My Angel "Nadine"

So its that time for me, my "squeeze" will be happening today!

It started several years back, on a routine mammo, I needed additional testing, at first I was really taken aback, as it was so unexpected. I was scheduled for a Breast Biopsy the following week. A Breast Biopsy is not very pleasant, as I am sure one would not think so. Large long needles are used and you just cannot watch, you must turn your head, squeeze your hands until they hurt and pray! The Biopsy came back negative for any cancer cells.

However my gyno called and referred me to a breast surgeon and I was told to make a appointment immediately. I went into panic mode, I could not think, all I remember my gyno saying was "immediately". With some searching, I found a Breast Surgeon in my area who took my insurance coverage. If I remember correctly I was in her office within 7days of getting the news.

I did not tell my parents as I could not make the worry, I told a handful of people, and asked one of my friends to come with me, as I so needed a hand to hold. I was very well prepared with all my films and of course my notepad. Why I brought a notepad? I have no idea because I did not write one thing down.

That was the day I met my angel Dr. Nadine Pappas, on first sight she was so simple, so easy, so kind. She spent three hours with me, explaining all that she saw on the films. I had a mass, It seemed to her is was scar tissue from a breast reduction I had, however it needed to come out and be analyzed, even tho my Biopsy came back negative, she wanted to be sure. The surgery was scheduled for the following month. I also had to arrange to have a plastic surgeon in the operating room as if the mass was bigger than she thought I would need reconstruction.

I remember sitting my parents down and explaining this all to them, their faces were pale, their voices empty. And in every breathe I took I made sure I said "no cancer cells were present".

And so the day arrives, I always wondered why the heck you have to be there at 5AM, it just ruins the whole day, as I am not a early riser, 8AM is so much better for me. But 5AM it was and I was there on time, upon arrival I was whisked away by a scrub nurse and prepped, they are all so very sweet, as they hold your shaking hand, and wipe your tears. My doctors came to greet me, and went over everything one more time. My plastic surgeon then broke some news to me. He said "I have a prosthetic, just in case your breast collapses we can put the prosthetic in so your breasts will be even" Excuse me? "What did you just say" and with that he walked away, to leave me with my thoughts of getting a boob job in one boob and not having to pay for it. But wait, this all started because I wanted them smaller! I guess its the ole saying "Be careful what you wish for" .

With me, my thoughts and my nakedness, they wheel me into the OR, and again my angel appears, holds my hand and tells me she is confident of the outcome, all will be ok. I remember being told to count backwards as the angel holds my hand, I think, I got to 9 and that is all I remember. When I awake shivering and nauseous, my angel is in front of me, again holding my hand. She tells me the mass is gone, they sent in down to the lab as soon as they got it out, and waited for the outcome before sewing me back up. They wanted to be sure so if they needed to take more out they could while I was still in La La Land. The outcome! Negative no cancer cells, I am cancer free. And no need for the prosthetic as my boob did not deflate. And to that I say "Thank Goodness". My angel was right all along!


So every six months for the last 7years I visit my angel, we have become somewhat friends, as I now call her by her first name. "Nadine" I say, "how are you"! She hugs me hello, and we then chat, as she pushes, feels, prods and kneads two things of mine that she knows so well!

This part of my life, is part of my history, it is a part of me! It has made me stronger and wiser. I am forever grateful that I came out of it ok. It was a scare, however I am extremely lucky and I know this!

Many thanks to my angel named Nadine.....