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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Divorce vs Murder

by Michael

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,

"I'd like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law!

I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, 

"You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

17 comments:

iteach said...

Yeah me!

iteach said...

That is a good one!!

Bebbi said...

iteach! Wow, look how beautiful you are today..absolutly radiant! <3

That was hilarious..loved that one Michael... he he! :)

goldie said...

Yeah iteach! Good morning Bebbi.

Very funny Michael. And all kiddding aside, sorry you are in pain and hope you feel better soon.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Michael said...

I'm dying....

I may ignore docs order and call an ambulance today and get this show on the road....

If I eat....the pain is excruciating....if I don't eat...Blood sugar drops...

But I don't think they really do anything at the hospital in regard to surgery on the weekend....maybe I am wrong....

And what if I am eaten up with cancer...

Doctor: Yep...cancer all over the place.

Me: How long do I have to live?

Doctor: about 24 hours...

Me: how long would I have lived had you not discovered it?

Doctor: Oh...prolly another 30...40 years....

Have you ever notice that once they find the cancer...so many times ur a dead man....lol

Michael said...

How about those CANUCK FANS?

Dianne/Denver said...

Good Morning Everyone----ITEACH, you are extra lovely today and congrats on first~~

MICHAEL: I think you need to go into the ER and be checked out. That much pain doesn't sound normal from just some meds. Hope you get better but please don't let that go into the weekend. PS Cute blog

Up much too early for me....only about three hours sleep....I hate when that happens!~!

whabbear said...

Morning, everybody!

Michael, I agree... get this checked out! And the joke was hilarious!

But on to much more serious matters. That rioting last night in Vancouver was shocking. Horrible. A disgrace.

I've been trying to wrap my head around the carnage and try to make sense of it. Why did it happen? What social forces were afoot? And what does it mean for our future?

After deep thought, I think I have the answers. The riots were just a symptom. The cause of this massive social breakdown, which is just a precursor of things to come in Canada, is...

gay marriage.

Zona said...

Good Morning!

MICHAEL: That was a good one! I'm sorry you are in such pain..I agree with DI..get thee to a doctor asap!!

ITEACH: You look lovely this morning dahlink! :)

BEBBI: Hi Sunshine! :)

DIANNE: Only 3 hours of sleep? I thought you were all tucked in..did you get caught up in some night gaming? ;D

Hi GOLDIE!

iteach said...

Michael, when is the last time you have had a BM? Maybe it has been a while and it is causing a lot of pain. I would try some prune juice first before calling 911.

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Congrats to Iteach!!

Prescriptions can be deadly! :)

Goldie love that about the crown molding! I bet it looks fabulous.

J/L Thinking about you today.

Mimi go in and have it checked!! It sounds like gall bladder to me. That's an order.

Waving at Zona, Bebbi and Dianne!

My goal for today is to try to let go of some negative crap! Who wants to join me?

iteach said...

Me!!! I have some negative crap to let go of from "He that shall not be named".

On a happy note my sister found food to eat in China! Apparently they have a McDonalds there, so she is content. She will still come home weighing 98 pounds.

Bebbi said...

Lynn: Always into letting go of the negative. Have you ever tried meditation? It really helps me. I would suggest "Om Mani Padme Hum"...look it up on youtube..a great song to meditate to. And also just about anything by snatam kaur too. It really does help when I am stressed. Actually, I do it pretty regularly now.

Bebbi said...

Michael: If you are not feeling well, I would get that checked out too..no reason to be in pain.

And hello everyone! Whabby, iteach, Goldie, Lynn, Zona, Di and Michael..if I missed someone, I am sorry.

Have a great day!
Beverly

Tina~in_ut said...

Yay........no surgery for my mil......they gave her drugs instead.........but we had to drive to Hollywood to find this out.......after hanging around the hospital for a couple of hours.......which is across the street from the Scientology "church".....I feel a blog coming on~

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Evening Owls!

Your blog was funny Michael! Thanks for the chuckles!

I agree with everyone else Michael, you should go to the doctor and get checked out.

((((HUGS)))) everyone!

Good news Tina!

Michael said...

So MIL is still going to have that horn growing out of her forehead?