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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Southerner's Medical Dictionary

by Zona

Southerners have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously. You are going to die anyway, so live life..... and don't worry so much.

Artery................... The study of paintings Bacteria................. Back door to the cafeteria
Barium................... What doctors do when patients die
Benign................... What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section........ A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan................. Searching for Kitty
Cauterize................ Made eye contact with her
Colic.................... A sheep dog
Coma..................... A punctuation mark
Dilate................... To live long
Enema.................... Not a friend
Fester................... Quicker than someone else
Fibula................... A small lie
Impotent................. Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain.............. Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff............ A Doctor's cane
Morbid................... A higher offer
Nitrates................. Cheaper than day rates
Node..................... I knew it
Outpatient............... A person who has fainted
Pelvis................... Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative........... A letter carrier
Recovery Room............ Place to do upholstery
Rectum................... Dang near killed him
Secretion................ Hiding something
Seizure.................. Roman emperor
Tablet................... A small table
Terminal Illness......... Getting sick at the airport
Tumor.................... One plus one more
Urine.................... Opposite of you're out

43 comments:

Bebbilane said...

Ahem...1 Ta Da!

Bebbilane said...

I did it, oh man, I rock.

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Morning~

Hi Bebbi~ u look so cute today~ :D

Bebbilane said...

OMG Zona! Those are hilarious! I have never heard them before!! Loved Barium and many of the others...AWESOME..LOL funny! :)

Bebbilane said...

Ahhhhem...don't you mean ravishingly gorgeous?? hmmmmpfh...CUTE?? CUTE??? REALLLllllyyyy???

Bebbilane said...

*folds arms and skulks off* *muttering under breath about all the compliments I have thrown Tina's way over the years* sheesh......all I get is "CUTE"!

Tina~in_ut said...

Dang Zona~ Those were really funny~ I kept thinking I read "the funniest one" and then the next one would be funnier~ Thanks for sending it in~

Bebbilane said...

;)

Tina~in_ut said...

uh.....dear......I AM WAY prettier~ duh~

Bebbilane said...

I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay.....

Bebbilane said...

*SNORTS* @ Tina's last comment.

Bebbilane said...

LOL, gosh, I just realized..it's probably not too atractive so snort...LOLOL...

Tina~in_ut said...

node!!!! lmbo~

Tina~in_ut said...

HEY!!!!!! I didn't call you ugly, mkay?!!!!!~

Bebbilane said...

Mkay.. :)

Bebbilane said...

Hey Tina or anyone..can you post the instructions on how to make the blue link in a blog that directs you to another url? I have my instructions at home and I want to add a link to a blog posting I just did. I don't remember how! If any of you know, please post...thank you so much!

bonachichi said...

I must be losing my mind. I thought this was a blog sometime last week. I looked, and it wasn't, but I'd gotten it via e-mail. I laughed just as much this time as I did the first time.

Hiya, Beauti-liscious-Bebbi and Turnpike-Tina! Wow. It's been a long time since I've hurled an insult. How liberating.

Have a great Tuesday, Hooters!

bonachichi said...

Oh, Tina! I received something in the mail here in SD. It had a brief layover in WLV then made the connection down here. Thanks!! Love it!

Bebbilane said...

Bonachichi: Why thank you for the lovely compliment! :) Trying to stifle a giggle at "Turnpike Tina"...

:)

Bebbilane said...

Okay..now I feel guilty for giggling..I am like the epitome of a guilt ridden woman...gosh! arrgh..lol.

Tina~in_ut said...

well crap! I thought it was a compliment, but after reading what Bebbi wrote....I'm having to re-think this!!!!~

sacBarb said...

Happy Tuesday Owls.

Zona, Very funny. Reading these definitions brought me back to a family reunion I attended in West Virginia with my sister-in-law. I often needed her to translate for me. One of the cousins was handing me a glass of lemonade and said to me "this's urine." I looked at my SIL and she said "it's yours, not mine." Somehow I still didn't want it. Now I see there is an alternate definition.

sacBarb said...

Bebbi, You are the prettiest today,no matter what Tina says.

Tina, You're a cutie.

