by Tina~in_ut
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
25 comments:
ATM producers make keypads with Braille dots for their walk-up machines anyway, it is cheaper just to make all machines the same way. The alternative, after all, would be to hold two separate inventories and make sure that each machine went to the right destination. If the Braille dots caused trouble for sighted users, the extra expense might be justified. But they do not.
Before sliced bread, things were generally considered a total bummer. The common saying was, "Wow, that's the best thing since a sharp stick in the eye!", which was considered really great at the time, as it was better than full-body boils, catastrophic crop failure, leprosy, or local volcanic eruption.
At that time, there was no way to slice bread, since bread was made of rocks, ankle bones, chiggers, silverfish eggs, and sharp sticks. Everyone just took turns taking bites out of the bread, and if you got a sharp stick in the eye, it was common courtesy to give you another bite, once your eye stopped bleeding. If your eye actually popped out, you got to eat all the rest of the loaf!
So getting a sharp stick in the eye was really pretty lucky. Most families only had one meal a day, and a common meal might be your own pinkie toe, a few egg shells, a handful of dirt, and a few bites of rock-bone-chigger-bug egg-stick bread. Getting an extra bite of bread was really something.
Once people realized that you could make bread more edible by adding more grain and taking out the bones, rocks, live insects, and sticks, it became soft enough to slice. From then on, people could have multiple slices of bread to eat, and also got to enjoy binocular vision!
Now the phrase, "I need that as much as I need a sharp stick in the eye." is considered something bad, but before sliced bread, that was really something to look forward to.
The Washington Post has a weekly contest called the Style Invitational. One contest asked readers to submit "instructions" for something (anything), but written in the style of a famous person. The popular winning entry was "The Hokey Pokey (as written by William Shakespeare)" by Jeff Brechlin, Potomac Falls...
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
Good Morning Michael - Thank you for the explanations of these "ponderings". Love the "Hokey-Pokey" song. It would have been rather difficult, however, to teach grade ones that version. The kids I taught always loved that song.
I am always wondering "WHY" about about many things. Maybe you can explain a couple. Why is it that the one time you don't clean up the kitchen right after breakfast or dinner company will arrive at the kitchen door? I am embarrassed when someone arrives and my house isn't tidy.
Why is it the only day Tango wasn't wearing her collar with her license and identification was the only day she got out of the yard and was lost for an hour. She was found but I was so sick about it I think my blond hair almost turned grey. Just wondering.
I must get Tango and Tia ready to go to the groomers. Jack stayed home to take them. I like to put the blankets for their crates in the dryer for a few minutes just before they leave because it is cold out there today. Cold this morning but sunny and warming up by the afternoon. I like days like this.
Have a great day Owls.
Tinka...
I found these microwaveable pet bed warmers that are marvelous...
they stay warm for hours after microwaving for just a few minutes...
We don't have weather like you do but it does get pretty cold sometimes.
I like my bedroom cold at night and I have put them on Belles side of the bed for her...she will lay on them for a bit but I usually find them pushed aside by morning...
I guess they are for my peace of mind more than anything...lol
They are each 9x9 inches and can be handwashed with soap and water...
I have had mine for a couple of years and they are still in great shape...
and Tinka...
you know the guy that wrote the Hokey Pokey (Larry LaPrise) died awhile back. I read about it. His family said the service was lovely but that they had had a little trouble at the funeral home getting Mr. LaPrise in his casket. His widow said they would put his left leg in....well...you know the rest of the story...
Tinka...
Isn't that kitchen and collar and tag deal kinda like Murphy's Law?
Michael Well aren't you good looking today, all perky with your ears standing at attention.
I think the Braille question has to do with how does the blind person know what the machine is asking them to do next? If I recall correctly, I believe there is a headset plug on the keyboard, also, and I think they get audible step-by-step instructions.
Your story about sliced bread was hilarious. I really enjoyed the poem, too. So clever.
Michael2 Perhaps the heating blanket should have another blanket or towel on top of it so as not to get too warm when a body is on top of it.
Tinka Michael has it right....Murphy's Law. The one time you don't go back to make sure you turned off the iron would be the day the house catches on fire.
speaking of braille dots...have yall ever seen Helen Kellers house in Tuscumbia, Alabama??
My puppies are groomed. I have had a delicious nap and my Mac Geek has come and gone. Now my Imac and MacBook Pro have faster Ram. The first has 16 gigs and the laptop 12. They are now so fast I can't believe it. It took him 3 trips here because the ram was faulty but all is well now.
Michael - I have to find those microwaveable pet beds. They sound ideal. I will google and see where I can buy them. They would be good at night here too. We like a cold bedroom even in summer. I turn the bedroom air conditioner high for an hour before bedtime. I just can't sleep in the heat. I put warm sweaters on my "fur babies" before bed. They look so sweet in their beds.
Michael - LOL @ Larry's left leg.
Hi Just-Lin - Yes you and Michael are right. My "ponderings" are examples of Murphy's law. I would like to know how or why that law works.
I must check my farms now that I can quickly swing back and forth between farms. Isn't technology great?
Have a great evening everyone.
Hello everyone. Home from the beach and now it's raining---hard!!! Had yummy Chinese food tonight for dinner.
I loved the beach. It was so beautiful there. We stayed for five days. Six women and it was a lot if fun.
Hope u all r doing great and feeling good
Welcome Back Dianne - We missed you. Do you have pictures to show or did you just bring back great memories?
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Tinka...
this is the link for the doggie pads....
they ship to Canada btw...
http://cozywinters.com/shop/kh-3111.html
Dianne I'm glad you are having such a nice time. It does sound like a lot of fun.
Thanks Michael for doing the research for me. I will check into it and I am sure I will order two.
I am checking my farms and then off to bed. Sweet Dreams all Owls everywhere. Love, Tink
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