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Friday, May 6, 2011

The Kansas Cow

by Dianne

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow in Kansas for $200.00.

They bought the cow from Kansas and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.

However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do. They told the Vet what was happening.

"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away to the other side."

The Vet thinks about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow in Kansas ?"

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Kansas ?

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Kansas!"

70 comments:

sacBarb said...

First????

sacBarb said...

I have been up most of the night coughing and blowing my nose, so I thought I'd try for first. Now I'll go read about that Kansas Cow.

sacBarb said...

Dianne, very cute blog. Thanks for the (very) early morning laugh. Going back to bed now to try to get some sleep. BBL

Zona said...

Good Morning!

DI: Thanks for the early Friday morning giggles..loved the joke too! :D

BARB: Even with your red nose you look beautiful this morning! Get as much rest as you can, drink lots of tea and feel better, kay? Swak! :)

J/LIN: ♫♪Happy Birthday to you!!♪♫ Have a great day..and a great birthday weekend! :)

Gotta run..lots to do today..only slept 3 hours and I'm off and running..this should be interesting!!

Waving HI to everyone!!

Tinka said...

Good Morning SacBarb. I was going to congratulate you on being first and then read the second comment and saw you didn't have a good night. I didn't think you would be in a congratulatory mood so I will just say "Get Well Soon".

Tinka said...

Good Morning Zona-my-baby - Now I am going to scold you for not getting more sleep than 3 hours. That's isn't enough for a growing girl. And you have so much to do today. I insist you get a nap today. Have fun.

Tinka said...

Just_Lin - Happy Birthday my dear friend. Have a good one.

Tinka said...

I promised the last two days I would back in the afternoon. All I can say is I have good days and bad days. Today is a good day.

Tinka said...

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Tinka said...

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Tinka said...

Now I will read the blog. Be right back. Really I will.

Tinka said...

Dianne - That was a good one. Jack laughed harder than I did.

I skimmed the comments and saw you asked me about my scooter. We are just at the stage of talking to salesmen and looking at brochures. I hope to have it within the next two weeks. I want to get outside in the warm sunshine but the weather isn't co-operating.

Tinka said...

Tina - Are you celebrating George Clooney's birthday? He is 50 day. That's when a man is at his best. He is usually very mature and rich by that age. At least that's the ideal man.

Tinka said...

Breakfast time. My dear "fur babies" are looking up at me with their big brown beautiful eyes. How could I ever keep them waiting? Have a great day everyone.

Tinka said...

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Michael said...

morning everyone....

The bull in question is obviously a gay bull and the cow is apparently frigid....

A straight bull would have just taken her....because when a woman says no..we all know she means yes..yes..yes!!! ...right?

I think Dianne is involved in a plot to divert our attention from the real issues...

I'm not quite ready to unmask her...but I think everyone will be very surprised....

right Dianne? Or should I say
Z e b e e b a h ??!!

Lynn D said...

Morning all,

Sacbarb congrats on first! I am so sorry you are not feeling well. Rest up my friend.

Dianne are all the females from Kansas cold? Just wondering. lol

Happy Birthday J/L!!!

Tinka said...

Michael - Good Morning.

You are wrong my dear . She means "NO, NO, NO,".

LOL@ the gay bull.

Tinka said...

Good Morning Lynn - I hope you are feeling better. Kiss that sweet baby for me.

Tinka said...

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Tinka said...

We had the carpets cleaned yesterday so today I have to put the 'house back together'. All ornaments etc must be cleared off all tables, shelves etc. before they will clean the carpets. It seems to me they could just be careful around them but "dem's the rules". That should keep me busy today. My doll room alone will take some time.

Tinka said...

I am very excited today because I just found out all my children and grandchildren are coming here for a picnic on Mother's Day. What more could a mother ask for?

Tinka said...

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Bebbi said...

Barb: You are so beautiful today~! Congrats on first! :)

Di: LOL..that was funny and cute! :) Loved it.

Michael: I wrote you in Area 51.

Hiya Tink & Lynn D. I hope your day is going well.

I didn't post anything yesterday because I went to the parade and walked for the Center for Women & Families again. It was so fun! :)

Talk to you all soon and have a good one. Dialed In is my pic for the Derby.

Tina~in_ut said...

