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Friday, January 13, 2012

More Men Stuff

by Sac Barb

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT


When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

 
BATHROOMS


A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.


The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

 
ARGUMENTS


A woman has the last word in any argument.


Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 
FUTURE


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.


A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 
MARRIAGE


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.


A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

 
DRESSING UP


A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

 
NATURAL


Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.


Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 
OFFSPRING


Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.


A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

37 comments:

Michael said...

well....looks around....well then BAMM!!

Michael said...

This is LynnD's meditation and relaxation chair....it comes with a nice bag of Maui-Wowie!!

Its great for those times when driving your car off a cliff or opening fire in a crowd just isn't convenient...

Tinka said...

Good Morning Michael. You look handsome in first place.

I love Lynn's meditation and relaxation chair. What is Maui-Wowie or should I use my imagination?

SacBarb - Those comments are great. I don't think I have over 300 things in the bathroom but I know it's more than Jack has.

It's frosty here this morning and snow is predicted for Sunday. I would like to see some snow. It never lasts more than a few days. Then I feel like we have had winter and the snowdrops can start popping up.

Michael said...

Hi Tinka!

Maui Wowie is marijuana....always heard it was some of the best. I can't talk from experience since I have never been a marijuana aficionado but his is what I hear.

But I must say that if I were stressed and there were some marijuana lying there...I would be tempted to give it a whirl...

Michael said...

and I don't know that Lynn would want it....it just came with the chair...

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

LOL Sacbarb. All of those are true!

Michael I love this chair! But I really love the Maui-Wowie! Wish it were legal.

Waving at Tinka!

Tinka said...

Good Morning Lynn - Glad you like the chair Michael bought for you. It looks pretty neat. Spend an hour a day in that and you will be ready to take on the world.

Thanks Michael for the info. (Who says this blog doesn't educate????) Never touched the stuff however and don't think I ever will - unless of course the doctor prescribes it. LOL

Tinka said...

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Michael said...

and Tinka!

A dear friend that is a from Bryan originally but has lived in Portland ..Salem...Chicago...L.A....and his favorite city Denver but is in Boise because he changed from an airline career to going to nursing school and is now an RN....wrote me last night and asked me if I am staying in Bryan...now that Lisa is gone. And said that he is ready to do something crazy...like move to Vermont or NY....

We were in love when we were young and have remained friends all these years....and he even went so far as to call me by a pet name he had for me way back then...

Well it wasn't until I was talking to Tina moments later that it hit me! Was that a proposal!!! ..lol

I am going to counter with moving to British Columbia...

and even if I have read more into it than it is...it still gave me a thrill and much needed smiles and it warmed my heart...

We still love each other...he just wasn't ready to settle down when we were young and I was...

I am thinking long and hard about my response to his note...he made it a point to put his "highlighted" phone number at the end of the note...lol

But I want this feeling to last as long as possible...so I will respond to him in a note...maybe tomorrow...I actually want to jump on a plane!! And have our eyes meet across the crowded airport and run to each others arms to the strains of Vangelis Chariots of Fire!!

Of course it would have to be in slow motion because the airport in Boise is small...

Just_Lin said...

Michael Congrats on being first and the best looking of us all. Great chair! The added accessories ain't bad, either. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Tinka Now that would be great! Just a few days of light snow just to emphasize that it's winter. It would be lovely and not too inconvenient.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD Due to the accessories in that chair, I would suggest you create a little snack bar to have next to it and maybe a mini refrigerator. That would be for after you have the full meditation and relaxation experience, of course.

Just_Lin said...

Michael That is exciting and I don't blame you for wanting the moment to last. At this moment all things are possible, are they not? Just be careful of those Boise men. They can break your heart.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb These were even funnier than the ones the other day. I really laughed out loud to the one titled "Natural". That is definitely me!

Just_Lin said...

I just realized that it's Friday the 13th.

Michael said...

Washington Post‎ - 1 hour ago
CAIRO — Officials at Cairo's international airport confiscated 420 pounds (190 kilograms) of frozen cow brains Friday from three Sudanese travelers

Tina~in_ut said...

