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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Real Life Wisdom

by Shirley
1 I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2 Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong

3 I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4 There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5 How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6 Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

7 I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

8 Bad decisions make good stories.

9 You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

10 I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

11 I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

12 I hate leaving my house confident, looking good, and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

13 I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

14 I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

15 I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

16 How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

17 I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an A-hole from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

18 There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

19 Sometimes, I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

20 Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

21 Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get off your ass and open the door.

I'm sure that some of us can relate to at least one or two of these little pearls of wisdom. For me it was numbers 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 14 and 16. How about you?

41 comments:

Tina~in_ut said...

okay...please tell me you guys can see the blog today!!~ I can't at work....but that's normal for this computer~

Tina~in_ut said...

p.s.~ I'm REALLY pretty today~

Dianne/Denver said...

I am lovlier since I still haven't gone to bed and am practically first.....

Dianne/Denver said...

sorry to say there is no blog. The title "As I Mature" is there but then nothing else....

So I am not only lovlier but smarter as I was able to answer the question first

Dianne/Denver said...

Think I will go for a dip in the pool before I hit the hay...I'm like ZONA today....whoops.....no pool....problemo (see I am learning Spanish Tina)

Dianne/Denver said...

BTW TINA,I have been getting my fields harvested and plowed. It was hard as no one wanted to work today but it is done for you.

Dianne/Denver said...

Where are you early birds....DEEDEE, LYNN, SHIRLEY

bonachichi said...

Obviously, as we mature, our memory goes out the door. Which is why "someone" forgot to add the actual blog. It's like abstract art. You have to make shit up as you go.

Good morning Tina & Dianne!

DeeDee said...

morning!!

who screwed up the blog?

Dianne! Thats some good Spanich! I like ur accent too!

night.owls.sb said...

What the crap are you people talking about?~

bonachichi said...

Okay, either we're all nutters or someone pulled a fast one. First, the blog was, "As I Mature" written by SacBarb. Except there wasn't an actual blog to go with the title. Now it's something else entirely. I'm off to read!

bonachichi said...

Shirley, very wise pearls, there. Can we add one?

If you fall into the toilet, don't tell anyone; your friends will never let you live it down.

Dianne/Denver said...

Yup Chi Chi, it is a whole different blog that what was on this am.

SHIRLEY: I am so one of those people that carry all the bags in so I don't have to make another trip....actually, I could relate to a lot of those...another one about folding the fitted sheet..I look like I have never folded in my life with those sheets! Thanks for all the fun blogs you find so often.

Dianne/Denver said...

I still think I am the loveliest today....sigh.....

night.owls.sb said...

Di~ ur wrong~

iteach said...

Cute blog today Shirley!

I can relate to 5,6,9,14,15 and 20.

The one that got the biggest star was number 15. ;)

East Bay J said...

Good morning!

I can relate to #s 5 and 14. I will read them slower tonight when I get home from work and may have more to add! haha!

Good morning to Tina, Lynn, Bona, Dee Dee, Carol, Di and Jennifer.

Have a wonderful day!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Back to back blogs, who knew! It's 12:25 here in NS, dark and rainy and I'm just getting up, so good afternoon Tina, Dianne, Bonachichi, DeeDee, Carol, Jennifer and EBJ.

Dianne I have 3 sets of stairs to carry my groceries up and I need one hand to hold on the railing. I put them on the stairs and as I go up I keep putting them on a higher step. It would be easier to make a couple trips, but I like doing things the hard way!

I need to get something to eat so I'll be back later. Behave!

goldie said...

Good Morning Hooters!!

Yes you are tina~
Shirley- I can relate to all of them! I love your bits of wisdom and wit--I never get tired of your blogs. :)

Last day of vacation.. ;(
Home, and things to do. Like the fact that we have no food...lol
Laundry to do, and ail to sort through...

So on that note, I am going to lounge and go play golf this afternoon! LOL

It was one of our best vacations ever-started with winning at the Casino on the way there, and on the way back!! The weather was awesome, we had some great times with the grandkids and kids.

Hope you all have a good day!!

Tina~in_ut said...

Sackie~ Sorry about ur blog....I posted it....but had this feeling that it wouldn't post like it previewed!!!! AND IT DIDN'T~ SO...I'll re-do it for tomorrow~ :D

Shirley:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

AND

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

But I totally CAN'T relate to this one:

2 Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong

bonachichi said...

Tina, why am I not surprised that you've never been wrong?

That fitted sheet one, I've dealt with. Each week, I strip my bed, wash the sheets and put them right back on. Just so I don't have to fold those stupid sheets.

If there were a sarcasm font, it's the only one I would ever need.

sacBarb said...

