by Zona
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.
The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
22 comments:
Morning glories!
I can hear the spanking from here. lol
Waving at everyone!
Good Morning Lynn - Congrats on being first again.
Zona - That's a cute one. I read it to Jack and he really enjoyed it too. Thanks for starting our day with a laugh.
Something is different with Tango this morning. She keeps running in and out the door, running in circles or rubbing her face on whatever she can find. She has been doing this since last evening. I don't know if she is in her second chlldhood or if something is wrong. She is almost 15 and usually spends most of her time sleeping. We have checked her face and ears and there doesn't appear to be anything that should be itchy. Any time something happens with my "fur babies" it's on the weekend and the Vet isn't open. I don't think it's serious enough to take her to the hospital. They would probably laugh at me for bringing her in just because she is acting differently. Then they would give me a bill for $100.00. Any pet experts out there please send advice my way.
Good morning feathered friends!
LYNN...happy 1st! You look lovely as always.
TINKA...did you try washing her face? Maybe there is something there that you just can't see. I hope she is ok.
ZONA...oh hell, that was funny. I laughed my ass off :)
Last summer I went to the movies and the power went out so they gave everyone a ticket for 1 free admisssion. I am going to take me ticket and go see 21 Jump Street this afternoon.
What is everyone else doing today?
Thanks Maureen. I will wash her face and see if that helps. That isn't easy however as she won't keep her head still. I hope she doesn't have doggy alzheimers.
What am I doing today you ask? Well the weather isn't nice enough for a walk so I think I will be staying home and trying to comfort Tango. Tia keeps looking at her with a very puzzled look on her face.
LynnD Good morning (barely). You are so pretty in first today. What's the weather report up there. It's been raining this morning but may be moving on now. I see a tiny bit of blue.
Zona That was funny! Thanks for the laugh.
Tinka If she's rubbing her face a lot, maybe she was stung by an insect.
MO I hope you enjoy your movie. I might be taking my granddaughter to buy new shoes today.
Buenas tardes!
Tinka...I think J/L is right. Belle is always chasing bee's and stuff and I know they bite her because she rubs her face on a rug or upholstered surface.
All you can really do is give a little benadryl...
I got the mega-ball last night!! And I had the mega-plier!!
$6 smackers I won!!
Paid for my $2 ticket and Tina's $2 ticket and I have 2 bucks left!!
I don't usually look at the numbers the night of the drawing. I wait til the next day....
and Tina was understanding about this....
after the numbers came out she only sent me 2 notes with a 36 BOLD blood red font screaming "WHAT ARE MY NUMBERS!!!???"
Thanks Just_Lin and Michael - I washed Tango's face with warm water then gave her a benadryl. She has been sleeping every since. I just don't know what could have bitten her. It's cool here and not much flying. Anyway the benedryl did help so I had enough peace so I could have a nap. Tango does pace a lot and I think she is showing signs of old age. It breaks my heart. I wish they lived 50 years.
Tinka...
Every 2 or 3 years I get a stray dog. They just appear. I think people dump them.
The last one was Dolly the Dalmatian 4 years ago. I enjoyed her and she played with Belle when Belle was a puppy...
2 weeks ago a dog walked up to me while I was sitting on the deck. She has a hard time walking. She looks like a Heeler but has this beautiful wheat colored face. I guess I looked friendly because she shows no fear. She had fleas so I got that fixed...made her a nice bed on the deck which she seems to enjoy...and she mostly sleeps...drinks a lot of water...and never makes a peep...
Belles vet...Laurie...came by one day and checked her out. She told me she is deaf and just to keep her comfortable...she is old.
So she shall be safe...fed..watered...comfortable and loved...until she is ready to go....I'm just so glad she found us...
I have named her Sally.
Evening all,
Tinka I think that was good advice to wash Tangos face. I hope that and the benadryl work!
I did not win spit on my mega tickets. ;(
Just Lin and MO I have been experimenting with some new paint techniques today. I have prepped my canvases and now I have to wait until they are dry to continue. This is good day to do it because it has been raining all damn day.
Michael I am glad Sally found you and Belle too.
Thanks Lynn - Tango has been sleeping for the past two hours so I think the benadryl worked. It is more than her face however. She paces back and forth and never seems to stay in one bed for long. She is always changing beds. First she will go in her own, then Tia's and then Teddy's. She is very deaf now and does not see well. She has failed a lot in the last few months. I got Tia as my "back up dog" when Tango was 9 and not in the best of health. Now they are so bonded and I adore both of them. I can't imagine my world without either of them. I guess I am going to have to start preparing myself.
Michael - How nice you and Sally found each other. Things are meant to be I think. She knew a good place when she found it. I feel so sad when I think of what some old dogs have to put up with. It's a happy day when just one can be saved.
Hi Everyone! Thanks for the comments today..cute joke huh? I thought so too!
LYNN: I'm so glad you were able to get into your 'studio' today..I don't care..that's what I'm calling it! :) I can't wait to see some of your paintings!
MO: You're so lucky! Not only that you got to see the movie..which I hear is very funny.. :D but that you laughed your ass off..I really need to learn how to do that!! ;D
TINKA: I'm glad to hear that Tango was able to get some sleep..hopefully she is just having a restless couple days and will feel better tomorrow. :)
J/LIN: I saw a ton of blue today..our high was 96*! Oh well as someone very wise said to me.. "It's supposed to be 96 there..it's AZ!" :D
MICHAEL: That was very sweet and kind of you to take Sally in and take care of her! :)
We didn't win anything in the mega million drawing either..altho 3 people in AZ won some big bucks..maybe I should check that ticket again..just in case we read it wrong..ya never know.. :D
Isn't it a pain when you open the cupboard under the sink and water pours out all over the floor? HATE THAT!! :(
Michael I'm so glad that Sally found you. Perfect name, by the way.
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