Thursday, October 13, 2011

~ Make Women Happy – Demerit Point System Explained ~

by Tina~in_ut

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:


* You make the bed ….. +1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows ….. 0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets ….. -1
* You leave the toilet seat up ….. -5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty ….. 0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex ….. -1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom ….. -2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings ….. +5
* in the snow ….. +8
* but return with beer ….. -5
* and no liners ….. -25
* You check out a suspicious noise at night ….. 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing ….. 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something ….. +5
* You pummel it with a six iron ….. +10
* It’s her cat ….. -40


* You take her out to dinner ….. 0
* You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar ….. +1
* Okay, it is a sports bar ….. -2
* And it’s all-you-can-eat night ….. -3
* It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team ….. -10


* Go with a pal ….. +5
* The pal is happily married ….. +4
* Or frighteningly single ….. -7
* And he drives a Ferrari ….. -10
* With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED) ….. -15


* You take her to a movie ….. +2
* You take her to a movie she likes ….. +4
* You take her to a movie you hate ….. +6
* You take her to a movie you like ….. -2
* It’s called Death Cop 3 ….. -3
* Which features Cyborgs that eat humans ….. -9
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans ….. -15


* You develop a noticeable pot belly ….. -15
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and exercise to get rid of it ….. +10
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts ….. -30
* You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” ….. -800

THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)

She asks, “Do I look fat?”
* You hesitate in responding ….. -10
* You reply, “Where?” ….. -35
* Any other response ….. -20


When she wants to talk about a problem:
* You listen, displaying a concerned expression ….. 0
* You listen, for over 30 minutes ….. +5
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV ….. +100
* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep ….. -200


Shirley(NCC-1701) said...


I'm beautiful again!!!!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Husbands are doomed from the start! You know they are going to put their foot in their's just the nature of the beast!

Very funny blog Tina! Thanks for the chuckles!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Come on out! I won't bite...unless you ask me to!

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi Shirley ----I behaved

Dianne/Denver said...

Very fun blog---thanks Tina. So much of it is true

Why the heck am I awake this early?

Zona said...

Good Morning!!

TINA: Perfect!! That was great..especially...well..ALL of it!! :D

SHIRLEY: You're always beautiful..ijs..

DI: Maybe you shouldn't have eaten that licorice after all.. ;D

Gotta go forage for a DC! Have a good day everyone! :)

Tina~in_ut said...

Glad u like it........thought it was funny.....

Shirley~ ur hot

Di~ ur so well behaved.....

Zona~ mwah~

Just_Lin said...

I'm sitting here in a salon with dye on my head.

Just_Lin said...

How pretty you are! No biting, please.

Just_Lin said...

Did you notice how well my 49ers are doing? 4-1

Just_Lin said...

Home from the hairdressers. Ha! I see I didn't get individual names posted correctly. Shirley and Dianner, the last two posts were directed at you, respectively.

Just_Lin said...

Zona I'll be foraging tonight at Olive Garden. Woo hoo!

Just_Lin said...

Tina I especially liked the one about if she looks fat. No way to win that one.

Just_Lin said...

Well, this is silly. Where is everyone?

I hope you all had a good day. I went to dinner with a friend to the olive GArden. Had their grilled Mediterranean chicken. Delicious!