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Friday, August 19, 2011

“He's My Brother” - This is Priceless

by Zona


Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and preceded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
 
"Eight", the boy replied.
 
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
 
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. 
They're for him. 
He's my brother.
He's four.
We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike.
Right now, he can't do either."

43 comments:

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moaning~

Tina~in_ut said...

Kathy~ that was cute~ thanks for sending it~

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Splat!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Morning Tina!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

That was cute Zona. Thanks for the morning chuckle!

Michael said...

well look whose here...Squirrely and Shirley...

good morning round pegs in square holes!

and now...please give it up and welcome to the stage Shirley and Tina!!!!

I'm a little bit country..

I'm a little bit rock and roll..

With a little bit of Memphis and Nashville and a little bit of Crazyville in my soul...

Don't know if thats good or bad..

But I know I love it so..

We're a little bit creepy..

and both a couple of ho's...!!!

thank yew...thank yew!!!!

Michael said...

and what a darling story about the boys and the menstruation products!!

you know the saying "everything's better with with a Kotex product on it!"

"if you've got toxic shock and ya know it!
"if you've got toxic shock and ya know it!
if you're septic and you know it then your blood work will surely show it...if your toxic and you know it clap your hands!!"

Dianne/Denver said...

Good Morning ....TINA: Are you still up or just up early? I have a feeling it is "still" up.

I have only slept for about three hours each the last two nights. I think I slept so much while I had that flu that I am all slept out. I sure feel better though.

Hi SHIRLEY; Are you still splatting all over y our branch? I'm not cleaning up....I mean it. Well, maybe for a gingerbread pancake I could be talked into it.

ZONA: Cute joke I can just hear the little kid telling the store guy the story.

Well, good morning to our little song bird MICHAEL!!! I need to drop by earlier more often to hear the moaning, singing and splatting going on in here.

Michael said...

heres my little tribute to Broadway from "Mame"....

Bosom Buddies

Vera and Mame:
[singing]
We'll always be bosom buddies,
Friends, sisters and pals;
We'll always be bosom buddies,
If life should reject you,
There's me to protect you.
Vera:
If I say that your tongue is vicious,
Mame:
If I call you uncouth;
Vera and Mame:
It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy
Will sit down and tell you the truth.
Vera:
[speaking]
Tho' now and again I'm aware that my candid opinion may sting,
Mame:
Tho' often my frank observation might scald;
I've been meanin' to tell you for years
You should keep your hair natural like mine.
Vera:
If I kept my hair natural like yours, I'd be bald.
[singing]
But darling,
Vera and Mame:
We'll always be dear companions,
Vera:
My crony,
Mame:
My mate;
Vera and Mame:
We'll always be harmonizing,
Vera:
Orphan Annie and Sandy,
Vera and Mame:
Like Amos and Andy.
Vera:
If I say that your sense of style's as far as off as your youth;
It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy
Will tell you the whole stinkin' truth.
Mame:
[speaking]
Each time that a critic has written, "Your voice is the voice of a frog!"
Straight to your side to defend you I rush;
You know that I'm there ev'ry time that the world makes and unkind
remark.
When they say "Vera Charles is the world's greatest lush!"
[singing]
It hurts me!
Vera:
And if I say your fangs are showing,
Mame, pull in your claws,
It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy
Will notice the obvious flaws!
Mame:
[speaking]
I feel it's my duty to tell you it's time to adjust to your age;
You try to be "Peg O' My Heart", when you're "Lady Macbeth."
Exactly how old are you, Vera? The truth!
Vera:
Well, how old do you think?
Mame:
I'd say somewhere in between forty and the death!
Vera and Mame:
[singing]
But sweetie,
Vera:
I'll always be Alice Toklas,
If you'll be Gertrude Stein.
And tho' I'll admit I've dished you,
I've gossiped and gloated,
But I'm so devoted.
Mame:
And if I say that sex and guts made you into a star,
It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy
Will tell you how rotten you are.
Vera and Mame:
Just turn your bosom buddy
For aid and affection,
For help and direction,
For loyalty, love and for sooth!
Remember that who else but a bosom buddy would get down and eat your old snatch!!

Lynn D said...

Morning glories!

That was cute and funny. I would guess some kid did this and then it turned into a joke. lol

Waving at Tina and Shirley,MeeMee and Dianne!

Dianne it seems the sleeping or not sleeping thing is going around. Yesterday had an off day because I was just so darn tired.

Tina~in_ut said...

Di~ I'm up early....the oldest brat is on his way to Seattle to visit friends.....so I've been watching to see if he makes his flight....and he did.....leaves in 15 min.....i've only had 4 hrs of sleep....so I'll probably dose again....but so far....I've been up for 2 hrs~

Shirley~ ur very pretty in second....not as gorgeous as me....but then again, who is~

Miguelito~ pot/kettle~ ijs~ and learn ALL the werds to the second song.....u left some out~

goldie said...

Good Moaning, Morning and Splat and Bamm to you all!

Very cute Kathy~love a morning chuckle.

Well isn't our little Michael in fine form today? Who knew he was such a fine musician?

Reminds me of a story~(something usually does) A certain male who shall remain nameless got a blister on his foot from new sandals. With no bandaids in our travel bag he snagged a panty liner and promptly cut it to size and smacked it over the blister and put his sandal back on.
Now that is a a guy who is confident in his manhood-LOL

Tina~in_ut said...

Di~ well i haven't dosed yet....and i haven't dozed either~ oh brother! And the kid hasn't left SLC yet....2 hr delay....wtc!!!~

Michael said...

he is probably in the bar...ijs...

