Desperation

i left my office for a bit yesterday, as i needed
to run some errands, on my way back i
see several police cars in front of office,
panic when straight to my blood, as i surly
thought something had happen in my office

i was told on my return,

a man walked into the "rent a center"
that is located next to my office, he asked for
the manager, when they told him the manager
was not there, he calmly said "i am tired of
getting phone calls from you" with that he poured
butane fluid on him and lit a match and threw it
on himself, which of course led to him
setting himself on fire, i am not sure how they
were able to stop the flames, but when they took
him out by ambulance he did not look to badly
burned, and i say to that "thank goodness"

it seems he owed them money, and the
persistent phone calls to claim their money,
put him over the edge, i spoke with the sales
clerk that had called him earlier in the day,
she described him to me as a "normal" person
very cordial, and apologetic, he told her he
would be in to pay what he owed

the sales clerks who witness it, where besides
themselves, they just could not stop crying,
when i approached them to see if they were ok
they could not even talk, the one sales clerk (a man)
was frozen in time, as I spoke to him, there was
no movement, just stares and tears

"rent a center" called in grief counselors to speak
with them, and then they were both sent home,
i wonder now, what they see, are the flames still
in there head, do they see his face, can they
ever get that image out of their minds, or are
they in a fog, where nothing seems real

how desperate was this man, how lost he must have
felt, we live in such terrible times, where money
does not expand, it stays dormant, then slowly
disappears, and then one finds themselves
desperate!

i always say we can never underestimate any one
person, as any one is capable of anything, and now
i guess, i see that more, and the meaning of
underestimate just sits in my soul, to wonder each
day, what will happen next