by Shirley
He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it
I said to him .... . . You wear pants don't you?
He said to me .... . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart
He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . ..... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. .. I don't know; it has never happened.
He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.
He said....What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said. . . A widow.
He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him .. . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
48 comments:
pretty~
Oh Shirley~ those are cute~ I like the first one the best....not that I've ever heard it before...nothing like that~ :)~
WOW!!! I'm bowled over by my own beauty!!!!~
Morning
Going to see my accountant and. Hipe he makes a withrawal---if u get my drift
Shirley: Those were fun! LOL I love those types of jokes. Thanks!
Good morning Pretty Tina! Congrats on fabulous first.
Good morning Dianne!
Morning Glories!
Tina you are lovely this morning.
Shirley love those! Especially the last one! Thanks for the morning laughs. Funny how there is a grain of truth in each one.
Ok so I got rid of my ingrown toenail but ended up nicking a chunk out of my toe. So I am still hobbling around. This better clear up in the next day or so or Tina will have to carry me around Chicago. IMJS
Lynn: Good morning! I want to see Tina carry you around..lol. :)
i'll pee my pants if i carry anyone~ ijs~
Oh, Tina, even more fun. Where your depends woman..haha.
Can you believe it? I mean..seriously in just a few days we will be in Chicago. I am really excited!
I'm already peeing my pants from coughing.
Shirley. Thanks for the smiles today.
Who's prettiest toay? ;)
Good Morning all you lovely Hooters!
I liked that Shirley- gave me a good chuckle.
Busy at work, hope to get back later.
Can't wait for Chicago!!
Saturday
May 01
Scattered T-StormsHigh 67°F
Low 51°F
Precip 40 %
Sunday
May 02
Scattered T-StormsHigh 63°F
Low 51°F
Precip 40 %
Monday
May 03
ShowersHigh 66°F
Low 48°F
Precip 40 %
Wow! UGGH! Chicago weather..oh boy.
Happy Monday Owls.
Shirley, Thanks for the laugh today. I especially identify with the toilet paper one, having raised 4 boys (hubby included there).
Tina, I didn't think of you when I read the first one...really! P.S. We have See's.
Dianne, um...good luck with the accountant!
Bebbi, So, was there plenty of "kilt action" on the weekend?
LynnD, Put some Neosporin on that toe and it will help heal it quicker.
J/L, Do I need to put a rubber sheet on the bed?
Goldie, Don't work too hard.
Zona, wake up!
Mary, Glad you are home safe and sound (well safe anyway) just in time to leave again.
Waving to all the Owls. BBL
Sacbarb..OH YES! I got an eye full. haha.
omg Bebbi~ someone came in ur eye? yuck!!~
Umm DeeDee I think something went wrong with the spell you gave me yesterday. Is there a reverse spell I could use? 3 clients fainted today when they saw me and 5 just screamed and ran out. It doesn't seem to be very good for business.
Loved the funnies!! Shirley, you should post those in your office so people can have a laugh when they come-to.
As for Chicago.... SHADDUP!! We're having clouds, showers and partly clouds, whatever the f that means. It's flippin' cold and 6 of us have the bloody flu.
I went to check on the cars and we seem to be missing 2 of them. Not exactly missing, we just can't find them. Or it could be flu-induced dementia. I don't know. I'll try again in the morning which for me, is pretty much in a few hours.
This must be what being drunk is like. You're not quite sure that what you're seeing is real or not.
Tina! LOL, No..that is an expression that means, "I got to see a lot"...But, here's to cum in ur I....LOLOLOL..you crazy woman.
Um: Bonachichi...cars are kinda big to LOSE!
SacBarb No worries. I stocked up on Poise pads today.
Just watched a story on the news about the high murder rate in Chicago......and the axe murderers haven't even arrived yet. Hmmm...
Oh, Bebbi... You must have missed the blog about when we "lost" 200 cars. On an airplane. 2 are not so hard to misplace after you've gone and sent 200 of the buggers to the wrong country.
Well I'm glad I could make you all smile and laugh today. I'm heading to bed. We have had lots of people bring in last minute bags and boxes full of receipts for us to do their tax returns. Then they want to know how quickly we can have it done. I just tell them when it's done WE will call YOU, and it will be by Friday. Good night everyone!! OMG...only 4 days left!! I can't wait!!!!
Good evening feathered friends.
SHIRLEY...I really needed those funnies today. Had a crappy day.
Found out today we will not be getting raises at all. The Directors, who make 60K and up were so freaking cavalier about it. Couldn't they wait until after my vacation to tell me this? Let me enjoy my time off instead of thinking I shouldn't have taken the time so I can save it to sell back and give myself a raise. Ugggh
I'm probably over-reacting, but I am just pissed off.
It sucks also because when Nicole and I took on this responsibility we were never given a new job description or any remuneration for the job we are undertaking. I asked my boss last year about it and she said they would have to write a new description and that is a lot of work. I said...SO? This year, when we got our evaluations, most of it was N/A because we don't do the job that is described.
Out of all the "team assistants", as to which we are still called, we are the only ones with a college degree. We are the only ones that have any real command of the English language. They work with 10 or less clincians each and we each work with 1/2 the entire agency. When one team assistant is absent (there are 2 on a team) they get assistance from the supervisor or one of us. When one of us is absent, we get no help and have to cover each other's job.
It's just not fair.
I know, I am thankful to have a job.
Maybe I am just overtired.
Sorry, 'weenie! Sounds to me like you have a legitimate complaint, though!
