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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

by SacBarb

Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough...
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

32 comments:

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moaning~

Tina~in_ut said...

Those were funny, Barb~ thanks for sending it in~

AND....after reading this....I'm convinced.....Michael is a woman~ :D

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Sacbarb those are so true, that I did not laugh now I am pissed off.

Morning Tina!

Michael said...

How dare you Tina Martinez!!

This is obviously a description of a hetero man. I am a gay man. I don't rent clothes or pick at my nails with a knife! My underwear is not cheap and 3 pairs of shoes are not enough!

This is no way is a description of me but I do enjoy this type of man. I like em big and dumb.

Tinka said...

Good Morning Tina, Lynn and Michael.

Barb - Loved the blog. They are funny but oh so true.

Tina - I prefer men like Michael, the sensitive kind who dresses nicely and wouldn't cut their nails with a knife.

Lynn - Some of them annoy me too. The one that used to make me angry was the fact that men could buy any kind of suit or pair of pants and the stores would hem them for free. If we bought a $200 pant suit we still had to pay the extra $10 to have them altered. I don't know if that is still the case because I haven't bought a pant suit in years but I can remember being really p---- off at that. People would laugh and say "It's a man's world!"

Michael - I love Maureen's chair. It's the kind one can curl up in and read a good book - looks very cozy.

I have an eye exam this morning so I guess I won't be seeing clearly for a few hours.

Have a great day everyone.

Michael said...

Hi Tinka...

The chair is made of Bacon...

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Splat!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

No! No! No! You ain't pullin the beef over my eyes Michael! That chair isn't made from bacon, it just has a bacon look chair covering over it!! My mother never raised no fools...well 3 out of 4 maybe but...

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

SacBarb that was a cute blog and very true! Thanks for the chuckles!

Bebbi said...

Barb, thos were great...! :) Good mornig Tina, Lynn, Michael, Tink and Shirley, errr..afternoonI mean.

Zona said...

Hi Guys!!

BARB: Funny and so freakin' true..especially..well ALL of them! There is so much more humor in truth sometimes..isn't there?!

TINA: I see it's still McDreamy..sigh.. ;D

LYNN: LOL!!

MICHAEL: Great chair for MO! Now..if you mixed my chair..with this one..and added some bacon aromatherapy..you might just have a little corner of heaven.. ;)

TINKA: It seems like anything men buy is cheaper than what we have to buy..from soap to jeans..all of it! That IS annoying!

SHIRLEY: I think it's safe to remove the hazmat..*aaacchhooooo* Maybe not.. ;)

BEBBI: Hello Sunshine! :)

Cloudy day here..and very quiet..sometimes that can be a good thing.. :)

Tina~in_ut said...

Tinka~ "michael" and "dresses nicely".....in the same sentence? lq~

Thank you everyone for ur sweet comments yesterday, but I have to say....it's a group effort and I appreciate all the blogs you all send in~ :D

Maureen said...

Good evening feathered friends!

I am so tired...I wish I had a nice chair to curl up in...

...OH, I DO!! YAY! And it is perfect! I'm glad it's not bacon scented or I may take a bite out of it!!

Thank you, MICHAEL.

SAC BARB...very funny! Loved them.

SHIRLEY...which one of the 4 are you? ija!

Hmmm...wonder if I can find a side table made of lettuce and tomato?

Maureen said...

TINA...glad to be able to help out

Tinka said...

Michael - I stand by my statement. It is a cozy chair. Please don't destroy my image of curling up in it by telling me it is made out of bacon. Are you sure it's not soft velvet cloth with a bacon design on it? Please say it is. I am getting the same sick feeling as I had when I saw Lady Gaga wearing the dress made out of meat. Ugh.

Tina~in_ut said...

omg....can you imagine if Mo's chair caught on fire? oh.....the smell of sizzling bacon~ :D

Tinka said...

After my eye exam this morning I am just now getting my sight back. You don't appreciate your sight until you lose it. I am having such fun tonight sitting by the fire and playing on my Mac Book. Jack is watching TV. Tango, Tia and Teddy are sleeping at my feet. The forecast for the weekend is snow. That should be fun.
Off to my farms.

Michael said...

How could I forget the companion pieces!!

The low end table grows lettuce and the tall double glass panel grows tomatoes!!

Sorry Maureen! Just put em near a window....

Michael said...

ah Tina...

hon you have something green between your teeth....oh would you look at that!?

Its a tooth....my mistake....

Michael said...

Tinka...

Of course velvet upholstery! Otherwise you would get all greasy setting in it!

GaGa's meat dress grossed me out too!!

Maureen said...

HOT DOG DIGGITY...BLT'S for everyone! M M Good!!

Michael said...

Tomorrow is Dianne chair!!!

Dianne/Denver said...

Wahoo. My chair tomorrow!!!! Hi everyone just dropping by to say hello and good night to all. See u in my chair tomorrow.

Just_Lin said...

Tina Sorry I didn't get here sooner to wish you a good moaning and marvel at your beauty. Now I know why you are always so good looking. I suspect it has something to do with living in the gayest city. I mean you're always so put together and really know how to accessorize, right? :)

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Thanks for the blog. I really did laugh out loud at men "know stuff about tanks". That kind of says it all, doesn't it? Doesn't matter what kind of tank it is, either. LOL

Just_Lin said...

LynnD You're right. Some of them highlight the inequity.

Just_Lin said...

Michael That really is the perfect chair for our MO. This chair thing has been fun. I look forward to seeing each and every one.

Just_Lin said...

Tinka I hope you saw that Michael explained that it is a velvet throw on MO's chair so she is nice and cozy and not greasy at all.

Just_Lin said...

Shirley LOL @ 3 out of 4!

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi Waving my wing at you. Don't be a stranger!

Just_Lin said...

Zona I bet you were spending a lot of your quiet day in that luxurious massaging chair that Michael gave you yesterday. Was there any vibrating involved? LOL

Just_Lin said...

MO Yum! I love BLT's. Thanks for the additional furniture, Michael.