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Monday, July 26, 2010

Why God Made Mom's

by Jodi

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
 1.  She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
 2.  Mostly to clean the house.
 3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
 1.  He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
 2.  Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring..
 3.  God made my mom just the same like he made me.  He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
 1.  God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
 2.  They had to get their start from men's bones.  Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
 1.  We're related.
 2.  God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
 1.  My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
 2.  I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
 3.  They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
 1.  His last name.
 2.  She had to know his background.  Like is he a crook?  Does he get drunk on beer?
 3.  Does he make at least $800 a year?  Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
 1.  My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my mom eats a lot
 2..  She got too old to do anything else with him.
 3.  My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
 1.  Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball..
 2.  Mom..  You can tell by room inspection.  She sees the stuff under the bed.
 3.  I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
 1.  Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
 2.  Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
 3.  Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you    want to sleep over at your friends.
 4.  Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
 1.  Mothers don't do spare time.
 2.  To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long...

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
 1.  On the inside she's already perfect.  Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
 2.  Diet.  You know, her hair.  I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
 1.  She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I'd get rid of that.
 2.  I'd make my mom smarter.  Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
 3.  I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

83 comments:

Tina~in_ut said...

yay!!!~

Tina~in_ut said...

I'm so pretty!!!!! YAY!!!~

Tina~in_ut said...

Jodi~ thanks for sending the blog~ I love these:

God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

They say she used to be nice.

lol~

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Tina isn't vanity some sort of sin in your religion?

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Cute blog Jodi! I love hearing what kids have to say! I think I will send this to my sister Marilyn.

I liked the diet one too Tina.

Bebbilane said...

Jodi: Love this!

My fave: What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean

That was awesome, great way to start a Monday.

Oh yes, Tina, you are so pretty in first today. :) YAY!! ^5!

Bebbilane said...

Shirley: ROFLMAO! Love it....hope your day is great.

Jodi said...

TINA - Oh, pretty one ♥

I liked the diet one, too!! I'm dieting mine au natural ;)

SHIRLEY - Good morning!!

BEBBI - What do you have on tap for today?

DIANNE - I need to give credit to your brother BRUCE for this blog!! He always sends me the funniest stuff ♥

Jodi said...

Have to run....Sam forgot her ipod, so I'm overnighting it to Amboy. Trying to get in to get my hair cut before I have to report to Armada Cadets band camp and help serve lunch. Tim is stoked about camp this year. Mr. Lane the band director has promised him that he gets to be the center snare drum.

Jodi said...

10!!!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Morning Bebbi and Jodi!

Re. Area 51: Tina I'm sorry but I didn't watch your video. I'm not a MJ fan. I do like some of his songs but I don't like the way he sings. Sorry.

Re. Area 50: Bonachichi I don't think I would prank neighbors unless they were really good friends. I live in an apartment building anyway so while I'd like to PUNCH some neighbors, I wouldn't Prank them.

Re. Area 49: Bebbi and everyone else who thinks I have courage...thank you. You guys obviously see things about me that I can't see for myself.

Jodi said...

SHIRLEY - I don't think you realize all your wonderful gifts. You're a wonder person, and most of all FRIEND ♥

Bebbilane said...

Jodi: Love, light, clarity (working on that one)...what about you? Are you working today and spreading that KwikStop love? :)

Bebbilane said...

Shirley! :)

DeeDee said...

Hi everyone!!

I just love these "kids say" things!!!

lol at "what is butt dust".....

thanks Jodi Capote!!

Today marks the first day of my

ETIQUETTE TIP O THE DAY CONTEST

on Mondays I will take an etiquette question that one of you might have and answer it for you.....things that just aren't covered in your "run o the mill" books on manners.....

and remember....we only have time for one question per Monday and please limit your questions to 200 characters or less. If your question is not selected you may resubmit it on another Monday....and each month we will have a prize for the "best Question"...


Prizes will be assigned to those who have been identified as winners.

