by Maureen
They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
23 comments:
Good Moaning~
Those were hilarious, Mo~ thanks for sending in the blag~ :D
Good moaning McTina! You look dreamy this morning
Oh yeah, you're welcome! I LOL'd when I read them,too.
I think my favoites are the one about the low self esteem meeting touse the back door and the last one!!
MO: Those were great! My favorite was the one about the church hosting an evening of fine dining..that really made me laugh!
TINA: Looookinnng Goooood in First this mornin'!
From 51:
J/LIN: How did your dinner turn out? Ours was really good. Talk about being easily influenced..I made roasted potatoes and carrots after you mentioned the potatoes.. :D
Santa brought me a box of Bottle Caps candy for Christmas..I am now addicted..lol..
Randy is home today..so I better git..things to do..
Have a good day everyone!
Good Morning Tina and Maureen - I woke up with that let down feeling I get when Christmas is over. The blog made me laugh. Thanks for sharing Maureen.
Good Morning Zona - I didn't see you fly in. Get all those things done and then call me.
Happy day after New Year Owls.
Mo, Loved this blog. I have actually seen some really funny things in church bulletins. I wonder what those electric girdles are like? Might be fun to have one of those!
Good moaning lovely Tina, Zona, Tinka and all the other Owls who will be flying in later.
I need to go online and get myself out of Jury Duty. I'm supposed to start Monday, the notice states "if you cannot serve for at least 14 days...you should postpone..." So I will see how long I can put this off.
Have a good day everyone. BBL
Tina Congrats on being first today. Mo is right. You are looking very McDreamy.
MO Those were hilarious! Brought tears to my eyes, I was laughing so hard. Great way to start the day and the year, for that matter. Thanks for sending it in.
Zona I justn s cut potato up in kind of large chunks and throw it in the pot for the last 20-30 minutes. This is how my mother made it. She grew up in Ohio and her father came from Menonite stock. I had leftovers for lunch. :)
Tinka Sorry you are feeling let down now that the holiday is over. I still have my tree up and I will miss it when I take it down.
SacBarb Gee, I guess you have a pretty good excuse for post-poning jury duty. I had to do that once because it conflicted with cruise dates. My reason was more fun than yours. The County didn't give me any trouble about it. I just told them I could do it after so-and-so date so they rescheduled according to that.
I'm glad y'all laughed at the blog.
TINKA...I understand about the let down feelings after a big event or holiday. Remember it fondly and start thinking about the next one!
SAC BARB...{{{HUGS}}}
JUST LIN...where in Ohio is your mom from?
MO She was actually born in Kentucky but grew up in Cincinnati. Her maiden name was Boese.
JUST LIN...Cincy is about 5 hours south of me. We do have a rather large Mennonite community in this area
MO My grandfather broke away from his Mennonite family when WWI broke out and he joined the Merchant Marines. After that stint, he joined the Army. He met my grandmother when he posted an ad as a "lonely soldier boy" who wanted pen pals.
JUST LIN...interesting family history! Very cool!
MO There seem to be a number of Boese's in the old Mennonite graveyards. We have an old photo of stern looking people all in black (like Quakers) in front of a log cabin. We don't know their names but we concluded that they were part of grandfather's family.
LynnD My grandmother's family were very protective of her. She was very petite and was not allowed to attend school. She did know how to read and write so she either taught herself or was home schooled. Her family forbid her to go to the train station to meet the soldier she had been writing to. She said she "cried her eyes out". She ended up sneaking out of the house and meeting him anyway. The rest is history, as they say.
Okay these were funny! Good Blog Mo!
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