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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Secrets in my Head

And so here I am again, putting my thoughts into words. At times they comfort me and give me peace. Yet there are times where they scare me. Especially when I step back and read the words, I think "do I really feel that way" "did I really write that". When you make the choice to put your feelings into words there is no denying them, as they stare at you with a fierceness. Sometimes one is so much better off just thinking the words, because you can hide your true feelings, its like having a secret with yourself. But truly are you better off keeping your feelings in, to perhaps have them stir? For me, I would rather write the words, but I know for some they would differ. I will say this tho, there have been many times that I did not want to write the words, because the validation would be to much to handle. So I keep them in my head in hopes my head does not burst. So far I have been lucky, my head is intact (unlike our Birdee). Which brings me to my first thought as I wrote this blog. Do I write a blog about my thoughts, or do I just keep it a secret between me, myself and I?

I just answered my question....

74 comments:

Bebbilane said...

YES! nanan neener neen

Bebbilane said...

Nice blog Carol, I tend to keep the secrets in my head. I found that writing them down is scary sometimes. I try to change that.

Tina~in_ut said...

Damn!!! I"ve been refreshing all morning! Congrats on first damn bebbi!!!!

Lois Lane said...

I leave the 69 door wide open in Area 51, and none of your hos take it?!?!??!?

*shakes pimp head in disappointment in your general direction*

Bad hos!

Tina~in_ut said...

Lol. Carol, I told my hubby a secret the other day. Should have kept it to myself. Lol. He thinks I'm on crack now.

bonachichi said...

Poor Tina. Yahoo Bebbi! Good morning to all who haven't yet arrived.

Carol, nice blog. Maybe all those secrets are crowding other good things in your head. Writing them down, then destroying them might feel nice. Nobody has to know.

bonachichi said...

Sorry LL, you popped in whilst I was typing. Good morning to you!

Lois Lane said...

Yay Bebbi #1 hooter!

I heart Carol's crypic head.

*SWOON*

Sorry about yesterday. My emotions some times get the best of me.

*knocks over all owls like a stack of domino hos one on top of each other*

Have a great day everyone!

Lois Lane said...

*comes back in to help Lani up*

Sorry, I forgot about that fly kicking your ass. Hope your back feels better!!!

night.owls.sb said...

LL...

This Ho.. certainly took it.. Thanks!

night.owls.sb said...

And btw..

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

;O)

night.owls.sb said...

Bebbi...

Happy 1... fun!

Tina...

Go to the beach.. and get a tan just like Birdee.. :O)

night.owls.sb said...

LL..

Yes.. it is a cryptic head.. glad you like the craziness that lives in it.. :O)

night.owls.sb said...

Tina..

I think your hubby as known all along that you are on crack.. btw,
didn't he run away from home?

night.owls.sb said...

Bonacci..

I never thought of that.. maybe I will try it.. if you ever see a massive fire on FOX about a NJ fire.. that would be me..

night.owls.sb said...

Everyone have a great day..

:O)

night.owls.sb said...

The QOTD.. J/L picked.. cracks me up!

Zona said...

Good Morning!

CAROL: I'm always questioning what a write..does it make sense..did I really mean to say that..I second guess myself all the time. Someone once told me though..if you're going write it..be prepared to live with it..so that's what I try to do now. I think there are a few people that can attest to the fact that I'm not always successful at hitting 'publish' without worrying..but I do try.

As for hiding my true feelings..nope..never have been able to do that. I sometimes wish I could though. I really do.

Zona said...

BEBBI: Congrats on FIRST!

TINA: Well...everyone else is on crack..don't you think it's time you joined us? ;)

BONACHI: It's kind of like typing out an email..and hitting delete instead of send..it really does make you feel better..as long as you don't hit the wrong key..ijs.. ;)

LL/NN: Just be sure when you knock us over that I'm at the end so no one gets smooshed... ;)

CAROL: Congrats on getting 69..I didn't look..just took your word for it.. ;)

MO: Help...wink overload.. ;) ;)

Zona said...

awwww...

Zona said...

what...

