Pages

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Why's of Men

by Zona

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER  DURING SEX? 
(because they are plugged into a genius)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? 

(they don't have enough time)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? 

(they don't stop to ask directions)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? 

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


5. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? 

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


6. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? 

(don't know.....it never happened)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart. Then you are just an old sour fart
!

26 comments:

Michael said...

BAMM!!

Bebbi said...

LOL ! Those were hilarious!!! OMG, number 4..holy mackeralanties..that was funny...vapor lock! *snort*

Michael said...

in defense of men...God made man before woman so the man would have time to think of an answer for the woman's first question.

AND! .....Men can open all their own jars!!

sacBarb said...

Happy Tuesday Owls.

I just put the coffee on to brew. Maybe the smell of cinnamon and vanilla will wake the others. Lynn's flight is scheduled for l:45 and J/L is going to leave too and I will once again be all alone. :(

Zona, Very funny blog. Having raised three boys (well, four if you count my Hubby) I can attest to the toilet seat one.

Good morning Michael and BAM back atcha.

Bebbi, Loved the pics of S.F. especially the clouds. :)

sacBarb said...

Morning Glories!

Some of these were very funny! :)

Getting my stuff ready for flying. I have to pack very carefully as I bought a few things.

I had a great time here and loved that I got extra time with Sacbarb and Just/Lin!

PS this is Lynn D

Michael said...

Don't forget ur hairnet Lynn. Flying is sooo windy!

sacBarb said...

Heaven Forbid MeeMee! I bedazzled it just for travel. I just think it is a disgrace that no one dresses to fly any more.

Michael said...

What ever happened to class....

Michael said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRQcoUJr-GY&feature=related

forgot to put this is my last comment...it was meant to be a comment with accompaniment...

not just a bare naked comment...

if thats not class I don't know what is! An accompanied comment!

I'll be signing autographs in the foyer...no pictures please...

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi Everyone......just got home from getting my flu short and blood work for a physical next week. Too many needles for me for a day!

ZONA: I loved the jokes and vapor lock made me really laugh. Are they really jokes or maybe facts??

MICHAEL: Congrats on first and the first BAMM of the day. You are being a good sport about all the men trivia.

BEBBI: I haven't seen y our pictures. I will go to your FB site and see if I can see them from there. I did see your driving video and scaring the heck out of MARY.

LYNN; Safe travels and relax when you get home. I'm glad you were able to stay for a few extra days.

BARB: Yum, I think I would wake up with those smells first thing in the morning. J/L and I are the same of late sleepers so she is probably going to go home and take a nap.

J/L: How long of a drive is it back to your place from BARB'S? I am so glad you all had such a good time. Again, I was really missing being with you all.

Hmmmm, where is Ms Moaning TINA this morning? I don't think she is off work so must be working hard.

Hope you all have a good day. And btw ZONA, I had no idea what your were talking about your one week anniversary yesterday until you told me....RUDE....celebrating a week since the Raiders beat the Broncos!!!! Now that is just hurtful..sniff sniff. (we won this week and the raiders lost,...does that count)?

Zona said...

Be vewwy vewwy quiet..I'm hunting wabbits... ;)

Thank you for the comments today..I'm glad this blog made you smile! I actually like #3 the best!

BEBBI: The pics on FB are just terrific..I'll have to message you about the one with the shoes.. ;)

MICHAEL: Dare I ask..what was the first question?

BARB: The cinnamon and vanilla sure woke me up!! :D

LYNN: Please check in so we know you're home safe and sound! LOL @ 'some of them'..I almost fell out of the chair! :D

J/LIN: Please check in when you get home too! :)

DI: Sometimes I think there's a fine line between the two..kwim? ;D

It counts for a win..but not for a win against the Raiders..LOL!

NCIS starts it's new season tonight..yippeee!

Have a good afternoon everyone!

sacBarb said...

Lynn's flight was delayed til 3:00. I just got a text that she landed safely and she and the Mr. are headed home. I miss her and J/L already.

whabbear said...

Missing everybody who was at the BABB too, Barb! And you too, Dianne!

Zona: Funny stuff!

Mary/MI said...

Cute blog Zona. You always make me laugh!
I am limited to online time until tomorrow after midnight. My air card is recharged then. It's a pain here in the boonies, with no internet hook up!
I will post my pics then.
Whabby you were a wonderful host! I can still taste that first drink George made me! WTH was in it lol!! I gave it to Karina. The one you made me was puurrrfect :)
Thanks again for a fun time!
Have a great night all.

iteach said...

Hi Everyone!

I just read a comment from one of my "friends" on Facebook who is mad that "gays can now shower next to each other in the military".

I was so disgusted from her comment. It makes me sick to my stomach.

iteach said...

So I knew I could find some good laughs to help me get that sour taste out of my mouth.

Thank you Zona for the giggles.

Just_Lin said...

Michael Congrats on being first, foremost, and most handsome today. I'm sure there is no part of this blog that ever applied to you.

Just_Lin said...

Zona Thanks for the hoot today. I really liked the vapor lock one, too. I got home in the early afternoon and recently returned from dinner with friends. I'm tiiiiirrrreeed. Doesn't mean I'll go to bed before midnight, though. LOL

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Thanks again for your hospitality and the wonderful time. I enjoyed every minute and appreciate it greatly. I'll be missing the company of you and Lynn.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I sure wish you could have made the trip for the BABB. We missed you. To answer your question, it was a 2 hour drive from Barb's to my house. Not bad at all.

Just_Lin said...

Bear Thanks again for opening up your home for the BABB 2011! Good food and good comaraderie. Jim may never be the same. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Mary and Bebbie It was soooo fun to see you both again. I wish our visit could have lasted longer. You sure did a lot in the couple of days you were here on the west coast, though.

Just_Lin said...

iteach Your "friend" is being stupid. Where does she think they were showering before for all these years?

Just_Lin said...

24

Just_Lin said...

25 Because it's tradition.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! Great Zona! You nailed it right on!