Sackie~ hope ur feel better soon...ur still pretty~

Zona~ 3 hrs sucks~

Di~ that was cute....made me chuckle~

Tinka~ That man is so beautiful....I really don't care how much money he has.....all he has to do is stay sexy~ :D

Miguelito~ When a woman says no...she mean HELL NO....when a woman says yes...HURRY THE HELL UP!!!!!~ mkay?~

LynnD~ took a pic of Mt Rainier above the clouds yesterday....Seattle was so pretty.....rain or sun~

Bebbi~ Is the Derby tomorrow? My mom loves it...gotta remember to call her after the race~

She called me yesterday to say she got her card.....I love making cards, but her call is always the best part~ I keep forgetting about Mother's Day.....cuz I don't care about it (for me!)...I work....but my oldest just called....he has one more test today, then he's packing and on his way home....TOTALLY FORGOT.....lol...yay!!!!! :D

Michael said...

Tinka....

a World Cruise? ...and diamonds!

in 2209 I crossed on the QM2 and they have dog kennels...with a kennel master!

It is the ONLY ship that a dog can arrive in Europe or the U.K. aboard...

Otherwise dogs have to arrive in a crate via airliner (approved)...

Canada and the U.S. are approved countries....

So...if you ever want to go to the U.K. or the Czech Republic with your babies....aboard Cunard to the U.K. and not have them treated like cargo...I know how!!!

And!! You can spend time with your dog everyday...but every time I visited Belle I felt as though she and the other dogs were being polite...but I was clearly imposing on their shipboard activities....

point is...you could take the 3 month world cruise on the QM2 and take your poochita's with you...

oh yeah...Jack could go too....

Michael said...

Tina Cocina...

DeeDee got her Mothers day card yestiddy!!

She told me you wrote that it would be her last MD card but she said you were clearly just showing off because the card was so spectacular...

But you know how DeeDee loves adjectives...

I will tell you though she seemed a little peeved...she kept mumbling something about TDINH and then the card said it was the last one...more mumbling about being outed...and something about being stabbed in the ass with an ice pick...and disrespectful brats...

I dunno...she was having a total cluster fuck fly apart...so I just slipped out the door and left...

you really know how to push her buttons....

Tina~in_ut said...

....and she said not a word...that bitch!~ :)~

Michael said...

Attention please...Bebbi and Tina!!

from area 51...

I do not smoke plot!!

Tinka said...

I have been busy working on my farms. I check back and see the nest is bustling with owls.

Tinka said...

Good Morning Tina, He is SO sexy. I might have mentioned it before but we bought the first 3 seasons of E.R. (We had never seen that show before). I think we will end up buying all 14 seasons as I go to sleep each night knowing I may dream about George Clooney. Please don't tell Jack that.

Tinka said...

Good Morning Michael. Thank you for the information about a cruise that would welcome my "fur babies". I already had decided I would not leave them at the kennel again. Although they are treated very luxuriously there, Tango is getting old and I don't want to miss any more time with her. Tia is five years old in 3 more days but she is still a baby to me. She hates being left anywhere without me. A cruise on the QM2 sounds great to me.

Tinka said...

Bebbi - I think you were walking for me again because I feel very fit today. Thank you for doing that for me. Love you.

Tinka said...

Well it's noon here. Time for my little ones and me to take a nap. Have a great Friday Friend Owls.

Bebbi said...

Michael.. Good to hear. :)

Bebbi said...

Tink: Glad to do it! You should feel very loved today too..we walked in the Pegasus Parade for the Kentucky Derby and everyone LOVED us! :) Fit and Happy souls.

Bebbi said...

Tina: Yes, it is.. in the evening tomorrow. Soldat, Dialed in or Animal Kingdom are three faves. Personally, I am saying Dialed In..but I don't usually bet.

If it rains then it could be different the horses run different on a messy track.

Dianne/Denver said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY J/L....may you have many more happy and healthy years to come....Was your prime rib dinner last night for your Birthday? You and Custard sure have birthdays close to each other.

BARB: Glad to see you at first but so sorry you are still feeling sick. You should be on the mend soon...if not....time for the doctor!!

BEBBI: Seems like just yesterday you were giving us our Kentucky Derby memento instead of a year ago. I can hardly believe our meet and greet was that long ago.