Zona said...

the..

Zona said...

heck... 25!!

Zona said...

SHIRLEY: Another notch on the wall please.. :D

goldie said...

Good Morning Hooters!

congrats on 1st Bebbi.

Is it safe to come in or is Lois still knocking over everyone?

Carol, what seemed like a simple question to me became more complex as I thought about it.

I can keep all my secrets in well I also can keep someone elses secret. To a fault sometimes. It all depends on the the issues for me.

If you hurt someone I love, or you are hurtfull to something or someone that is important to me- well then I let it loose.

I have never, ever had a jopurnal and will not. I keep it in my head or talk about it. I never want something to come back and bite me in the ass or hurt someone later on if they should find or read those journals. I know lots of people who say it is catharic to write and have the words on paper-me not so much.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Congrats on first Bebbi! You squeezed Tina out! LOL

Carol funny you and I seem to be going through similar things at the moment. I have been struggling with many thoughts lately. Some I thought I had forgotten or moved passed or just pushed down. They have been coming back like a freight train on the tracks and I am just standing there. Don't know what to do and trying to find a way to lay some to rest.

I sometimes think I think to much and then I think I am shutting down the thinking and then it reminds me I need to think some things through and then I look for my thinking hat and later I think I will toss said hat into the fire.

I am worn out by thinking.

Birdee said...

Oh Lordy!!!! you all don't want to know what goes on in my mind or what come's out of my mouth.....scary, very scary!!! ;o)

Right now, it's being directed at Comcrap!!!

Waving at you all!

Tina~in_ut said...

shit.....so i told hubby about the blog and what i wrote.....and he now wants to know all my other secrets!!!! I had to scream "You can't handle my secrets!!!"

lol.....we went shopping cuz the weather is crummy today.....met a REALLY nice lady named Sarah~ She wants me to move here cuz she says we'd be friends......don't worry all.....I told her I'm really a bitch! took her another 10 min, but she finally saw it!!!

We are at best buy....hubby forgot his power cord for his laptop and it's killing ME not having too much access to a computer~

Tina~in_ut said...

oh......and NN/LL~ I can see you are leaving me notes at face book (see them in my email) but can't respond......but thank you (the first one) and DAMN (for the second one!!!)

Bebbilane said...

Thanks for all the congrats on first. It's been a while for me.

Wow, Tina, Damn x 2?...can you say SORE LOSER? I will have to remember that when you beat me in bejeweled blitz and Damn you times two too.

bonachichi said...

GAK! Tina without a laptop? The world must be ending.

goldie said...

tina~ is Utah that bad that you never stay there???
Can't imagine you without a laptop.

Still working on gettin my encryption back on my work computer- this may kill me (or the IT guy working on it).

Also just found out #2 son is coming home for Christmas from the 17 thru the 27th!! YEAH
Now you want to know the kicker? He works for an airline that doesn't fly here- so we have to book him on one that does and it is frigging expensive!!!

Hope everyone is enjoying their evening. Nighty night!

Tina~in_ut said...

Goldie-I love to travel. What can I say? Can't ur kid fly standby on another airline?

Bebbi-lol. Double damn!!! I can't beat u at bejeweled this week. Can't play on this phone. Shit, I can barely type.

Bonachichi- ur a shit!! :D

Just_Lin said...

Good evening, HOoters!

Bebbi Congrats on first and especially on beating out Tina. ;)

Tina I hope you get better weather tomorrow. Why are you in FLA, anyway?

NN/LL You are too funny! Bad hos, indeed!


Bonach Hi, Ho! :)

Zona You're always so sweet, I don't know why you worry.

Goldie Yay, for #2 son making it home for Christmas! :)

LynnD I can think myself into circles, sometimes.

Birdee LOL @ Comcrap!

Carol Sometimes putting our feelings down on paper can be cathartic. I don't think I'd ever want to keep a journal, though. Poets, of course, were always putting their feelings down on paper, but usually disguising them in metaphors. Perhaps it helped them sort through their feelings and express their most private secrets without really exposing them in direct terms.

