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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

~ Ha! Ha! Ha! ~

by Tina~in_ut

*I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.  I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.  After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.  He asked if he could help me.  Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls.'

*My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.  As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'  My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.  To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

*This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.  What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?  A true story. 

We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'  Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!
 
*While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to take off.  Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up.  Without thinking she just announced, 'Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off!'.  No one saw her for the rest of the flight to Houston , and all the other Stewardesses were laughing all the way and so were half of the passengers.

46 comments:

Bebbi said...

Oh ho ho..the HO is numer-O uno!

Bebbi said...

Wow, Ms. Bebbi..you certainly are beautiful today, radiant, in fact! Way to go on getting number one! :)

Bebbi said...

LynnD & Mo: Such good news from both of you! I am so glad to hear it..!! :) Yay!

Mo: Yes, That area has amazing white outs in the snow sometimes. You can't see two inches in front of your face when it happens! Do you get them where you are too? They are incredible!

Bebbi said...

I got up on stage and did a little bit of comedy last night at my open mic. It was fun. I got a couple of laughs but mostly crickets chirping.. I didn't even know they had crickets in that restaurant! he he. :)

Bebbi said...

Bebberlee..quit talking to yourself..

Bebbi said...

I can't stop..it's too fun. :)

Bebbi said...

Aww gosh..why do you always have to be so cheerful?? Don't you know that you are annoying???...just stop it.

Bebbi said...

Yes, I know I am annoying but I like to be cheerful so suck it up and enjoy it..it's a beautiful day. :) Be kind to me, I am you.

Bebbi said...

meh..You are not me, I want to be hateful and mean to you..so there. :P

Bebbi said...

Well, I feel sad for you and I would like to just give you a big hug. I hope your day gets better. HUGS!! :) I love you, you grumpy self.. You are so silly sometimes..just breath.

Bebbi said...

Aww...Bebbi, who can be mad with you around..HUGS BACK..I love you too..thanks for putting up with me. :) You are a true Gem.

Bebbi said...

I know, :) Thank you too sweetie.

goldie said...

Good Morning Hooters! Or should I just say good morning Bebbi!

Bebbi said...

Goldieeeeeeeee! Good morning! We're happy to have you here!!

Tinka said...

Good Bebbi, Bebbi, Bebbi and Bebbi. All of your personalities had a chance to get out this morning. You all look beautiful.

Tinka said...

I thought for a second that I was going to have the same trouble as yesterday because it made me sign in. I have always just stayed signed in but yesterday I had a frustrating time until Zona helped me change my password. That wasn't easy either. Today it made me sign in but it did accept my new password. I was so annoyed yesterdayI never did get back to the blog. I have missed a lot.

Tinka said...

Good Morning Goldie. I haven't seen you for a while. Hope you are fine.

Bebbi said...

Tink: Blogger has been a mess the last few days!! It was making me crazy too...!! Glad you are back and was able to sign in properly today. :)

Tinka said...

I had a fantastic Victoria Day weekend. It was exhausting however. It's nice to have a quiet week ahead of me.

Tinka said...

Breakfast time. Be back later. Have a great day Owls. Be good.

Tinka said...

Bebbi - I just scrolled back and saw you had talked to me. Sorry I missed it. I know blogger has been a mess. I shouldn't have wasted an hour on it yesterday because I knew I was using the right password and I couldn't get in.

Tinka said...

Where is everyone today? It could be blogger.

Tinka said...

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Bebbi said...

Hellllllllllllooooooooooooooooooo

Zona said...

HI Guys!!

TINA: I'll see your HA! HA! HA! and raise you a HA!! Funny jokes! They remind me of the time I had a tooth pulled..no, really..keep reading..about a week later while the extraction site was healing, we went into Jack In The Box..I just wanted a soda, but the guy behind the counter was trying to up sell and asked if I wanted some onion rings to go with that...I said "No..the crumbs will get stuck in my hole.." The look on his face was priceless..Mr Z just about fell over.. ;D

BEBBI: You look gorgeous times at least ten today!! Congrats on having the courage to do the open mike thing..I could never do it! A couple of laughs is great for your first try! :)

TINKA: I wonder now if we needed to change your password..or if blogger was just being creepy? Oh well..hopefully it will stick this time!! :)

HI GOLLLLDIE!!! :D

Jodi said...

Two days ago Blogger wouldn't let me comment, so I saved my comments and here they are for Area 52:

WHABBY - Any good recommendations on a hotel nearby? Can't wait for the BABB!!

MICHAEL - Glad you liked it!!

SLIN - Hope you're enjoying your trip ♥ Bridesmaids is on my list of movies to go see. Looks hilarious!!

TINKA - Sounds like you've had a full couple of days. I hope you are going to post pics. I love it when you share your family with us ♥

ZONA - Good luck with the new schedule!!

BEBBI - Good morning Sunshine :)

DIANNE - Glad you're back on solid ground!! What did you get me?

MICHAEL - part 2....Good morning additional people ?!!? And I loved your questions for DIANNE!! The pics coming out of Missouri are crazy scary. My heart goes out to those people ♥

SHIRLEY - I never had a conversation with any of my kids like this. Thankfully our schools do an excellent job covering the subject. My kids also know they can come to me for ANYTHING!! Like I tell them no question is out of bounds!!

MO - Glad Elaine is doing so well. Sending big love and prayers from Wisconsin ♥

Jodi said...