Good afternoon Owls.

Tina, no problemo. I learned that from Di.

Shirley, Thanks for those pearls. I thought ALL the fonts were sarcasm fonts. #3 and #7 spoke to me immediately.

Waving a wing to all the Owls. I hope you are all having a good day.

sacBarb said...

I ushered again last night for SPAMALOT and it was even better than it was on Sunday. In case you don't know the plot, it takes place in the middle ages and revolves around King Arthur, but it has many modern day references, as is so common with Monty Python. Well, last night they added a line that wasn't in Sunday's performance. It was "by the way, isn't that guy from Braveheart a dick?" The audience of 2,500 cheered.

Mary/MI said...

Tina,blame the computer go ahead jeesh!

Shirley. I could relate to too many of them,especially the snooze button,dressed up for nothing word perfect and # 16..."WHAT?" LOL!!

Waving at Diane,DeeDee,Bonnachi, Jennifer (I still miss "iteach"),Carol, EBJ,& SacBarb.

Sacy & Diane, btw I couldn't find anyone to work for me last night!! Tina did it all by her lonesome ;-)

Mary/MI said...

Goldie,Golfing is a much better option! Glad you made some $$ at the Casino, and had a great vaca!!

Mary/MI said...

SacBarb, that was a good addition! Cracked me up!!

Maureen said...

OMG...I can relate to all of them!!Great observations on life, SHIRLEY!

iteach said...

Well, that was short lived.

Found out why he wanted to come back. His mom told him to find a place and so did his brother. He found out how expensive it was to live on your own, so that is what drove him back.

So we had a huge fight and I'm on my own again. Finacially, I'm totally fine, emotionally, I'm a wreck. I have to find my strength again.

bonachichi said...

Jennifer, there is a word for people like that. Parasites. Let him go. Give yourself permission to start a new life.

Tina~in_ut said...

Love you, Jen~

whabbear said...

Hi, everybody! Waving at you all!

Well, my absence used to get blamed on my blog... but I can't even fall back on that lame excuse this week. It's good old fashioned work... I just got in after another 11 hour day... because we're running subjects in a study next week, and the software to run the simulations and record eye movements isn't integrated yet, and I'm going crazy!

To make matters worse, it's Lazy Bear Weekend this weekend, so I have to take Friday off... no choice!

And to make matters even worser, I'm doing a major renovation on of McCann Manor. All the contracts are signed, but now the hard part starts... overseeing the work, having to move out while they rip out and replace my ceilings, bathroom, kitchen, floors, etc etc.

AArrrrggghhh! Hope you are all having peaceful, lazy, blissed out summers... I'm certainly not! LOL!

But at least I can express an opinion... Diane and Tina are tied for prettiest owl!

iteach said...

So Dingaling wants me to have the house, but he wants to live in it during his weekends with the kids.

So I asked him where I would go and he said a hotel.

I said "no" and now he thinks I'm being difficult.

Isn't that what the Gosselins did? Do you think I was being mean?

sacBarb said...

Jennifer, It sounds like he wants it easy for him. I don't blame you for saying no. He needs to take responsibility for being a Dad when he has the kids and figure out how to care for them in his environment, not yours. I agree with those Owls that said listen to your head and not your heart and it sounds like you are doing that. ♥

sacBarb said...

Going to bed early tonight. Good night and sweet dreams to you all.

Just_Lin said...

Jennifer As time goes on, the house will be your home only and NOT his. You would not want him there, going through your stuff. Keep him out!

Waving at all the beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent owls. Yes, all of you. : )

Jodi said...

JENNIFER - You are totally not being mean. I think you have been MORE THAN FAIR with him so far. Again, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Jodi said...

SLIN - I see you!!

Waving a wing at ALL my HOoters!! Time to go get prettied up for work. Muah ♥

Tina~in_ut said...

Jennifer~ Janice and I are appalled.....he has some nerve! I'd say yes if it was the best for the kids.....but that sounds so confusing for them! "Hey...dad kicks mom out of the house every other weekend!" idiot!!!!!~

Maureen said...

JENNIFER...tell him NO. It's time he became a man. He doesn't want to have to provide toys, food and shelter for his children...just let you keep doing it and he will mooch off of you on the weekends...NO WAY.

Don't compare yourself to Kate Gosselin. You are far more intelligent, beautiful and sane then she would ever hope to be. She is a fake reality star and her interests lie in herself, not her children...imho!!! You are far better then her.

You are one strong woman and you and your children will flourish.

{{hugs}}

Maureen said...

Good morning TINA and JANICE!!!

Maureen said...

I better get prettied up for work.

Shit, I should have started a week ago :)~