Players will be informed at the close of the contest if they are a winner, and if a player is identified as a winner, what prize has been won. Winners will receive their prizes via mail after the contest has completed and winners have been verified. Taxes and delivery fees, if any, are the sole responsibility of the winner. ETIQUETTE TIP O THE DAY, INC., and its agencies assume no responsibility or liability for any damages, losses, or injury resulting from the acceptance or use of any prize.

Acceptance of prize offered constitutes permission to use winner’s name and/or likeness for purposes of advertising and trade, worldwide in perpetuity, without future compensation, unless prohibited by law. Prize winners will be required to verify address prior to awarding of the prize. Entering the contest is considered a confirmation of eligibility on behalf of the enterer in accord with these rules and any pertaining local/federal/international laws.

All programs and guarantees are subject to terms and conditions.

Mary/MI said...

I there happy hooters!
Even you pretty Tina :)

Jodi, it was fun reading all the kids comments. I would hate to hear what my boys would have said! I am sure it would include "she used to be nice" lol!

Shirley, Didn't you know? Tina has never sinned! Just ask DeeDee!

Shirley,Loved you "area 49,50 & 51" updates :)

Bebbi,Loved your sunny pic this morning! :)
Jodi have a fun day at camp!!

Puppy update :
(if you remember She is finally house trained!!!!!!!!!!
Back to your previous comments...

Mary/MI said...

DeeDee, HEH??? you are a nut!! A nice nut, but a nut! lol!!

sacBarb said...

Happy Monday Owls.

Jodi, I love hearing what little kids have to say on any subject. They have such an unfettered perspective on life until they become jaded by the rest of the world.

I think my favorite of these is "mothers don't do spare time." Even though they are funny, they all have a basis in truth. I so remember the days when all three kids were in sports and each having a game or practice at the same time in a different place and coordinating schedules with all the other Moms. Ack! I just got a headache.

bonachichi said...

Oh, Jodi... Kids are so wonderfully innocent and honest. Thanks for the laughs!

DeeDee, here's my Ms. Manners question:

When you have a guest over and the dog starts to hump their leg, you pull the dog off. Fine. What do you do when the dog becomes infatuated with said house guests' leg? I mean like, he won't stop?

sacBarb said...

Tina, Good morning Miss Pretty. I'm sure my kids would have said "they say she used to be nice." In fact, they may still say that.

My kids were always looking for the eyes in the back of my head. I would tell them they only came out when I wanted them to.

sacBarb said...

Jodi, Yay for Tim. I bet he is excited.

DeeDee, How would you like the etiquette questions submitted?

I am cleaning out a file cabinet. The city where Sharon lives is offering free shredding on Saturday, so I am taking the opportunity to purge all my files.

Waving a wing to all the other Owls. I hope everyone has a great day.

Bebbilane said...

Okay DeeDee..so do we get to ask an etiquette question and you get to choose to answer it or not?...?? Because if so, I have one.

Bebbilane said...

Sacbarb: I so need to clean out all my paperwork. I did it a while back but it needs it again.

Mary: Glad you liked my smiling face this morning..how do you like my new reading glasses..haha. My boss asked me if they were from a pepsi or coke bottle.. He's the orneriest boss ever! He's not my favorite boss thouh, that one is Italian and grew up in Manhattan! AND, he took me and my son fishing the day we cleaned and cooked the fish. Oh, he's a DOLL! MMmMMMMMm!

Bebbilane said...

Etiquette question: If you think you sent someone a thank you card, but can't remember for sure, is it better to send another or just hope you did the first time? Better to get two or none? That's my etiquette question! haha.

DeeDee said...

Since today is the first day for the....

ETIQUETTE TIP O THE DAY CONTEST
I will do my best to answer all questions submitted here (sacBarb)

Bonachichi.....I have just posted pictures of the BEST invention for "everyone" to see on my FaceBook page.....its a doggie sex toy....this would take care of your problem....
Until you can secure one...don't inhibit puppie with Victorian ideas about blindness and shame......they must be allowed to express themselves....
Belle has one of these toys and she has almost rubbed the feet off of it from pushing it all over the house!!

