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Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Chauffeur...

by Dianne


After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
 
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.' 

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning..
 
'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 km's.. (Remember, the Pope is German..)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
 
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
 
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
 
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
 
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
 
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'
 
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
 
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
 
Cop: 'Bigger.'
 
Chief: ' A senator?'
 
Cop: 'Bigger.'  
 
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
 
Cop: 'Bigger.'
 
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
 
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
 
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's GOD?'

Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

31 comments:

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Splat!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Thanks for the giggles Dianne! That was funny!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

WAKE UP!!!!!!!!

Zona said...

Good Morning!!

DI: LOL!! I didn't see the punchline coming..very funny! :D

SHIRLEY: I'm awake..though why I get up at 6am on a Saturday..I'll never know..You look sunningly beautiful this morn.. :)

MiChAeL™ said...

Morning Shirley....

I don't believe a word of that! Everyone knows the pope has so much faith in god that he rolls in a bullet-proof Pope Mobile...

This current pope is more edgy than the ones in the past....I loved that photo of when his skirt blew up and he had on those fishnet hose...but as a homosexual I wish he would tone it down as not to perpetuate the stereotype...

Tina~in_ut said...

I smell an idiot~

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moaning, Shirley~ ur beautiful as always~

Zona~ I didn't see it coming either~

Michael~ it's God....not god~

Di~ I hope ur daughter is doing well today~ Thanks for the blag~

I'm sitting in bed....no one is home....this is the life~

Tina~in_ut said...

~Happy Birthday, Beverly~

MiChAeL™ said...

Tina...

thats what I said....god!

Wheres Jennifer?

Tina~in_ut said...

Mikey~ SHusH~

Just_Lin said...

Shirley Good morning, Sunshine! Well, gee, I guess you're starting to think about dinner while I sit here drinking my morning coffee. Hey, I'm a late riser.

Just_Lin said...

Dianne That was cute. Thanks for sending it in. I hope you check in with us and tell us how your daughter is doing.

Just_Lin said...

Zona Getting up at 6 a.m. on a Saturday just seems so wrong, especially when you don't have to. You need to stop that nasty habit. ;)

Just_Lin said...

Tina Are you out of bed yet?

Just_Lin said...

Michael I am missing Jennifer and Jodi and many others. I hope they come back soon.

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi Happy Birthday! I hope you are having a wonderful day. Now, when you're done celebrating get your skinny ass back in here.

MiChAeL™ said...

J/L...hi..

thats a blue footed booby...right?


Gosh...people got shot... stampeded and pepper sprayed as well as tasered yesterday...

I bet that if Tina would enlighten us about the bite marks on her leg and the bruises on her neck that we would find her shopping adventures interesting as well....

Just_Lin said...

Michael It's either a Blue-footed Booby or it's Tina in her new Crocs.

Just_Lin said...

By the way, LOL @ your avatar.

MiChAeL™ said...

lmao @ Tina in her new crocks!! Thats funny!!

Maureen said...

BEBBI...Happy Birthday!

DIANNE...very funny! I hope your daughter is doing better.

ZONA...Hi!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Just_Lin said...

MO Hi! Waving a wing at you wildly! I had a nice relaxing Thanksgiving because I cooked the day before since that's when the grandkids would be here. Thanksgiving was then a snap with all the leftovers. I read on FB that you had a very nice one, too.

Just_Lin said...

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Maureen said...

JUST LIN...yes, it was so nice and quiet. No kids, just Elaine, Sharon, Joanne and me. (Nicky, too but he really doesn't count!) And enough food for 100!! And the ever delicious monkey bread for dessert! I'm glad you had a nice day, too.

Just_Lin said...

Love Monkey bread but our tradition is to have the pumpkin pie and the requisite whipped cream. Right now I'm baking Jodi's mom's apple crisp. Can hardly wait to taste it. I made her soup earlier. It was yummy!

I just had to fix my typo as I had typed "money" bread. LOL I could sure use some of that, too.

Dianne/Denver said...

Hi Everyone---my daughter came home tonight from the hospital. She is very weak and dizzy. All the tests came back not showing anything so on meds and will see her own doctor next week (hopefully). I'm very worried about her Thanks for all the well wishes for her

Just_Lin said...

Dianne I'm glad your daughter is home. I know you must be very worried about her. I am inluding her in my prayers. (((HUGS)))

Bebbi said...

J/L..getting my skinny ass back in here...ha ha.. :)

Bebbi said...

Mo, thank you for the birthday wishes!! :) IT was a good day. I am getting ready to go back to work for tomorrow after a week off..uggh..