Michael~ congrats on sexiest~ Love the chair~

Tinka~ no snow....no snow...no snow~

LynnD~ I think the weed would help you enjoy your chair.....ijs~

J/L~ I LOVE Friday the 13th~ I must shower and get out and enjoy it~ :D

Sackie~ thanks for the blag~ I love the money one~

Lynn D said...

Good Afternoon everyone. I hope you all took a turn in the meditation chair and partook in some Maui-Wowie!

Michael I really hope this is leading to something special with your old friend. I totally get wanting to hold on to the magic for a bit too.

Waving at Just/lin,Tinka and Tina!

sacBarb said...

Michael, another perfect chair today. The Mowie Wowie is a nice touch too.

Tinka, I hope the snow drops start popping up soon so you can enjoy them.

Lynn, Thanks for letting us take a turn in your chair. I am all relaxed and meditated now. :)

J/L, You definitely DO NOT deteriorate during the night. I've seen you in the early morning and you didn't even have bed head.

Tina, YW. My fave was the argument.

Maureen said...

Good evening feathered friends!

That chair looks comfy cozy, too! No Maui-Wowie for me, but I'll take a ride in it anyhow!

MICHAEL...go for it, but slow and steady. Good luck.

TINKA...it is def winter here. It started snowing last night and on it continues. We are expecting 4 - 8 inches and there are up to 40 mph wind gusts and it is COOOOOLD. Can I say I hate winter? LOL!

Just_Lin said...

Tina Is your cold better? I was out and about. How about you?

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb I probably ran my hands through my hair before you saw me. ;)

Just_Lin said...

MO I think your avatar expresses it perfectly.

Tina~in_ut said...

J/L~ cold all gone.....gave it to a co-worker tho....she wasn't too happy~ :)~

Just_Lin said...

Tina I guess you were still had the holiday spirit....the season of sharing.

Tina~in_ut said...

I'm a giver, J/L~ :D

Tinka said...

Michael - I am so sorry. I skimmed through the posts this afternoon and completely missed your telling me about your love story. It is a beautiful story and I certainly would have answered immediately if I had seen it. It sounds like a serendipity story to me and you know they always have happy endings. Keep us informed and enjoy the happy feelings. (((Hugs)))

Tinka said...

Lynn - Do you feel relaxed yet? Did you meditate?

Tinka said...

Just_Lin - The snow is supposed to start tomorrow night. Kevin was coming down the Island at 5:00 am tomorrow morning to meet Jack and go with him to Vancouver to get fish from his producers. Jack has not made any trips over there since his incident. It is going to rain and then the temperature is going to drop below freezing. I am so afraid of Kevin being on the Malahat with black ice (it is quite a steep mountain) so Jack has cancelled the trip. I am so relieved. Snow is fun for a couple of days if you don't have to drive in it. Black ice is even worse. Now I hope it snows tomorrow when schools are closed and the kids can enjoy it. Then the snowdrops can pop up by the end of the week.

Tinka said...

Tina - I know what you mean about "NO SNOW". I taught up in Northern B.C. in 1962/64. That is where I met Jack. He was my Vice Principal at the time (even though he was only 23). It snowed in November and I loved it for Christmas. I was on outside supervision on the last day before Easter holidays and the snow was blinding. I thought "What is wrong with this picture?". A little snow is nice. It takes about 3 days and I have had my fill of it. Tango and Tia come indoors with snowballs hanging from their fur - not pleasant.

Tinka said...

SacBarb - I hope you are feeling well tonight.

The snowdrops pop up by the end of January and the daffodils start showing their beautiful yellow faces in February. I love daffodils.

Tinka said...

Zona-my-Baby - I didn't get to talk to you on the phone today so I am sending love over the air waves. Are you catching the waves? Love you, Tinka

Tinka said...

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Tinka said...

SacBarb - Thanks again for the early morning laugh. It's fun to start the day that way.

Tinka said...

I will leave all you little owls with a poem (I did not write).

Sleep well tonight

Night is come by, so set your bed and go to sleep,
What lies ahead of you, are lovely dreams.
May all your problems and worries melt away,
For tomorrow is going to be a brand new day!
Good night!