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Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Professor, a good teacher

by Shirley


First-year students at the Saskatoon Vet School were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal's body."  
For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.  Now learn to pay attention."

42 comments:

Michael said...

omg....we've been Shirlied!!

and its hilarious...

Bebbi said...

That was so funny! Great one Shirley!! Good morning Shirley!

Good morning Michael! :)

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

MeeMee you are gorgeous!

Shirley LMAO! Disgustingly gross but funny as hell!

Morning Bebbi!

Bebbi said...

Zona (from Area 50 something).. I thought I saw that you had another dust storm. I thought I sent you a message on it. I wondered, is this something new or have you had them in the past? I don't recall reading anything on them before. Just curious. The pictures were fantastic too...very eery. Sorry it took me so long to comment on it... :) I'm slow but eventually I get there.

Bebbi said...

LynnD! Morning! I hope you are doing well today.

goldie said...

Good Morning Hooters!

LMAO Shirley! Icky, but funny.

I am barely hanging on.... at work and no sleep. Last minute change of plans last night and my baby came home a day early. Which meant he flew into Chicago, hopped on a bus and his loving mother drove downtown to pick him up at 1:30 AM! Back to bed at 2:30 and of course could not sleep. Oh well, small price to pay for 4 days with him.

Hitting the road this afternoon to go to sister's beach house in MI. So looking forward to seeing her and fam and relaxing by the pool...

Hope everyone has a great weekend too.

Michael said...

Hello everyone....and a gracious good morning....

For those of youse that watch AMERICAS GOT TALENT...my fav at this point is Lys Agnes. She is the beautiful braided buxom blonde that sang the aria "Habanera" from Carmen to splendid perfection. If you didn't see it look for it on youtube. The set...lighting...and she... looked fantastic....

And the guy that does Frank Sinatra off key made it to the next round as well.

Then we have Captain Splash. What can I say. He definitely splashes.

Of course both episodes of Roseannes Nuts cracked me up...

Now on to the vacation update....I talked to Tina last night and she was burned from snorkling (claims to have met Nemo) and topless sunbathing. Well...topless sunbathing until the rooster pecking incident!

She asked me why there are so many roosters EVERYWHERE!!!

One of the obviously unadvertised things about Kauai is that since hurricane InNiki the island has been taken over by chickens who had their coups upended then breed to the roosters that were cock-fighters. Roosters and chickens rule the island...thousands upon thousands of them and they are everywhere....they walk into restaurants and Chevron stations...you name it.

Kauai is the only Hawaiian island that doesn't have the natural enemy of the crowing poultry...the mongoose...

I say they bring in a couple hundred mongoose....but they didn't ask me yet...I am still waiting...

Now J/L!! ...before you discount this story look it up....ur pessimism has become tiresome! ...glares...

Hi Bebbi! Still blowin' the shofar I see!!

Michael said...

Goldie...

one of the biggest things in my life was my relationship with my Mother....we had a great time together....I think she is the only person that ever loved me unconditionally...

So your son is lucky. So much these days I am reading about what kids are put through because of school and family and it makes me sad because I wish they could have what I had...

I'm just trying to say...love and respect are the best....and I'm glad that you and your son have it...and I know how great the relationship can be...from my own experience....with a great Mother...

Zona said...

Good Morning!

SHIRLEY: That was funny!! I guess it does pay to pay attention!!

MICHAEL: Hellllo Gorgeous! Mr Z is loving AGT..as Howie now calls it..his favorite right now is..Snap Boogie..sigh..I was surprised that Professor Splash got through..he's a one trick wonder..and one of these times he's gonna be Professor SPLAT! Maybe that's the appeal?

TINA is wondering about the....roosters? I'll just leave that comment alone..though I'm tempted.. ;)

LYNN: I'm still hoping they listen to Warren Buffet..kwim? ;)

BEBBI: I don't remember getting your message..but FB has been playing fast and loose with my page lately..THEY decide what I get to see and not see..what gets posted and stays posted..so frustrating! We do get a lot of dust storms in the summer..very rare to get one this massive though..

GOLDIE: Yay! Your son is home..and you get to lay out by the pool..except for the lack of sleep..it sounds like you're going to have a great time! Safe travels!

FROM 51:

J/L: No..not bunions...CORNS!! I wonder if MICHAEL can then collect on those.. ;)

Have a good day everyone..try to behave....or not! ;D

Tinka said...

10

Bebbi said...

LOL Michael..yes...

The shofar blower keens a melody,
An old melody to God.
Above him—
A sky without stars,
Primordial darkness lost in darkness,
The shofar blower keens a melody:
Teki’ah, Teru’ah, Shebarim.

