Tuesday, May 15, 2012


by Dianne

Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and Chuck go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and Chuck will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and
romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!


Tina~in_ut said...

Good moaning ~

Tina~in_ut said...

Di~ thanks for the blog.......I especially liked the thought for the day!!!~

Tina~in_ut said...

Shirley~ do u think u could fix breakfast today? I really feel like having some scrambled eggs, hash browns, toast, bacon, and orange juice!!!!

Lynn D said...

Morning Glories,

Thanks for the morning laugh Dianne. Those were funny because so many are true. :)

Waving at Tina!

Zona said...

Good Morning!

DI: So true..loved the 'Money' and 'Argument' ones!! :D

SHIRLEY: Save yourself some work..order TINA's breakfast from Denny's.. ;D

HI TINA and LYNN! :)

Dianne/Denver said...

I want breakfast too from anywhere. Good morning everyone.

I wonder if JL is rich yet from that ship casino. I hope so.

Zona-----I'll take Denny's. Now u and Tina r making me hungry for breakfast

Lynn---I thought a lot of them were true too.

Time to put my nurse hat on and check my patient.

sacBarb said...

Happy Tuesday Owls.

Dianne, I really laughed at the "world is their urinal" because my boys loved camping for that very reason...and I hated it for the same reason.

I hope Louis is feeling better.

sacBarb said...

Lynn, are you at the beach?

Tina, you are lovely today and you don't look hungry to me.

Zona, I agree with the 'argument' one so I didn't think it was funny. :)

Just_Lin said...

Tina Have you been moaning the whole time I was gone?

Just_Lin said...

Dianne Thanks for the blog. I especially like the arguments one. Like SacBarb, I think it's true.

No, I didn't win money in casino but I sure spent enough time there. I didn't lose terribly, either, so it was worth the price of the entertainment.

Just_Lin said...

LynnD Waving a wing at you.

Just_Lin said...

Zona Waving to you,too, in sunny Arizona. I came home tonight to fog.

Just_Lin said...

SacBarb Is that the only reason you didn't like camping. I can think of lots more. LOL

Dianne/Denver said...

Welcome home JL---tel us all about your trip I've been thinking about u and all the fun u were having on the ship. This time last year and the year before, we were headed on a cruise. Boo hoo. Now we r playing nurse and patient. Oh well, maybe next year.

sacBarb said...

J/L, That was only one reason I hated camping...there was a really long list. We only went once as a family. The rest of the time they went with the scouts. I was a cub scout leader and I planned camping trips for the boys, but my Hubby and some other fathers took the kids. After that first time I went, I told him that from then on my idea of roughing it would be a motel with no TV. ;-)

sacBarb said...

Good night and sweet dreams everyone.