And Bebbi dear...Bebbi Bebbi Bebbi......I do all my addressing in Microsoft word and name the file accordingly so I have a record of what I sent and what I said.....always......
However....since you are not sure....simply find a really "cute" TY card and say "I thought of you when I saw this darling card and figured I hadn't thanked you enough".....

that way you are covered and they are none the wiser to whether or not you are a forgetful lame-brain...and of course I say that with love.....lq

Zona said...

JODI: These are so darn cute! My favorite one is 'God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.' LOL..love it!

I like the eyes in the back of the head one too..I never could figure out how my mom always caught me doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing. When I was about 5 I asked her how she knew everything, she said "An angel told me.." I said "I hate that angel!" Thanks for the grins this morning!

TINA: A standing O for your prettiness! YAY!! :D

DEEDEE: LOL@ the 'fine print'..

SACBARB: They only came out when they wanted too? I can just imagine your boys watching the back of your head..lol..

MARY: Isn't the 'finally house trained' day great?

SHIRLEY: Courage, strength, intelligence, humor..you have all that and so much more.. :)

BEBBI: Good afternoon Sunshine! Heading over to Youtube to see what I can find! :)

BONACHI: Nero is finally out of the system restore files..and things are running much better..thank goodness!

Zona said...

DEEDEE: Here's my question..if someone has owed you money for a while and you're not sure if they've forgotten they owe it, just don't have it..or are simply not paying you...how do you go about politely asking them for it without embarrassing them...or yourself?

Tina~in_ut said...

how much do I owe you?

Bebbilane said...

I was thinking the same thing, lol. Did I forget to send money?

Zona said...

LOL!! No one owes me a penny!!

A long time ago my mom loaned money to a cousin..they never paid it back eventhough they bought a new car, boat etc. when they got back on their feet..I've always wondered how she should have handled it. She just let it go..never asked for the money because she didn't want to cause any problems within the family..

bonachichi said...

OMG, Zona! Nero really screwed up Mr. Z's computer? I wish I'd known sooner. It sounds like it was quite a ride. Next time remember... you have your very own pet geek. I'm always available!

DeeDee, I like the doggie sex toys. Why not? Give the little guy a thrill!

sacBarb said...

Zona, I have Uncle Guido take care of those problems for me, but perhaps I should try a gentler approach. I'll await DeeDee's response, then decide. :D

Bebbilane said...

Shirley! You are fine on FB, teasing me about my exercising. I can't respond on there right now cause my phone died and I had to take it out to my car to recharge. That is the only way on FB at work.

Bebbilane said...

Bonachichi: You will appreciate this. My son comes over last night with a new computer. And, he's been bugging me about Lenix..so guess what I have to learn! UGGH..and Ubuntu..and Picaso..good Lord, I told him I am too old for this shit! Not even sure if I spelled Lenix right...uggh..

Bebbilane said...

My other son has a laptop I have been using though, I might just stick with that..LOL...it's kind of nice.

Bebbilane said...

Oh and something called Gwibber too..not sure what that is!

Bebbilane said...

SHIRLEY!!! Put that comment back right now. I thought it was funny. I was just trying to be funny when I said, "RUDE"....I didn't think it was really rude..I was laughin! :) :) SOoooo/....put that back right now. :) please. And, heck, you never know..you may be right anyway ;)....nah, but I can take a joke, honey, really I can! :)

Bebbilane said...

I am going to have to just get someone to take a video of me exercising to prove to you that i am really doing it..lol. :)

Bebbilane said...

Shirley: I only know that you removed it because I tried to reply in gmail notification and it said it had been removed. I can't go on FB until after I get out of work.

Bebbilane said...

40 just cause.

