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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Man's Recipe

by Dianne

Ladies - pass this on        
Men - let this be a lesson    


A man is showering up in a locker room
With his buddy when he notices his friend

Is very well endowed.

'Damn, Bob , you're hung!' Jim exclaims..
'I wasn't always this impressive; I had to
Work for it.'

'What do you mean?' Jim asked.

'Well, every day for the past two years
I've spent an hour each night rubbing it
With butter. I know it sounds crazy but
It actually made it grow 4 inches! You
Should try it.

'Jim agrees and the two depart'

A few months later the two are back in the
Same locker room and Bob asks Jim
How his situation was.

Jim replied, 'I did what you said, Bob ,
But I've actually gotten smaller! I lost
Two inches already!'

'Did you do everything I told you? An
Hour each day with butter?'

'Well, we don't use butter, so I've
Been using Crisco.'

Wait for it
..........




Wait ...........




You know
it's coming...


Crisco!!'
Bob exclaimed. '


Damm it, Jim,

Crisco is shortening!



MORAL OF THE STORY:

 You gotta follow the recipe & men don't listen!

31 comments:

Michael said...

BAMM!

Michael said...

no man I have ever known is satisfied with the size of his penis.

"It could be longer"..."It could be thicker"..."I wish it didn't look so much like a mushroom"...

I'm so happy I have never had to think about those things...in High School I was voted "best dressed"...most handsome" and "Best Penis"....

Tina~in_ut said...

yeah.....and I'm Miss America!~

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Splat!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! Dianne that was funny! Thanks for the chuckles!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Morning Michael and Tina or should I say "Best Penis" and Miss America? LOL!!!!

Tinka said...

Good Morning Michael and Tina - I believe both of you.

Dianne - Thanks for the laugh this morning.

Barb - I hope you are feeling better today.

Zona - Looking forward to your call.

A restful time today. -- Ah it's heavenly.

Have fun Owls. Be Good.

Tinka said...

Oh Shirley just flew in. Good Morning my Canadian friend.

Tinka said...

9

Tinka said...

10

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Afternoon Tinka!

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Dianne so true.

Michael best dressed? Does it have a Top hat and bow tie?

Barb that really sucks about your Christmas day!

Michael said...

Tina!! I will have you know my penis has been called a work of art!!

Miss America! Phffft!

Michael said...

Hi Tinka..Shirley (wink wink)...Lynn!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

**looks strangely at Michael and moves farther away from him on the couch**

Michael said...

well let me give SacBarb a little competition here! Not really...I think her problem is much worse and got well soon...but last night...

I had the worst pains of my life last night. Practically no sleep. Like broken ribs maybe. But it is in my right bulging pectoral muscle like from the sternum on over. I am talking screaming out in pain when you breathe or move. It still hurts but not like it hurt all night.

I did do a couple of unusual things yesterday. I stretched really far for one thing. Maybe I have pulled a muscle.

Michael said...

I meant "get well soon" for SacBarb.....ga!

Lynn D said...

Is that an abstract MeeMee?

Michael said...

Hi again...

Lynn..

Those are Tom Cruise's calves as he stands in the Burj Khalifa building in Dubai...

Zona told me there is major calf action in Tom's new movie...Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol...and sure enough...Tom rolls up his breeches!!

Just_Lin said...

Michael Your penis is like a work of art? I hope it isn't a Salvador Dali. lol

I just saw Mission Impossible today. Really enjoyed it. Total action from beginning to end. I didn't pay close attention to Tom's calves, though.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Cute blog. Thanks for sending it in. This is not politically correct, but it reminds me of a song I remember my mother singing when I was little....."Mammy's little baby loves shortening, shortening. Mammy's little baby loves shortening bread".

Just_Lin said...

Tina What? That's all you have to say today?

Just_Lin said...

Shirley You should probably keep an eye on Michael for a while.

Just_Lin said...

Tinka My son and grandkids left early this morning to drive up to Oregon. Tomorrow I will enjoy the quiet, I think, after I meet my daughter for lunch. But it feels like I was running all day today. Met a friend for breakfast and talked for a couple of hours, ending up having to rush to the movie theater, then rushed home for 30 minutes before meeting the same friend and two others dinner. I'm well fed and tired now.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD Please don't give him ideas. I'll be afraid to look at his next avatar. lol

Dianne/Denver said...

Glad u all enjoyed the blog. I thought it was pretty cute.

We went to the movie today and watched George Clooney in the Descendants. It was a sad movie but good. Louis and I both liked it.

Not much new around here. Hello to everyone

Michael said...

J/L...

I love that puppet! The colors are great...I tried to never miss Kukla, Fran and Ollie!

Oh someone told me years ago that my willy looks sculpted...I assume it was a compliment...

This muscle in my chest is still hurting...like if I cough....but you know how you do something and realize that u r not 25 anymore?

You(I) just can't stretch and reach...and turn like I used to....its best if I just find a spot and stay in it....

HI DIANNE!!

Just_Lin said...

Michael My back was killing me on Christmas day because of the odd reaching and bending I had been doing for the few days prior while gettng ready for the holiday. I'm better today and only have an occasional twinge. Hope you're better tomorrow.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I thought that movie looked good. Then again, most things with George Clooney in it look good to me.

Dianne/Denver said...

Did u say something, MICHAEL? Huh?

Tina~in_ut said...

LOVED the descendents~ ....and not just cuz my husband was in it~ :D

lol J/L~ did some touristy sightseeing today....then had dinner with friends~ plenty to say....just been busy~

Di~ Thanks for the blag today~ not surprised you guys liked the movie~