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Friday, June 17, 2011

Toilet Paper

by Shirley


I would like to talk to you today on a subject that we rarely talk about, butt (misspelling intended) is important to each and every one of us daily...toilet paper. It's something that I think a lot of us take for granted. You go to the bathroom, do your business, reach for the toilet paper and then leave (after flushing and washing your hands of course). So?...what's the big deal you ask? Quality. It's all in the quality.

About a couple months ago I went shopping after work. I had seen in the local flyer that there was toilet paper on sale for $2.99 (24 rolls), which is a great price. I didn't expect to see any left when I went shopping, but to my surprise, there it was. So I grabbed 2 packages. It wasn't a brand that I had bought before, but I thought "how bad can it be?" Ha! Ha! Ha!

First of all, it was only 1 ply. ONE FREAKIN' PLY!!!!! One ply toilet paper should be banned from the planet...BANNED!!!! Secondly, it felt like a paper napkin...you know, the cheap kind you buy at the $ store. Thirdly, when it gets wet, it disintegrates...poof...gone...and you're left with just your hand! I was not impressed, not at all!! Now I know why it was on sale! I had to use 4 times the amount I would normally use!

The moral of this story is, don't buy toilet paper that you have never used before! Stick to the brand that you know and love, even if it costs a bit more. Don't compromise your bathroom tissue! Take it from someone who learned the hard way.

25 comments:

Michael said...

BAMM!!

Michael said...

Truer words have never been spoken...

I stick with my "Charming" 2-ply mega roll...and a box of wet wipes for those stubborn "particles"...and for really tough jobs I keep a scrubber brush next to the throne...and in the remote case of a toilet paper "FAIL" I also keep a nail brush handy...

Michael said...

Tina...so the MIL didn't have surgery.

Will she always have that horn that grows out of her forehead now...

Like Lady GaGa says...."if you can grow it...SHOW IT!"

goldie said...

BAMM back at you.

Good Morning to all the who Hooters who fly in.

Now really, Shirley has 48 rolls of toilet paper. You do all understand that by this evening Owl Manor will be t-p'd? lol

Hope everyone has a great day and weekend!

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories,

My first thought on the blog was that Canadian TP looks just like American TP.

Congrats on first Mimi! You look well toothlessly radiant in your picture. Did you see the doctor yet???

Morning MS. Goldie!

Bebbi said...

Michael, look how radiant and lovely you look today! :)

Shirley: Amen to that!! I have to have the "better" brand. I like Cottonelle, Northern and Charmin. :)

Michael!! Roflmao..at the wet wipes and scrubber brush..goodness you have a wicked sense of humor!! :)


Goldie: I will not be t-ping the nest.. I learned my lesson the last time! :) he he...

Lynn: I hope your days are becoming more sunny!! Hugs

Yes, Michael, did you go to the doctor yet?

Going back to look why Tina's MIL didn't have surgery, must be in Area 51.

Good day to all who fly in later...

Michael said...

no medical yet....today I feel so much better.... still have abdominal tenderness and diarrhea (don't know where its coming from)

well I mean..I DO know where its coming from but all I have eaten was a sandwich yesterday about 4pm....

Just playing it by ear...will talk to doc today....

hospital stays are just so dreadful it is easy to put these things off....

Everyone who ORDERED me to the ER...well you have to understand...I am not discounting ur advice....its just with me....(some say I am bratty and immature..even spoiled) you kinda have to be in my face and force me into the car...

however I did get a text that said "GET YOUR ASS TO THE ER!" ...and I hadn't even talked about this with her....

it was from Jodi...and I have to admit...it kinda scared me...and I started to go...but then I remembered that she is in Wisconsin and couldn't "get me!"

That girl has power in her voice....I am still a little scared...

goldie said...

Michael,you should be afraid~very afraid. Jodi is the mother of 3, she knows how to use that voice!

iteach said...

Very good blog today Shirley!

As always we have to be very frugal with our school's budget, so we always have one ply tissue, so do not like it!

I love my soft two-ply and I love it when it is folded in a triangle for me.

iteach said...

10

iteach said...

True Story, in my mailbox today was a big coupon for Scott's Toliet Paper!! Is that a good brand?

Where is Mo, I miss her?

Dianne/Denver said...

Talked to JL and she said to tell everyone hi

Bebbi said...

Di: Tell her I said hi and I am praying for her and her mom! Hello to you too. :)

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Afternoon/evening Owls!

Congrats on 1st Michael and oh how handsome you look! **rolls eyes**

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Hi Goldie, Lynn D, Bebbi, Iteach, Dianne and Just Lin! (((HUGS))) to you and your mom Just Lin.

Hey Maureen how are you and Elaine doing? Check in please!

Carol get your ass in here too!

Birdie where is your feathered butt?

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Finally we had a morning without that moaning from Tina! Yay!!! I don't know how Janice puts up with her every day! You are a remarkable woman Janice!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Bebbi I didn't mention the brand of this TP cause I didn't know if you guys in the States have it, but it was White Swan. DON'T BUY IT!!! I usually buy Majesta or the Our Compliments kind at Sobeys. Both are two ply and soft but not too soft.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

**Acme Toilet Paper Company truck pull into the driveway of Owl Manor**

Over here guys!

**directs truck over by the three big weeping willow trees, near the gazebo**

You can pile the boxes right here. Thanks!

**2 hunky, shirtless guys wearing short shorts and an Acme hat unload 50 cases of toilet paper**

Bye!!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

LET THE FUN BEGIN!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

**opens the first box and starts throwing TP in the trees, over the cars, on the roof, at the fence, in the pool, over the garage, the gazebo, picnic tables, bicycles, motorcycles and boats**

30 boxes down and twenty to go!! This is fun!

**heads towards the house**

Michael said...

Michael and his friend little Bill are interrupted in bed by the noise and little Bill jumps up and goes to the window to check it out...little Bill turns back from the window with a TP ringer!!

ah...SHIRLEY!! I think you won a prize.....

Tina~in_ut said...

omg~ We went to visit my family today...and my dad gave me a laptop...just gave it to me~ yay~ total surprise.....happy father's day to me~ :D (so then I gave my dad a haircut!....don't ask how that turned out!) :)~

Jodi said...

OMG....SHIRLEY....lmbo!! Thats what my Dad would call John Wayne toilet paper. Rough and don't take no shit!!

Jodi said...

MICHAEL - Nice pic of TINA'S MIL ;) And you'd be wise to listen to GOLDIE!!

Waving a wing at LYNN, BEBBI, ITEACH & DIANNE :)

TINA - Well aren't you a little princess....enjoy ♥

Jodi said...

SHIRLEY - I stick with a few brands...CHARMIN BASIC, ANGEL SOFT or COTTENELLE (whatever one is on sale really)!!

Jodi said...

Today we are hopefully clearing the rest of Dad's house out. Only have the front bedroom, hall closet, and the attic to do. Best get showered and head over there...wouldn't want my brother saying I wasn't doing my part or late :/