The blackness—a wind, a wall,
There is no congregation,
No quorum at all.
The shofar blower keens a melody,
An old melody:
Hallelujah.

Near him, an extinguished thorn,
As he stares into even blacker darkness,
The shofar blower keens a melody,
An old melody,
And waits—
The thorn shall begin to burn,
A flame shall inscribe on a wall.
Above him, a sky without stars,
And primordial darkness,
And deadly venom.
But this does not interrupt,
Does not silence the horn:

Teki’ah,
Teru’ah,
Shebarim

;)

Bebbi said...

Zona: I know, FB does that to me too..it's insane! Also, everytime I many times when I post a pic from my mobile phone it grabs an OLD pic that I posted months ago! So, if you see a new pic come up, it may not be something current. So weird!! I emaile dthem about it..but it's still happening.

Bebbi said...

The poem was by Kadya Molodowsky.

Bebbi said...

Michael, you Mom was blessed to have a son like you! :) I bet you and her had many fun laughing times. :)

Bebbi said...

you = your...where the hell is my editor?

Bebbi said...

Goldie! Have fun, I bet you'll get some great sleep by the pool!! yay !!

Just_Lin said...

Michael You look wonderful in first today but please stop sucking on your finger....

Well, as I understand it, they brought in the mongoose to get rid of the rats. However, they failed to research the fact that mongoose are not nocturnal like the rats. Piss poor planning, that. The mongoose are cute, though. :)

Just_Lin said...

Shirley That was so disgusting and funny! Where are you, anyway? We miss you around here. I hope you show up today.

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi I need an editor in my daily life.....ijs.

Bebbi said...

J/L: My wish list

1. HOUSEKEEPER
2. PERSONAL ASSISTANT
3. EDITOR
4. CHEF
5. CHAUFFEUR

Just_Lin said...

Goldie Well, that was great of you to go downtown in the middle of the night. You must be very tired so before you go to sleep by the pool, I hope you put lots and lots of sunscreen on, you fair-haired blonde beauty.

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi Yes, housekeeper would be at the top of my list, too. I do have a hairdresser who I need to go see in less than an hour. I better get moving.

Just_Lin said...

Waving at you both. I hope you have lots of smiles today. I need to get ready for my appointment. BBL

Just_Lin said...

24

Just_Lin said...

25 for Shirley

Bebbi said...

J/L: Have fun! :)

Michael said...

there she goes with the chauffeur again!!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Afternoon Michael, Bebbi, Lynn D, Goldie, Zona, Tinka and Just Lin. Thanks for the comments on the blog. I had forgotten I'd sent this in. I bet those students didn't make that mistake again!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Michael I liked your first comment. It made me smile.

Bebbi said...

SHIRLEY!!!!!! Hi! :)

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

I'm sorry I've been absent from the nest, but as I told some of you privately I have been in a "mood" and not very sociable. I know some of you will understand this. I'm sorry. I don't mean to ignore any of you.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Hi Bebbi!

Bebbi said...

Shirley: I get in those too...hang in there..very glad to see you today. :) Hugs!

Just_Lin said...

Shirley Yay! Love seeing you here today. I hope you are having some sunshine up there in Nova Scotia. Sending you hugs and smiles.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Hi Just Lin! Yes the sun was shining outside today. Thanks for the hugs.

Mary/MI said...

Shirley ,I had to stop by and tell you how happy I am to hear from you, and thanks for the morning laugh :)

Dianne/Denver said...

Great day to see Shirley and Mary on blog. Good funny blog Shirley Hi to everyone that flew by today. Took my husband in for that gross colon test today. He is a much better patient than I wouldhave been

whabbear said...

Shirley: Good to see you back! And, um... speaking of which... sorry I've been MIA the last couple of days. Combination of A) lack of access to laptop (it was up at the Apple Store participating in a data transfer with a new Apple MacBook Pro, so I can give my current MacBook to Jim as a birthday present), illness (respiratory virus, nasty), and overwork (many too many things due this week).

And you'd think with the shuttle retiring I'd be able to take it easy! LOL!

Michael: Glad you had that relationship with your Mom!

Goldie: Relax!

Hi to Bebbi, Zona, Tinka, J/L, Mary, and Dianne!

Dianne/Denver said...

BEAR: Hope you feel better soon. Sorry so much going on and you need to rest to get well....remember, you are over 50 now!!!

Just_Lin said...

Mary Waving a big, flappy wing at you....or would that be flabby? LOL Missed you around here, Pretty Lady. Please pull up a branch and stay.

Just_Lin said...

Bear So sorry you are sick. I hope you feel better soon.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I've never had that colon test. Have you? Every year I'm asked to mail in a stool sample. Isn't that comforting to know what's in the mail? LOL