Shirley: LOL@one look in bed and head to the fridge!
Hi Everyone!!
I rushed right over when I got word about the mishap with Shirley....
I don't know what could have gone wrong....thats one of my best spells...wait a minute...look at this....expiration Jan 2010....
OMG that spell was expired!!
Tell you what....I have to get rid of J/L's duckbill Wednesday during the full moon...I'll just throw a reversal on you...
In the meantime you may want to "brown bag" it....ijs...
cute blog....thats good...you still have your sense of humor...thats good...now lets see....boil and bubble..no...shake and bake....no thats not it!!
excuse me everyone...I have to get busy.....
Mo, no doubt you're getting the short end of the stick. But you've still got a stick. By all means, look for greener pastures, but be smart about it and do it very quietly.
DeeDee, your voodoo curse went berserk!! Now undo whatever it is you did to make half my team sick!! I need all of them, and their pansy-ass complaining is really getting on my nerves!
The pastures in Cleveland are brown. No greener pastures, so they know they have us by the short hairs.
It kills me. The clinicians that COST the agency money have no reprimand. Nicole and I, who obtain the reimbursement for services get no credit. We call in for pre-auths, we fight for the retro auths, I have actually negotiated with our supply vendor for better prices, we research all the errors the clinicians make and fix them so the visits can be billed and reimbursed. The clinicians can keep fucking up...costing the agency money and so it goes...on and on and on.
I need to calm down
That's the thing nowadays.."they" know your stuck with your stick in their muck. So all you can do is say F@#K! This sucks.
Mo..they have you by the proverbial..you know whats.
There was a PT that never documented his visits. He did enough to have it show up and get paid for it. I reported it repeatedly, that he was way behind in his charting, yet we still had to pay him for each visit because he said he did it. Well, the scum bag entered visits on a patient that was IN THE HOSPITAL. He got caught and was fired. The son of a bitch STOLE the agency laptop. To top it off, since he no longer worked there, they opened every visit he "made" and they were blank. They had to write off EVERY fucking visit. THOUSANDS of dollars that we couldn't bill for because undocumented visits amount to fraud. I reported this months ago...where is managements responsibility in this?
That's wild, Mo...amazing too..how do people get away with that crap! And, he's probably doing the same thing someplace else..just do your job..
BEBBI...I know. I couldn't even think of those things to do. I reported a nurse that would merely copy and paste her notes from one visit onto the next visit. She did have different vital stats on each visit, but the clinical notes were all the same. I found this when an insurance company asked for the clinical notes and when I printed them I discovered it. Of course I had to BS my way around it and I sent only the pages with the vitals on them.
What happened to the nurse...NOTHING.
The funny thing is, we have been named an ELITE HOMECARE agency in the country for 3 straight years! Imagine the crap that goes on in lesser agencies!
I think I need to read SHIRLEY's jokes again.
*shaking head* It's unbelievable the stuff that goes on.
Me too. haha. :)
40..had to do it.
Okay..off to bed really late...I am never going to catch up on my sleep..but I got a bunch of videos uploaded to FB..lol. Night all.
Maureen I'm very sorry that you and Nicole are not being properly appreciated or compensated. From what you've said, it sounds like the people in management are not doing their job very well at all.
This may double post, glad I "saved it". I pushed "publis and it disappeared!
Good evening hooters!
Shirley, thanks for the hearty laughs, very appropriate today!
I think I have finally settled down! I spent all day yesterday and today washing,folding and putting away laundry,buying groceries,cleaning toilets(men!),dusting,changing bedding,sweeping,moping, & cooking breakfast & dinner. My hubby requested enchiladas as usual. I swear he is part Mexican lol! I will only be home 6 days and then heading for Chicago, so I am catering to the poor neglected man lol!!
Mo,How in the hell do you untangle that mess? I would think they would give you a bonus just to make sure you don't leave!
Tina, I sure hope you lighten up on the red lips, could scare the hell out of the hotel people! ijs!
Diane, you really have to break it off with the DDS! Even I couldn't take that much drilling (u no what I mean eh?)!!
Bebbi,I noticed your avatar,,,um, are you airing out something?
Bonachi~How many fingers am I holding up? Squeeze them eyes really hard and you may find them cars right where you left them lol!
LynnD~ OUCH! Toes are sooo sensitive!
Justlin,sniff sniff,time to change them depends?
SacBarb,I think my hubby is getting used to my globe trotting. I just tell him Tina got me addicted!! For some weird reason he liked her when we met in Utah last summer.His taste leaves a lot to be desired lol!!
DeeDee, Can you do a long distance spell for? I need one for my Niece Raquel's neighbor. Raquel left her to care for her fish while we were on our cruise. While we were waiting for our return flight the neighbor texted her. I read it. It went something like this.." Your fish is dead, I killed it cuz it was yours". I'm the one who turned you in for having the puppy (she didn't know you had to pay extra to keep it). She gave her pup to a friend. She (neighbor)also said "I hope you have fun paying the $600 penalty!
Raquel was in tears! Why are some young people so dam mean?
Sorry for long post, but had to get it off my mind!
yup, it double posted lol, that was my delete
Geez, Mary, that neighbor sounds like a psycho bitch. Seriously. The neighbor does not sound like a normal person. I would advise your neice to move.
Mary: Just aiming and ready to fire.... (my avatar)... ;)
Good morning all!
Thanks all for your comments and commiseration.
I am going to head into work today with a positive attitude and just do my job as I always do.
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