Michael said...

hiccup....

Michael said...

you know how those airlines are....making people pee on the carpet and small children...prolly had to clean the plane....like they really do that...lol

They just go to the bar and wait for an hour and reboard while some sucker squishes into his/her/its seat...

Michael said...

did anyone get a look at Gerard Depardieu's willy?

Thats what I'm talking about...

J'entends son énorme! il est un homme puissant grands ...forte épaisseur ... de gros ballons....

sacBarb said...

Happy Friday Owls.

Zona, Very funny. I can imagine little boys in that situation, only not in a store. I have had some 'interesting' things similar to that happen with my boys.

My Hubby used to play baseball and softball in city leagues and one time after a game, the team and spouses/SO's all came over to our house. My two year old son came into the room wearing my Hubby's 'cup' as a mask and thought he was a big man. All I could say was, "ewwww" but everyone got a big laugh.

sacBarb said...

I am off to meet Sharon. We are going to see The Help, go to lunch and do some shopping at the Outlet stores. First I need to stop at the money wall and see if it will put out! BBL

Waving to all the Owls and hoping you all have a good day. ♥

Tinka said...

Good Afternoon Zona -That's a cute joke. Thanks for sharing.

Tinka said...

Good Afternoon moanin' Tina - Congrats on being first. That doesn't happen often does it?

Tinka said...

Good Afternoon Shirley - You were two minutes from being first. Set your clock for a slightly earlier time and you will beat moanin' Tina.

Tinka said...

Michael - Was your toxic shock song our song for the day? If it was you should have included "clap your hands" after the first two lines and I would have had fun singing it. My grade ones loved "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands". You always manage to stir up a memory for me. I like it.

Tinka said...

24

Tinka said...

25

Tinka said...

Dianne - I am happy to hear you are feeling better. You will sleep as soon as you have used up the extra sleep you stored during the flu.

Tinka said...

Michael - I should have read all the posts before I commented. You did give us our weekly song and a good one at that. Thanks for taking the time to type it.

Tinka said...

Lynn - I have days like that when I wander around the house in a daze because I haven't had a good night's sleep. With adequate sleep one feels like she/he can "take on the world".

Tinka said...

Goldie - I loved your "manhood" story. It's so true.

Tina~in_ut said...

OMG Tinka~ I just love you!!!! :D

Tinka said...

Tina - I thought when my kids were off on their own I could stop worrying about them. What a joke that is. My kids are now in their 40's (40, 43 and almost 46 and I still worry that everything is fine with them. I guess we do it until we take our last breath.

Tinka said...

Michael - I didn't see Gerard Depardieu's willy but I could translate your french so I get the idea.

Tinka said...

SacBarb - Loved your mask story too. The only similar story I can think of was during the year I taught grade seven. One of the boys went into the nurses room, found a box of Kotex and proceeded to lay one on top of each desk. This however was not an innocent little prank but one that caused a lot of embarrassment to the girls and also to the boys. I think that boy ended up in "Juvie".
Little kids in the primary grades were so much easier to teach.

Tinka said...

Update on Tia - I am still losing sleep over her. It is two weeks since her operation and the bottom half inch has still not healed. She wants to "get at it" and it's so hard to keep her away from the area. She is wearing a buster collar and a Halloween dragon outfit that covers the area and she still manages to reach it. Today the Vet gave me a prescription for sleeping pills for her to take every 8 hours and also spray that makes the area tastes bad. It seems to be working. It is because she is on steroids for her auto immune condition. They are slowing down the healing process. I will be so happy when she is normal again. It has kept me so busy.

Tinka said...

35

Tinka said...

Tomorrow morning we are leaving early for the farm. The weather is beautiful here, warm but not hot.

I will see you all on Monday. Have a great weekend all owls everywhere.

Tinka said...

38

Tinka said...

39 Tina - Love you too.

Tinka said...

40

Michael said...

omg TINKAAAAAA....

I am so embarrassed...

if ur embarrassed and ya know it
clap your hands!!
if ur embarrassed and ya know it
clap your hands!!
if ur embarrassed and ya know it..
then your face will surely show it...

if ur embarrassed and ya know it...
clap yours hands....

Zona said...

Hi Guys!

Thanks for all the comments on this little joke. I'm glad you liked it!!

TINA: Anytime! I'm just so thrilled to find something to send that isn't 15 yrs old..lol..

MICHAEL: Bosom Buddies is one of my favorite songs from Mame..heck..it's one of my fave show tunes evah! Wait a second..I don't remember that last line! I'll have to go watch it on YouTube.. ;D

BARB: I hope you got the money wall to put out! :D

SHIRLEY: I'm going to try and get here early tomorrow and set a foam mat below your branch..I worry about your SPLATTing.. ;)

DI: I'm so glad you're feeling better..have you bought your tickets for Sunday yet? ;D

LYNN: Your avatar is enough to make me lose sleep..ijs.. :D

TINKA: Have a nice relaxing time at the farm..I hope Tia's incision will be completely healed soon. :)

GOLDIE: I've seen guys on the road crews using maxi pads tied to their foreheads to keep the sweat out of their eyes..I bet there are 101 uses! :D

Big storm yesterday..lots of dust..and now the pool is a mess again..no swimming tonight..booo..

Have nice night and a great weekend everyone!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Don't worry Zona, I have plenty of my own "foam matting". But thanks anyway!

iteach said...

Hi everyone!!

Have you guys been following the Memphis 3? Do you think they should have been set free? I go back and forth. My gut tells me they are guilty. Who knows...