From Area 51:

TINA - Thanks for the laugh...lol @ 5 leads!!

MICHAEL - Hallelujah holes?!!? I'm Lutheran....do tell ;)

LYNN - I'm so happy Eva doesn't need surgery!!

MO - Praying that Elaine will be able to go home on Friday. Aren't you a good cousin to stay with her!!

Bebbi said...

Hey Zona! :) Yes, it was fun getting up on the mike and trying the comedy. I read poems but the comedy is a lot different. Just fun to do it, and push myself to do things outside my norm. :)

Hey Jodi!! :)

I hope everyone can get back on blogger soon..it's been a real mess.

Zona said...

DIANNE can't get on the blog, so she asked me to post for her...She's still on vacation in hot, humid Texas..and wants to say HI to everyone. She was very happy to hear LYNN's good news about her granddaughter and MO's good news about her cousin.

She also wants everyone..especially MONTH to know that she found the cheese with the blueberries in it in TX!!

I have no idea what that last paragraph means..but it sounds interesting!

Hurry back DI..SWAK!! :D

Jodi said...

TINA - I damn near pee'd...where's the 8 inches you promised me last night!!!

BEBBI - Well aren't you a Chatty Kathy today!! I love, love, love your energy! Makes me smile :)

GOLDIE - Yoooooohoooooo!!! I'm over here!! Can't wait to see your family on Sunday!! Can I bring anything? Potato salad perhaps?

TINKA - Always good to see your sweet little owl!! Do you have any pics to share from the weekend?

ZONA - O M G...can't breathe!!! What else gets stuck in there? :P

Jodi said...

DIANNE - I love that cheese!! Have a safe trip home lady ♥

goldie said...

Jodi` do you really have to ask that question??? PS is always much appreciated!!!!!!! Can't wait to see you too.

Hi everyone, I am fine- just busy as all heck. A little issue with Inge Binga and her trip to Germany because of her eye. Trying to get it all re-arranged without it costing the price of the actual aircraft!!

Zona- tell Dianne that we have every type of cheese they can possibly make here in WI. Fruit, nuts, peppers, we got it all!

Ok, still at work- will get back on later... FLAPPING a wing at all of you!!

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moan~ TOTALLY overslept this morning....and decided...hell...I'm not going to work~ Of course....the 750 calls to AI prolly didn't help any....stayed up WAY too late~

Bebbi~ my....don't you look Ho gorgeous today~

Di~ hurry up and come home~ I miss you~

Tinka~ glad you made it in....but you never told me how you liked ur first Moaning lesson~ :)~

Jodi~ Are you getting the same Ho texts that I'm gitting?~

Hi Goldie and Zona~

Jodi said...

TINA - If you mean all that pokin'...then, yes!!! Otherwise please explain!!

Jodi said...

Good night HOoters!!

About time for AI to start. I confess I really haven't watched much of this season, but the finale is always a kick to watch!

Maureen said...

TINA...hilarious!! Sure needed those laughs. THANKS!

BEBBI...you're bebbiutiful this morning!

DIANNE...thanks!

GOLDIE...I didn't know INGE had eye problems, I hope she is doing ok now. Safe travels to her.

ZONA...thanks for posting for DIANNE. I finally made it home.

Elaine was moved to a regular room today. She hopes to go home on Friday or Sat at the latest. Her BP is back to normal range and they took off her oxygen. YAY!

Maureen said...

ZONA...when we were in Chicago, I brought some White Cheddar with blueberries in it. It was sooooo good! I bought it at the Mars Cheese World and it was OUTTA THIS WORLD!

Maureen said...

Ok, so Monday night I was at the gas station when the tornado sirens went off. Tonight, again I left the library at the same time - 7:30 - and decided to grab a Mickey D's, which coincidentally is across from that gas station. I was in line at the drive thru and when I pulled up to pay the effing TORNADO SIRENS went off again. The sky turned pitch black and it started to rain. This time there was a warning on the radio and they said tornado warnings until 8 pm in Twinsburg. So, I parked the car away from the trees and ran to the McD's. They had locked the doors and I banged until they let me in! I told them I was scared shitless and can I PLEASE wait it out with them. They kindly let me in and I was a nervous wreck until 8. Then there were severe thunderstorm warnings till 8:45, so I stayed there till then. My $1 cheeseburger was in the car, and I was hungry and deserved a treat, so I sat and had a hot fudge Sunday! The power went off for a minute, but then came back on.

I am soooooo stressed out!

Tinka said...

Oh Maureen, you must be so stressed out. Is it over now? I surely hope so.

Tinka said...

Tina - I am sorry I haven't had a chance to study my first lesson yet. With the Victoria Day weekend I haven't had much chance to be on the blog. I certainly appreciated the effort you made into making me into a
**. I can't even write the word so you have your work ahead of you.

Tinka said...

American Idol just ended. I won't comment because it hasn't been seen in half of America. I will get your opinion tomorrow.

Tinka said...

Jack just got home from being up island so I must run. I will be a better blogger tomorrow.

Jodi said...

MO - Glad Elaine's BP is in a normal range and off the oxygen....doing a happy dance for her!!

TINKA - You're so cute....can't even type the word. TINA really has her work cut out ;)

Maureen said...

Thanks HODI!

TINKA..yes, still stressed out...they are calling for severe thunderstorms again tonight. I hate this.