Zona said...

BEBBI: I tried to post a video..it said I had to be logged in, but I was logged in! Oh well..if there's a difficult way to do something easy, I'll find it.. ;)

DeeDee said...

Zona....

The best thing for me when I am asked for money is to consider it a gift and don't expect to get it back...and I tell people...this is NOT A LOAN...If you pay it back thats fine....if you don't thats fine too....because If you want the person to have the money its the only way to prevent it screwing with your relationship with the person...
And if you can't afford to give it away at the time....simply say so.....but never give someone money just because they say they will have it back to you before you have to pay your electric bill....9 times out of 10 that will leave you in the dark...

Now if this is a situation involving a large sum.....say... that little property on the Fifth Helena in North L.A. that we discussed...its ok to call Tyrone and DeMarcus to break some bones....you know....splatter some brains...

DeeDee said...

so Bebbi...I hope you weren't offended when I referred to you as a lame-brain...

I just said it to try and get a rise out of you...but if ur trying to pull off "demure" today...thats ok....

Bebbilane said...

DeeDee: No offense taken..I was not being demure. I missed the comment! Only a double lame brain would do that..LOLOLOL>..and good idea, I will do that. I want to send a thank you card to my lawyer. He rocks. He's gotten me out of my past two speeding tickets..hehe.. I LOVE THAT GUY! And, when I say "got me out of them" I mean, dismissed...no record whatsoever.

Okay..praying to the God to please help me keep my driving under the speed limit..my luck is going to run out..haha.

Bebbilane said...

I think I sent him a thank you but I am not sure I did...I sent out several cards...

Tina~in_ut said...

DeeDee~ Nice pic of ur ass~ btw....can I "borrow" $80,000? :D

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

OK here's my question for "ETIQUETTE TIP O THE DAY CONTEST".

You are having a small black tie dinner party for your closest 20 couple friends. One couple have only been married for 3 months. They can't keep their hands off each other. As the orchestra is playing they are dirty dancing and tongue swapping in the middle of the ballroom. At dinner the couple continues their behavior. You can tell it makes the other guess very uncomfortable. When do you say something and what should you say to this couple?

bonachichi said...

Bebbi, it's spelled Linux, and it's an excellent operating system. Red Hat and Ubuntu are the most popular "flavors". I am at this moment writing a Root Kit to hack another Linux spinoff, BSD. You go girl!!

bonachichi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bonachichi said...

I am strolling through the comments... Bebbi, Gwibber is a multi-function social networking tool in search of a practical application. Twitter meets my needs and I've not jumped in to Gwibber yet.

bonachichi said...

That was my delete, folks. I've been in and out all day, then Bebbi got me all hot and bothered with her dirty, nasty Linux talk. My nipples got hard.

DeeDee said...

Shirmela....(Shirley)

Sooo many options here!!

If it were my party...I would cut in....get some of that good stank on me.....send "her" to the punch line....

or....perhaps take a water hose to them....

or have Photographer video tape them as the rest of the guests yell "Money Shot"...

give them the keys to the guest house and send them out there...

or...in seriousness....

the host could quietly tell them they have a phone call...get them alone and tell them she didn't want to embarrass them...but to keep their tongues in their mouths and their bulbous naughty parts in their drawers or get out....

Mary/MI said...

Bebbi, you have made me smile many times, but you have NEVER made my nipples hard! lol lol!!

Bonachi, I will be needing your brain when I go to Europe this fall. I need info on cheap international phone gizzmos,doodads or what-nots.

My ETIQUETTE TIP O THE DAY CONTEST
is...
You are running a Karaoke business and a few friends sing like a cat scratching the blackboard and giving orgasm to the family dog, and they ask you in a sweet way,,"How was that?". Do you "kind of lie", or hurt their little feelings?

DeeDee said...

Tina!!

Thanks but thats the pic of you that you sent after your last salon appointment...hot roots! hot roots!

ha ha ha....you know I am petite!!