Tina~in_ut said...

J/L- hubby has a catholic principles conference in jacksonville. So of course I came with him. I'm not giving up a free trip!! Besides, I'm going to see a friend tomorrow. :D

bonachichi said...

Ura shit, Ima shit, we're all shit shit shits.

Mary/MI said...

An awful lot of shitting going on here! I will step carefully!

I am not a good writer. Words get tangled in my head. I tried to write about my growing up years a while back and kept getting things all out of order. Who ever reads it will think I was on crack while writing.
I wanted my sons and Grandchildren to have a glimpse into my childhood. You never know, someday they may wonder why Grandma/Mom was such a crazy woman lol! I did this because I didn't know much about my parents younger years. I always wondered what they were like and how things were in their day. Growing up I didn't think it was all that important, now I regret not asking them. I try not to write about negative stuff. I want them to know I had a fun side to me. I thought I had lost that part of me, but being in the nest with all you sweet and crazy gals has given it back to me and for that I thank you, even Tina lol!!
Thanks for making me feel young and fun. Oh dear, I wrote a novel. I guess I can write when I want to lol!
Good nite all! I have a Karaoke/DJ gig tomorrow nite. I will peek in, so be good ;-)

Nite sweet lurkers :)

Mary/MI said...

40!!

Just_Lin said...

Mary I agree that it would be overwhelming to write a whole autobiography. How about just writing short stories about events in your life, big ones or little ones? You know, like "Going to the Fair" or "My First Crush". Stuff like that.

Just_Lin said...

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Mary/MI said...

Justlin, it's not fair, you left me drooling over your avatar last night! Can I just bite your breast pleeze lol! Nite

Tina~in_ut said...

Mary-I thought what u wrote was such a cool idea........until a got to the part where u said "even tina" YOU BITCH!!!!!!

J/L-I like ur idea too

Tina~in_ut said...

Hmmmmmm.....remind me never to room with mary!!!!! Ouch!!!!

Mary/MI said...

Tina I have missed you!.... I can't believe I said that!

Mary/MI said...

Tina, you are on my time zone! What are you doing up girl?

Tina~in_ut said...

I can totally believe it!!!! Lol! Hey mary....I'm in bed, in the dark. And the mr is snoring in my ear. I feel like u!!!!

Just_Lin said...

Mary I can't believe you said that, either. LMBO!!!

Tina~in_ut said...

I was checking my email one more time

Just_Lin said...

I do NOT miss having some snoring next to me.

Tina~in_ut said...

Shut the ef up J/L

Just_Lin said...

Are you going for a 69 with Mr. T right there, none the wiser?

Tina~in_ut said...

Of course u don't jl. You do it all by urself!!!!

Just_Lin said...

If I was, I wouldn't know it.

Tina~in_ut said...

Oh my shit

Tina~in_ut said...

I can't march on this damn phone

Just_Lin said...

69

Just_Lin said...

69

Just_Lin said...

69

Just_Lin said...

69

Just_Lin said...

I got 69, you shit in bed, and Mr. T is snoring. Now that's what I call a party! LOL

Tina~in_ut said...

See

Just_Lin said...

I guess you don't have the right equipment for a 69. :)

Tina~in_ut said...

Okay. Now that I've successfully not gotten 69, I'm going to sleep!!! Goodnight jl and mary

Just_Lin said...

Sweet dreams!

Mary/MI said...

I picked a fine time to piss!!
You to are crazy!
Tina My Mr and yours could start a snoring contest. Mine would win for sure! He is under the influence too lol! I am regretting feeding him pinto beans for super!

Now I really ,really going to bed!!

Just_Lin said...

Good night, Mary! Sweet dreams.

Dianne/Denver said...

Night guys....I have been farming much too long tonight but I cleaned my desk while I did it so that was good and watched some TV in my office. I wonder when I get up from this computer if I will be able to walk.

Congrats J/L on your 49ers tonight. Not a huge score but glad you won especially against Chicago and Cutler!! 5 interceptions....wow...glad he got mad at us and left!!