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Friday, June 10, 2011

Life Thoughts by Ducky

by Sac Barb


I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?'
 She hit me.

How come we choose from just  two people to run for  president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.


Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'


And remember: Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.         

56 comments:

Michael said...

KA-BOOM!!

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moaning~

Tina~in_ut said...

I see the rat made it to first this fine moaning~

SacBarb~ lovely blog....my favorite:

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.

Thanks for sending it~

Now back to bed~

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

I agree with Tina (I can't believe I typed that), the first one was my favorite! Thanks for the laughs this morning SacBarb! Glad your neck is feeling better.

Morning Michael and congrats on 1st!

Bebbi said...

Michael, you look absolutely stunning today. Love the Avator too..and good morning!

Good morning Tina..I hope you are having a good sleep! :)

Sacbarb: Those were funny!! :) Too fun!!! :)Glad you are feeling better. Good morning~!

Shirley: Good morning! :)

Bebbi said...

Barb: If you've seen that show then you probably saw the Louisville Hub! It's the main artery in the UPS air network! It is interesting and amazing. I am so glad you enjoyed it.

Bebbi said...

Oh, that was from Area 51, btw.

goldie said...

Good Morning Hooters!

Great blog SacBarb~my fav was the implants one too.

Michael, may I suggest a shave? Your looking a bit on the 'scruffy' side this morning. ijs :)

Hi Tina,Shirley and Bebbi. Hope everyone has a great day!

Michael said...

Hello ladies....Tina...simulates smile...glares at Shirley

What are you doing up this early Tina? Its unusual to say the least...did you poop the bed again?

Now this is my kinda blog....funnies with just enough politics to set off some good debate!! (fight fight..its the left and the right)

steps back and stares at Bebbi's outfit...

Whats that about honey?

Ms. Bebbi covered ALL her bases with me this morning....the greeting and the perfunctory compliments.... admittedly..she stumbled through it like she was falling down stairs BUT! ...she trumped Tina and Shirley....

Speaking of Trumped...Donald Trump is my new best friend...he got a new jet!!!! A Boeing 757 that has a state of the art cockpit and the custom interior is flawless!!

You know he usually screws things up with thrones and castle furniture and tons of gilt...but not this time...it is beautiful and very tastefully done....

$100 million smackers baby!!

if you would like to see my new best friends B757 just follow this link....

http://www.bornrich.com/entry/donald-trumps-new-100-million-private-luxury-jet-takes-to-the-skies/

Michael said...

Good Morning Goldie...

takes deep breath and tosses hair in that glam way that I have

Goldie Darling that is a dog...

I don't "do" scruffy. I maintain a crazy disheveled sort of appearance....security you know.

bing-boom-bong...

Bebbi said...

Michael: Thanks! :) I am not always so graceful, but what I lack in finesse I make up for in sincerety and heart. :) Have a great day. You do look mahhhvelous at first this morning! :)

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Michael you complained the other day that no one acknowledged the fact that you were 1st...well I did that. You didn't say HOW it was to be done!

**mumbles** kiss ass Bebbi!

Bebbi said...

he he Shirley! :)

iteach said...

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

That one was my favorite!!

Good morning everyone,it is cloudy and cool in the Land of Lincoln.

Bebbi said...

American Trucker Episode 10 on the Speed Channel. If any of you watch that, it will be about the UPS Hot Rod! It is the same one that I am at the Hot Rod Nationals with every year.. Only one of its kind! :) I am going to learn to start it this year. Only a few women have done it.

Michael said...

OMG SHIRLEY!!

Somehow I didn't see it.....a thousand pardons.....

Michael thinks...and at this delicate juncture too!! Just when we have recently renewed our vows...better watch your step Buster!!

goldie said...

A dog? Oh,I just thought you had let yourself go there a bit Michael.

Give Trump time, he can still goldplate and put a throne in that plane.

Michael said...

Hi iteah!

Today is going to be hotter than the devils back...here in the land of the Cadillac...

Tomorrow it may rain and get everything all wet....I'll have to put the top up on my shiny red Corvette....

and if we have the lightning...and it sets something a fire...I certainly hope its not a beautiful Jaguar!

The next day I hear the wind will blow...good thing I have my 6000lb Chevy Tahoe...

someone make it sssSTOP!!!!

Bebbi said...