$80,000? Done! OMG does this mean you finally want me to help you start a decent wardrobe!!??

START BURNING THE POLYESTER!! I AM ON MY WAY!!! PRASISE THE LORD!!!

Tina~in_ut said...

omg!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! That money isn't a new wardrobe....duh....that's not enuf money!!!! That's just for college.....for the first kid~ :D

and another thing, DeeDee honey....ur not petite.....unless of course, you think petite means FAT~

oh....and Carol is the only one who makes my nipples hard~ ijs~ :D

Mary/MI said...

Oh Carolllll, I need youuuuuuu!!
I have a couple big nip, er projects for youuuu!!!

Bebbilane said...

Mary: Just wait honey...I couldn't get my hands on em cause Tina was all over you! hehe

Bonachichi: Glad I got you going but I think you might love my son...!! He is the controller of the "Mama on Linux" Crusade..lol.. Oh Gosh..all I can say is...I am too old for this shit.....

And, I am on the other son's laptop until he takes it away..hehe.

DeeDee said...

Sister Mary....

You say...."Oh that was fun!!?"

of course I have seen many people do karaoke that have had their feelings spared so many times that they actually think they are good...and they are horrible....can't even carry a tune!! Monotones!!

or an alternative is to ....(if they are bad)....just turn off the music....and tell them you can't allow them to humiliate themselves that way.....NEXT!!

night.owls.sb said...

Tina..

Well then I am glad I stopped by!

;O)

night.owls.sb said...

LMAO..

Zona asked the question to Dee about money..

Tina said: "How much do I owe you"

LMAO!!!!

night.owls.sb said...

OMG..

LMAO.. "start burning the polyester"

HA!

night.owls.sb said...

Jodi..

Cute blog.. and quite funny.. kids do sat the darnest things.. I used to like that Bill Crosby show.. He was so funny, and kids cracked me up!

night.owls.sb said...

Mary..

You def kinda lie.. :O)

Tina~in_ut said...

64~

Tina~in_ut said...

65~

Tina~in_ut said...

66~

night.owls.sb said...

Shirley..

Simply put..

"GET A ROOM"

:O)

Tina~in_ut said...

67~

Tina~in_ut said...

69~

Tina~in_ut said...

Zona~ thank you~ :D

Di~ thank you~ :D

Di~ and the hubby thanks you too....although he wants to know why he gets the farty one~ :)~

night.owls.sb said...

Tina..

Where the heck did you come from?

Tina~in_ut said...

my mommy~ :D

night.owls.sb said...

Just read all the comments..

Dee.. you sure did have some great replies to the questions.. my fave..

"turn off the music" LOL

Tina~in_ut said...

I have to say.....I just finished watching the Brickyard 400.....such a fun race...and I LOVE the winner~ AND....bonus....Dale Jarrett was one of the commentators~ YAY!!!!~

night.owls.sb said...

HA.. I thought you were going to say Utah or Mexico or California..

You got me.. did not think of that one!

night.owls.sb said...

What is there 400 bricks in a yard?

Tina~in_ut said...

it used to be full of bricks...now just the start/finish line is made of bricks~ (smarty pants!)

btw.....i've been meaning to tell you.....every time I sign in here...I type MY email address and YOUR password! (doesn't work!)

night.owls.sb said...

Oh well that clears is up.. NOT!

HA.. I would think not.. I am sure its gets kinda confusing tho..

Tina~in_ut said...

not hard to confuse me~ :D


GO TO BED!!!!!! wait....I have to go to bed!~

Goodnight Carol~ mwah~

night.owls.sb said...

Nite TinaHO!

:O)

bonachichi said...

Good night, Mary Ellen!

G'night John Boy!

Just_Lin said...

Good night and sweet dreams, HOoters!

Jodi Thanks for the very cute blog today. I like the "she used to be nice" one the best. LOL

Bebbilane said...

Good morning! :)