

Sackie~ wash the gray outta mine, too please~

Zona~ this joke made me laugh....i didn't see that coming~ Thanks for sending it in~

Miguelito~ I keep getting e-mails from Nancy who is still in her sick bed about Knox~ I'd tell her to shuddup and that I already know, but then she'd never stop~

Jodi said...

BARB - Just want to take the edge (glare) off ;)

SLIN - Kinda a head start...and I SERIOUSLY don't think I'd be invisible....tan or not!! lol!!

MICHAEL - Had too many loose ends to tie up today to watch the outcome...I guess I'll have to watch it online.

TINA - WRONG...I would NEVER confuse you for a beached whale ♥ Luv u 4....and thanks for the recommendations!!

Jodi said...

ZONA - I am soooooooooo looking forward to FINALLY meeting you!!

Jodi said...

Not sure if I'll have time to peek in tomorrow before I leave. I have to drive down to LOIS'S house after work. Pick her skeezer ass up and then we are staying over at her SIL's house. She GETS to take us to O'HARE at 3:30 am!!

Be good while I'm gone...I'll be posting on FB for sure ♥

Tina~in_ut said...

wipes away tears.....okay...who watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition last night? ....just finished watching it....they built a house for Jessica and her family...I used to work with her...and yes....she's THAT positive....ALL THE TIME!!!!~ love that girl~

Zona said...

Hi Guys!!

Thanks for all the comments today..I'm glad this joke made you laugh!!

SHIRLEY: You look mahhhvellous in First today!

JODI: Can't wait to meet you squared..lol..Just remember..I'm very shy..and very quiet.. :)

BARB: I seem to do a lot of skipping..and all by accident..I call it 'avoiding falling on my face'... ;D

J/LIN: I tried to do jumping jacks the other day..plain ol' simple jumping jacks..first I couldn't coordinate the jump with the jack..and the pain in my knees..omg..Nope..can't do those things anymore..

MICHAEL: I was really glad to read about Amanda Knox..I'd be out of that country in a heartbeat if I was her..

TINA: Sometimes a punchline just catches you off guard..this one was like that for me too..of course the email I received about it was even funnier.. ;D

Now where is BEAR? I know he'd like this joke!!

The weather is finally changing here..for a week anyway..the weather guy said it was going to be 'cold' on Thursday..in the 60's..yay!

Have a good night everyone!!

Zona said...

JODI: Safe travels tomorrow!! See you soon..man I love being able to say that!! :D

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Save travels and give Lois a hug and a squeeze on the tush. She'll like that. Give Zona a hug, too, and a pinch on the butt.

Just_Lin said...

Zona Watch out for Jodi. ;)

Just_Lin said...

That was safe not save. Geez.

Just_Lin said...

Michael I hadn't heard the result of the Knox appeal yet. I am so glad to hear it. It sure appeared that she and Sollecito were totally railroaded. Someone certainly killed that poor girl and I hope they find out who.

Michael said...

J/L...

Rudy Hermann Guede did it. He was the first convicted and got a lighter sentence for testimony that should have cleared Amanda and her boyfriend. But he double crossed them and got 16 years off his sentence by claiming they did it.

whabbear said...

Zona: I did like the joke! Thanks! LOL!

Anybody else watching Ken Burn's Prohibition on PBS? Captivating history!

Jodi said...

ZONA - A little over 24 hours now....wheeeeeeee!!! You won't be quiet and shy for long....you'll be too busy laughing!!

TINA - I didn't watch it....I'll have to look for it OnDemand after I get back!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - My PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAASURE ;) Hey!! Watch out for what?!!? *she says batting her eyes* ♥

Jodi said...

WHABBY - Love me a good Ken Burns documentary!! Again, something I'll have to watch online after I get back!!

Just_Lin said...

Michael Thanks for the info. I think I read that a while back but forgot.

Just_Lin said...

Bear No, darn! I totally forgot about it. He does such good stuff, too. I was absolutely enthralled with his Civil War series.

Just_Lin said...

HOdi Be good! LOL

Just_Lin said...

Sweet dreams, HOoters!