Good morning to Bonachichi and all the other Owls. I hope you all have a good day. BBL

Just_Lin said...

Zona. Thanks for the blog. Those were hilarious. I think rectum is my favorite.

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi. You are definitely the most beautiful today. Cute doesn't even begin to describe how gorgeous you are.

Just_Lin said...

Tina. At least you are first runner up. That's better than being Miss Congeniality.

Just_Lin said...

Bonach. LOL @ Turnpike Tina! Sounds like a woman to be reckoned with....or maybe a carnival ride.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb. LOL @ urine lemonade. I guess it did seem too refreshing after that. At least it wasn't body temperature, was it?

Just_Lin said...

I meant didn't seem too refreshing.

Bebbilane said...

Sacbarb and J/L: Blushing!! Ohh..thank you so much. You two are always so gorgeous yourselves. :) I hope your day is going well.

Tina~in_ut said...

okay.....i just read that as "Scarlet and J/L" lol~

Bebbilane said...

ha ha..! I think you need glasses! Now, I am not saying anything because I am going to have to go from the 125 to the 150s..in my reading glasses..uggh.. This getting old and not seeing well is rough! :)

Tina~in_ut said...

it's funny you say that.....i just put these glasses on that i borrowed from my daughter......and made Janice laugh....AGAIN!!! These things look hilarious~ maybe i'll take a pic and put it on FB~

whabbear said...

OMG! Took me a second to figure out "Barium" !!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

These are very funny Zona! Great blog!

Evening all! Night all! I'm off to bed! Catch ya on the flip side!

Lynn D said...

Evening Glories!

Bebbi you look wonderful at first.

Zona they all made me laugh but I think this is still the medical dictionary they use in the South to this given day. :)

Waving at everyone!

Mary/MI said...

Zona, they cracked me up!! Especially "rectum & pelvis"!!

Whabby, their must not be one tiny "Southern" bone in your Canada/Cali body lol!!!

Bebbi, your beauty has left me speechless!!

wavin at yuall~~~

Mary/MI said...

Whabby "there" lol!!

Maureen said...

BEBBI...looking stunningly, ravishingly and gorgeously lovely!

LYNN...when I read your post...you look lovely at first...I was thinking why would she say that? It sounded like...you look lovely at first, then not so much!!! I know you didn't mean it as that, but it cracked me up. But then again, I am psycho!

ZONA...LOVED LOVED LOVED it!!! I'm glad you sent it in!

TINA...you aren't old enough for reading glasses!! (Is that enough of a suck-up?) LOL!!

SHIRLEY...hello. goodnight.

Tina~in_ut said...

you ARE ppppsycho!!! (that's so you sound out the p!) :)~

Dianne/Denver said...

This blog is cracking me up. ZONA, did you make up all these words or are they part of you vocabulary? :) I don't remember hearing you use them much...well okay, sometimes.

BEBBI; You are still beautiful 15 hours later!! The light is blinding me and I might not be able to go to sleep with it.

The wind is howling here and shaking the house.

Not much new on this end of the world...taking my friend to lunch tomorrow for her birthday. I am boring!!!

Night everyone.

Zona said...

Hi Guys!

I'm glad everyone got a laugh out of this blog. I've gone back and read the list a few times and they still make me laugh. I think Fibula, Enema and Benign are my faves. Thanks for the comments everyone! :)

BEBBI: You're both cute AND gorgeous!

TINA: Great pic!! ;)

BARB: My dad would say 'That's not mine, it's urine' and then grin..he was such a goof!

DIANNE: They weren't..but I have a feeling they will be from now on..lol..

MO: I read it that way too!!

LYNN: You might be right.. ;)

MARY: I read your comment and it suddenly occurred to me..what if someone just reads the comments today and not the blog..LOL!

J/LIN: LOL@ room temperature..ewwww.. ;)

BONACHI: Turnpike TINA? I think you lost me..not difficult to do though.. ;)

BEAR: I'm glad you got it..lol..

I've been futzing around all day..better actually do something constructive..even if it is almost 10pm.. ;)

Have a good night everyone!!

Zona said...

BIRRRRDDDEEEE!! I know I win this time!! :D