LOL and good morning Goldie!

Good morning Iteach! :)Lucky you for cloudy and cool... ! :)

Michael said...

you are so right Goldie!! Ha hahahaha

He or his wife...Titty-Titty-Bang-Bang will screw it up!!



oh Iteah? got something for you here... c ...

Bebbi said...

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Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Well Michael open your eye man open your eye!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Afternoon Bebbi, Goldie and Iteach!

sacBarb said...

Happy Friday Owls.

My fave is "Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference." I also like the bumper sticker.

sacBarb said...

Bebbi, Yes it was Louisville. It is amazing how many packages they handle and that they get to the right place.

sacBarb said...

I also identify with "fat cells live forever"

sacBarb said...

Waving a wing to Michael (congrats on first), Tina, Shirley, Bebbi, Goldie, Iteach and all the other Owls. I hope everyone has a great day.

Just_Lin said...

Michael Congrats on first. You sure are looking stylish in your new shades.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Cute blog. I have to disagree with one, though. We do not have to swear on a Bible in court. Marlon Brando showed us all that. And, indeed, what would be the point if you are not of the Christian faith?

Just_Lin said...

Tina Did you get to sleep in a bit today? I sleep in almost every day.

Just_Lin said...

Shirley LOL @ open your eye.

Just_Lin said...

Goldie Seen any disrobing firemen lately? Ah, those were the days.

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi You definitely have sincerity and heart. I admire that about you.

Just_Lin said...

iteach One of the best parts of losing weight is that you acquire loose fitting clothing. I need to get some more of those.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb "Fat cells live forever". Isn't that the truth? My girlish figure sure didn't.

Just_Lin said...

Michael2 LOL @ Titty-titty-Bang-Bang.

Tina~in_ut said...

Oh J/L~ I woke up early with a migraine....musta been from the last call of the night~ Went back to bed and the youngest just called and woke me....migraine is mostly gone...just lingering...ugh~

What dog? I only see a RAT!!!~ Thought it was Miguelito~ :D (honey, I don't poop in my bed like you doo!)

Michael said...

and I guess MY call was the last call of the night!!

Migraine indeed! I'll give you a migraine you hussy!

MY BABY GIRL IS NOT A RAT!!!

Michael said...

and its that time!! Time for our "Song O the Day"....todays selection is "BUFFALO GALS"

Everybody Sing!!!

Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight,
Come out tonight, come out tonight.
Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight
And dance by the light of the moon.

As I was walking down the street,
Down the street, down the street,
A pretty little gal I chanced to meet,
Oh, she was fair to see.

Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight,
Come out tonight, come out tonight.
Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight
And dance by the light of the moon.

I stopped her and we had a talk,
Had a talk, had a talk,
Her feet took up the whole sidewalk
And left no room for me.

Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight,
Come out tonight, come out tonight.
Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight
And dance by the light of the moon.

I asked her if she'd have a dance,
Have a dance, have a dance,
I thought that I might have a chance
To shake a foot with her.

Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight,
Come out tonight, come out tonight.
Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight
And dance by the light of the moon.

I danced with a gal with a hole in her stockin',
And her heel kept a-knockin', and her toes kept a-rockin'
I danced with a gal with a hole in her stockin'
And we danced by the light of the moon.


Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight,
Come out tonight, come out tonight.
Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight
And dance by the light of the moon.

goldie said...

J/L- sad to say, no~but I am always on the lookout!

Tina~in_ut said...

Do you girls have any idea how nice it is to load blogs for over a week at once and still have some left over?! Thanks to everyone who sent them in. (just in case anyone is wondering...next week is NOT....and I repeat..NOT...Porn week!....mkay?!)

whabbear said...

Tina: But why not?

Tina~in_ut said...

Bear~ Cuz no one sent any porn in~ mkay?~

Just_Lin said...

Tina I hope your migraine is better now.

Just_Lin said...

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Just_Lin said...

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Just_Lin said...

Crap! Looks like I shut down the blog again.

iteach said...

J/L I was thinking this blog should change its name to Morning Glories instead of night owls. LOL

Just_Lin said...

iteach I know! What happened to us? We used to be up at all hours. I guess we've aged a lot in the last few years. What a bummer!

Dianne/Denver said...

I'm still up!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

I'm still up!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

It'd



Iteach. The day was pretty good