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Friday, July 8, 2011

Why She Changed Motels

by Zona

Last week, she checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." 

She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call. 

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! 

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. 

We'll go all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?" 

He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

27 comments:

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moaning~

Tina~in_ut said...

and back to bed~

Michael said...

Well its about time....11:46 INDEED!! The very idea!

Michael said...

btw...I just finished this voodoo doll last night...

Michael said...

ok...where did you move the blog to?

Michael said...

Zona..

that was funny...I had it typed up and ready to send in too!! So I was very confused for a momento when Haboob finally got the blog up this morning.....

sacBarb said...

Zona,That was very funny. I'm taking notes for future reference...dial 9 for outside line!

Dianne/Denver said...

That was really funny. Thanks for the laugh. Getting hair done so hi to everyone

Michael said...

Get a beehive Dianne!! And real heavy eye liner that comes way out to a point!

Tinka said...

10

Tinka said...

I tried to check in before we left for the farm at 9:00 this morning. I thought maybe the blog had moved.
We are at the trout farm celebrating our anniversary, lst or 25th depending how you look at it. We are having a feast of fresh crab (my favourite) and salad tonight. It's messy when you crack open those legs but they are delicious.

Tinka said...

Zona - Loved your blog. Thanks for the laugh.

Tinka said...

Tina - Are you still in bed?

Tinka said...

Michael - For whom is this voodoo doll? Not me I hope. I believe in those things.

Tinka said...

SacBarb - I will remember too. Dial 9 first.

Tinka said...

It is a lovely summer day. I am sitting outside on our little deck enjoying the sunshine and the stillness. Be back tomorrow. Have a great evening.

Tinka said...

Dianne - I didn't see you there. I bet you look beautiful with your new hairdo.

Michael said...

Tinka....

when a voodoo doll has arms...like this one...it can only be used for good....to get rid of a cold or a wart...etc.

And no its not you!! But if you would like to send a small hair clipping along with a clipped fingernail or toenail....I'll be happy to make a "Tinka" doll...

and when you have a pain...I can fix it...but in all fairness I must tell you that sometimes I get confused and there is a small risk of blindness or death...or both.

I have never had anyone experience both though...

Let me know if I can help...

Just_Lin said...

Zona That was funny. Reminds me of a little accidental show that C and I put on during our last hotel stay. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I got myself a stylus and it is much better. Also, I can type by spoken word command but that isn't always accurate.

Just_Lin said...

Tina Did you sleep in because it is your day off? I hope you aren't sick.

Just_Lin said...

Michael You're a dollmaker! How sweet!

Just_Lin said...

Tinka Happy Anniversary to you and Jack. Wishing you many more.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Remembering to dial 9 is important. So is remembering to close the drapes.

Just_Lin said...

25

Zona said...

Good Evening!!

Thanks for the comments today..I'm glad you liked the joke..it really made me laugh..

TINA: I hope you're feeling better tonight..

TINKA: Happy Anniversary!! Have a nice relaxing weekend at the farm! :)

MICHAEL: Eeeek!! No voodoo dolls!

BARB: I think I might have my tattoo picked out..'Dial 9' ;D

J/LIN: Remembering to close the drapes IS important..but so is remembering to shut the sliding glass door..especially in an apartment complex..ijs.. ;D

The pool is really warm tonight..just might have to take another dip!

Have a good night everyone!!

Just_Lin said...

Zona LOL