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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

WalMart Greeter

by Zona

Jennifer, a manager at Wal-Mart, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.

'That's very good!' replied Jennifer.
'And now you sir?', she asked the second man.

'Hmmm....let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened.. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'

'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. ‘It’s hard to beat the speed of light,' she said.

Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question.

Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'

'WHAT!?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response...

'Oh sure', said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my pants.'

BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!

You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal-Mart from now on.
  

28 comments:

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moaning~

Tina~in_ut said...

I wanna be a walmart greeter~ :D

Thanks for the blag, Zona~

Michael said...

Urban Dictionary: explosive diarrhea

A liquid defacation so forceful you have to hold onto the toilet seat to avoid liftoff.

Michael said...

I'm winging my way to Houston in a few minutes... anyone need anything?

Just going to the mercantile (NM) for a few needed items...

Don't worry though....I'll be back in a bit to regale you with my usual thoughts and humor..political views.. as well as the occasional insult!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Splat!

I'm home from work and grocery shopping. Don't have to go out again till next Tuesday. Yay!!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

For some reason I thought of Tina after reading the 4th guys answer! Hmmmm.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Afternoon Tina and Michael!

Tina~in_ut said...

heyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!~ humpht~

Just_Lin said...

Tina Are you sure you want to be a Walmart greeter? Maybe you'd prefer to stock the Depends aisle. ijs

Just_Lin said...

Shirley This blog raises the question.....Just what kind of splatting are you doing in here, anyway?

Just_Lin said...

Michael Please pick up more toilet paper and air freshener. Thanks.

Just_Lin said...

Zona Thanks for ther blog (I think).

Mary/MI said...

Shirley....Well, shit!
Hope everyone is having a great day. It is cool & damp here. Not damp as in "depends damp", but raining off & on, so no workers tearing off our siding lol!

I love my Walmart greeter! He is a sweet old gentleman who always has a smile. The shoppers (excluding me of course), sure need to be attacked by Tim Gunn and "What not to Wear" peeps lol! PJ, with sport logos seem to be popular. Prolly would look etter without that brown spot in th butt area ijs.

Mary/MI said...

14 to keep it even

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Mary why did you say, "Shirley....Well, shit!"?

Zona said...

Hi Guys!

It's a warm day here today..I was going to go swimming..but Mother Nature plays a weird trick on us this time of year..the pool is really starting to get cold..and I figure if I'm turning blue while I'm swimming..it's probably not a good time to swim!

Thanks for the comments today..I thought this joke was cute..it made me laugh..so I thought it might make you laugh too.

Waving HI to all the Owls..I hope everyone is having a good day! :)

Just_Lin said...

Zona I wouldn't think that turning blue would be very refreshing. I guess fall is starting to fall.

I hope you're having a good day, too. I've been having a slight headache for a couple of days now. I think it may have to do with allergies. It's nothing like the migraines you get, just annoying. I feel like I'm frowning and I probably am. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Mary I sure have enjoyed all the pics you and Bev have posted of your two-day whirlwind visit to the West Coast. You sure did a lot in such a short time. Maybe our Wisconsin friends will agree to arrange the next BABB.

Mary/MI said...

I am LMAO, I wrote earlier "well shit Shirley". I meant to say "well shit Zona!, reffering to the blog. Shirley sent me a message on FB "Mary go back to the blog and explain yourself!" Sorry Shirley, no "shit for you", least not today Bwah ha ha!!

Mary/MI said...

Justlin, glad you liked the pics. I agree on the WISconson BABB.

Michael said...

yoo hoo!!

I'm baaack!! If anyone wants to hear the details...I picked up some lovely winter things....LOVE the colors this year...

xtra tp is in the hall terlit and I got some of that "smell of xmas" room spray!!

Tina~in_ut said...

oh goody~ bedazzled overalls....oranges/browns/greens~

Just_Lin said...

Mary We'll have to start petitioning our WISconsin friends about doing that. Maybe I could spend the night with Barb again, then together we can miss our first flight to Wisconsin, then make the next flight. We seem to have that routine down pretty well. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Michael Thanks for getting the spray and TP. Funny I asked you to get TP and I forgot to get my own at the store today. My mind is a sieve.

Just_Lin said...

Tina For some reason, you made me think of Mr. Greenjeans. I think he was a character on Captain Kangaroo's show.

Just_Lin said...

Shirley Thank you for not following Mary's command to shit. LOL

sacBarb said...

Zona, I think Bubba is one on my Hubby's Oklahoma relatives. I recognize his accent.

Tina, Congrats on moaning in first again.

J/L, LMAO. We DO seem to have that routine down, don't we? One of the terminals in our airport has just been remodeled and will be open next week, so we can try it from the new terminal this time. :)

Waving a wing to all the other Owls. I hope you all had a good day.

sacBarb said...

Zona, Our news showed that you had another big haboob today. It looked really BIG and messy! Our news guy said it was some kind of record that you have had four in such a short time. Someone in PHX has really pissed of Mother Nature. :)