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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

CHILDREN WRITING ABOUT THE OCEAN

by Maureen

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Richard, age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
8) Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)
13) On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
14) The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)
15) My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

20 comments:

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories!

Mo lol at the kids stories about the ocean. Except for the poor kid with the pregnant sister.

Zona that was wonderful that the tire guy at Costco was so honest! There is hope glimmering here and there.

On the run today need to get farming and then skedaddle.

Michael said...

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

All are hilarious...thats my favorite...

Maureen...ur on a roll!

Michael said...

HI LYNN!!

Michael said...

on a sad note...

Eugene Polley, an inventor whose best-known creation has fostered blissful sloth, caused decades of domestic discord and forever altered the way consumers watch television, died on Sunday in Downers Grove, Ill. Mr. Polley, the inventor of the wireless television remote control, was 96.

sacBarb said...

Mo, those cracked me up. I didn't know a dolphin breathed through the asshole on top of his head. We really DO learn something new every day!

Michael, On the Tonight show last night, Jay Leno announced the death of Mr. Polley. The younger generation isn't aware that TVs were ever made without a remote control. When I was a kid, I was the remote control for my parents.

sacBarb said...

Hi Lynn, how's the painting coming along?

Zona said...

MO: I love the one about the eels plugging themselves into chargers! Can you imagine these kids reading their papers to the class? That would be so cute..a definite must see!!

LYNN: I sure wish there was more than a glimmer..ya know?

MICHAEL: My father in law refused to use the TV remote..EVER..he always said it was just as easy to get up and change the channel..I never did understand that..

BARB: Randy and his brothers and sisters never stopped being the remote for his dad..lol..

Just_Lin said...

LynnD Congrats on being the most glorious of all the glories today. Btw, I loved that you used the word "skedaddle". :)

Just_Lin said...

MO Those were very funny. I especially liked the dolphin breathing through his asshole on top of his head. Also, I bet a lot of people would stop diving together if it meant they'd have to go down on each other, too. LOL

Just_Lin said...

Michael I had sad news last night. A friend of mine, age 96, passed away last Sunday. What a dear man he was and so many great stories. He used to be a catcher and scout for the San Francisco Seals baseball team before they became the Giants. He grew up in the North Beach area of S.F. and played ball in the streets with the DiMaggio brothers. He was such a sweetheart and I will really miss him.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Getting up and down to change the channel wasn't such a big deal in the early days. There were only a few channels and they weren't on all day and night. You had a brief commercial on the hour and station identification at the half hour. It was the rearranging of those damn rabbit ears that was a real pain in the ass.

Just_Lin said...

Zona Think your father-in-law was resisting technology much? LOL

Maureen said...

Good evening feathered friends!

Thanks for the comments today! I thought these were so cute I just had to send it in!!

I'm glad you enjoyed them.

Maureen said...

TV's were made without remote controls? That must have been way before my time!!

Maureen said...

I heard a nasty rumor...tv's weren't always color. Say it isn't true.

Zona said...

J/LIN: That's an understatement!! Randy's mom and dad never had a microwave..they wouldn't use a Mr Coffee..only an old beat up percolator..his dad made us return the VCR we bought him..but finally gave in a kept the second one we got him 2 years later..and trying to convince him that CD's sounded good..omg..it was like pulling teeth! I really think Randy's mom would have embraced new technology given half a chance..she knew it would have made things so much easier for her! One thing they did let us buy them was a bread maker..only because his mom refused to make homemade bread any more without it..lol..

Zona said...

Blogger asked for my phone number again..and when I said NO they wouldn't let me post..thank goodness I copied my comment..that was the third time I tried to post it..boy are they sore losers!! ;)

HI MO!! Ok..anything for you.."It isn't true" :D

Maureen said...

ZONA...phew...thanks for saying it!!!

My mom wouldn't use an ATM machine. And after she stopped using the percolator it was only instant coffee! She would put water in the chinick and put it on the stove! But she did use the microwave!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Splat!

Evening Owls! I have had a very long and tiring day so I am about to head to bed. Maureen I too liked the dolphin breathing out of the asshole on top of it's head!! LOL!

Maureen said...

Once,mom decided she wanted a toaster oven. I'm not kidding, I took her to dozens of stores. Finally I told her that I would not look at one more store and if she didn't get one then she would never have one! So she bought one and NEVER even used it! She was afraid of it!!! It's one of the few things I kept. And guess what? I've never used it!