TINA: Your food looks yummy. When are you coming home? Nice surprise to have your son home for awhile too. Now you have another person to help around the house :)

MICHAEL: I remember when you took that trip on the QM. How fun that they let you take your pets with you too.

Just came back from lunch and going to the Ass't Living to have my TB test checked and I am already to start with my Bingo calling on Monday.

TINK: You are busy with the blog and farms this morning a n d dreaming about George. I wonder if TINA is okay with sharing him in dreams with you?

LYNN; I am not sure about all the women in Kansas as I don't think I know anyone from there. Guess this Vet thinks he knows lol.

Dianne/Denver said...

ZONA: Did you go to the movie today or were you both too tired and will try it another day? You shouldn't stay up so darn late :) Hope you had a good day today.

Tina~in_ut said...

J/L~ my days are all confused...duh! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Di~ I'm home....got done with the conference yesterday morning and stayed to play until the afternoon and got home last night~ :D

Just_Lin said...

Hello, Feathered Friends. Thank you for the birthday wishes here and on FB. I had a wonderful lunch and visit with my daughter today. She gave me a pair of earrings to replace the ones she gave me at Xmas that I wore once and promptly lost one of them. I know! Anyway, now I have 3 in case I lose another or grow an extra ear. LOL She also gave me a beautiful leather Coach purse. I've never owned a designer purse before. I wouldn't spend the money on myself but it is nice and I will surely enjoy it. My son is away for the weekend so, woo hoo!, I will enjoy having the house to myself.

Now, I really need to work. I have a big stack of delinquent accounts that I need to write letters to. I should have done it yesterday but just couldn't get up the enthusiasm for it.

P.S. That was my delete due to two typos.

Tina~in_ut said...

what delete? :)~

Tinka said...

Dianne - I think Tina and I share dreams of George with millions of women out there. When you come right down to it there is nothing like a real life man keeping you company and a reason for living. I was going to say "keeping you warm at night" but then I thought maybe that was too risque so I didn't.

Tinka said...

Zona - I hope you and Mr. Z had fun today shopping and seeing a movie. What did you see?

Tinka said...

Just_Lin - It sounds like you were really spoiled today. Good for you. By the way, did Custard's card arrive today?

Tinka said...

Jack is home so I must look like I am earning my keep. I still haven't finished putting the living room back together since the carpet cleaners were here. I will start that and he will help me finish.

Tinka said...

Have a fun Friday night.

Tinka said...

50

Tina~in_ut said...

Tinka~ the "keeping you warm at night" part is nice too~ (although I'd prefer HOT!) :)~

Just_Lin said...

Tinka Yes, the present I sent to Custard finally arrived today. Now I can stop stressing about it.

I really need to start working here at home and I keep not doing it. Maybe I'll start my dinner and get it in the oven first.

Maureen said...

Good evening feathered friends!

SACBARB...I hope you are feeling better this evening.

JUST LIN...Happy Birthday! Hope you day was lovely and you night even better!

ZONA...you need to get more then 3 hrs of sleep. Hope you enjoyed your day with the Mr.

Tinka said...

I just bet you like it HOT. You are one hot mama.

Tinka said...

Just_Lin - I am happy that Custard's present finally arrived. I have had that happen too, paying extra to ensure early arrival only to find you must just as well sent it by pony express. Very frustrating.

Tinka said...

Hi Maureen - Are you off work now until Monday?

whabbear said...

OK, Owls. I really think Custard should engineer a sexual encounter with, um, Jack.

Why? No other reason than to perturb the world order!

Yours in subversion... ;)
Whabbear

Tinka said...

Bear - What are you drinking tonight? Love, Audrey who will not share Jack with Custard!!!!

Tinka said...

I think all the little owls have left the nest so I will just end with --

Saying good night is not just putting an end to a day.
Its a way of saying I remember you before I go to sleep.
Hope you can feel the care that goes with it.
GOOD NIGHT

Tinka said...

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Just_Lin said...

And Just_Lin will not share Custard with Jack! LOL

Just_Lin said...

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Just_Lin said...

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Just_Lin said...

64 My age.

Just_Lin said...

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Just_Lin said...

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Just_Lin said...

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Just_Lin said...

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Just_Lin said...

69 for the birthday girl. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Special thanks to HOdi for serenading me at the butt crack of my birthday.