by Tina~in_ut
I haven't talked to him in a week. Well.....he tried to talk to me Friday night, but it was 10:31pm, I was just finishing a movie, and it was way past my bedtime! I said no! I know I'm the so-called adult, but I'm sad, I'm hurt, I'm scared, and......oh crap.....I'm furious!
When I saw Janice at work last Tuesday, she said, "Guess what my son did!" I took one look at her and said, "I bet my kid wins!" She shook her head and said, "No way!" Her 25 year old son got his 18 year old girlfriend pregnant! Okay, so she wins! It doesn't lessen how I feel about my son, though.
In the grand scheme of things, what he did probably isn't THAT bad, but it's upsetting to me. It's not something that I'd ever want my parents to know about......not for me, but because they don't need the stress. It's one thing to do something stupid or embarrassing, but when you do it and risk your health, that's just reckless. It shows his immaturity.......even if he is a big bad adult at 18!!!!
When someone posted on FB that she had a "child" clearing her fields and chopping down trees in Frontierville......without even being told, I laughed. If only raising children was that easy. The older they get, the harder it is. I see what my parents are going through with my brother and SIL and it's exhausting. I see what some of you go through with yours. There is no escape. I really think that when a child is born, the mother should be required to proclaim, "Til death do us part!" because that's truly what it is! They may leave your house. They may leave your city or state. But they never leave your heart!
Don't get me wrong. I love my kid. Maybe that's part of the problem! I should have learned to hate all of them, then I wouldn't be so disappointed or hurt. This too shall pass. I just wish it had passed me by altogether~ Raising children is a bitch!
38 comments:
1
OMG>..OMG>..OMG> I got one.
ha...~!
Boy, Amen to that Tina! It is hard..and it is a job until death do you part..!
I have been through a few "hurts" like that. It is so hard because you want so much for them..and then they take two steps forward and one GIANT step back. ouch.
I found the most painful thing for me was the punishment. I understood that it really did hurt me more than it hurt them. But, you have to do it.
HUGS!
Good morning Owls...come out, come out, wherever you are! :)
wow..did everyone get lost? maybe I should screem really loud~!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhh~!!!
okay, really I do know how to spell scream.
I am off all this week..so be prepared..I will be the marching queen..haha.
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Ummm, have I missed something? What is said son suppose to have done that has caused so much heartache? Or is that private and this is just a raving mad mother's rant? Either way Tina I'm sorry that motherhood is upsetting you so much right now. ((HUGS)) Try closing your eyes, sticking your fingers in your ears and very loudly singing LA LA LA LA LA!!!!!
Morning Glories!
Bebbi is prettiest today!
Tina, I tell everyone who will listen that as they get older the harder it gets. The worries are bigger and the helplessness is bigger and the problems seem bigger. They will falter in their steps to becoming an adult and all we can do is pick them up when we can and learn how to let them take their own lumps when needed. Freaking hard!!!
Seems that between 18 and 30 is the hardest part of all. imjs
If someone had told me that as a Mother you are never done I would have thought long and hard before I had any children, married someone with children etc.... :) This to shall pass. I repeat this often when dealing with the kids.
Good morning Shirley and LynnD!
LynnD: You said that so well. :)
Morning Bebbi!! Congrats on prettiest today!!
You don't have to scream dear, I heard you the first time!!
I had a fabulous dinner yesterday and two margaritas and fell asleep on Angel's couch. Shit I am such a party animal! NOT!
Out cold for 3 hours. Mr. Lynn D says he kept checking on me but I think he just stayed outside and visited with the other party goers. :)
Waving at Shirley and Bebbi!
The rest of the owls must have really done the 4th up and are still in bed.
Good morning fish murderer.....
fish decapitator....
I have seen my dog Blue sucking the entrails from a dead rabbit (insert Hannibal Lector slurping sound) but I didn't photograph it....
That photo of that bucket of fish heads and the bucket of fish bodies that I assume those heads were once attached to sent me into screaming...running...orbit!
Bebbi darling did you have an attack of hillbilly dear.....?
and I have been meaning to ask you....is that Havana Rumba by your Walmart as good as I think it would be??
Hi Lynn and Shirley!!
Sage advice Shirley....excellent!!
Good Afternoon!
TINA: I can't really comment on raising kids cuz I've never done it..but I was one once..and boy did I give my folks fits..and guess what? Most of it happened when I was 18. I know you know what your son did was reckless..but beacause he's young, it probably didn't seem so bad to him..which is why he's lucky to have a parent like you, one that loves him enough to let him know that he messed up. I was struck by the fact that he wanted to talk to you about it..that shows he cares that he hurt and disappointed you and he wants to fix things. He'll probably never do it again either. I know once my folks told me how much I frightened them with some of my teenage antics..I thought twice when confronted with those situations again. One thing I never, ever wanted to do was hurt or scare my folks. You are a great parent..you've raised a great kid..things will be ok. I know..easy for me to say, right? But I wouldn't write it if I didn't believe it. Hang in there, you'll see.
BEBBI: Hi Beautiful! I just heard you scream..sorry I'm a little slow today.. :D
SHIRLEY: LOL @ lalalala..boy that's good advice for so many things anymore!
LYNN: My mom use to tell me 'you may be in your 40's..but you'll always be my baby..' She always worried as if I was just a little girl..annoyed me then..but boy do I miss it now.
DEEDEE: Fish heads? What?? I seemed to have missed that..thank goodness..lol..
Ok..I have a question..if you were a mop that I had hung on a hook in the garage and Mr Z came along and moved you for God knows what reason because he sure wasn't mopping the floor...where would you be?
Happy Monday Owls.
Tina, You know you've done a good job if this is the first time he has defied authority. All 18 year olds have to test the waters, but in my experience, if they were raised with a good foundation, their conscience usually gets the better of them. It is very hard on the parents, however. Wine helped me, but I know you don't drink. Maybe, shopping for craft supplies will help.
ps..just a word of caution..don't try to put a can of Pepsi in the fridge to get cold when your hands are wet..aluminum can hitting tile floor is not a pretty sight..ijs..
Bebbi, congrats on first, you early bird.
Lynn, Yes, this too shall pass..said many times while I was drinking my wine. Still saying it.
Hello Shirley. I hope your Mum is more comfortable today.
I hope everyone else is having a good day.
Zona, I might be in the bathroom. Mops are often needed in there. Wait, never mind. You aren't raising a bunch of boys.
Tina, hope everything is ok. I imagine your son has learned a big lesson... and he's safe.
My brother was a cause of lots of grey hair for my parents. Of course, I never did anything to cause them grief (cough cough).
Bebbi, congrats on 1st today!
Zona, I must have missed the fish head thing too, luckily.
Did you find your mop? The only think I could think is that maybe he used it to prop up something, like the car hood?
We spent the afternoon in the pool, another hot day here.
This holiday weekend sure went by fast!
Ugh. I just typed a long comment and it completely disappeared when I clicked the publish key.
I will just say hi and hope everyone had a great day!
And Tina I am glad your son is safe, and hopefully he learned a good lesson!
Oh! The mop!
I might check under the hood of the car. He may have used it to prop up the hood, then forgot to take it out when closing it.
Tina, you must have a good relationship with him if he told you about said mishap.
I am now finding out things my boys did when they were in their teens and I 'bout freaked out! I wonder if you preferred he kept quiet. I hope not. Your job is to do exactly what you did! Show your disappointment and concern. He has to understand the consequences of his actions.
There will be more, lots more from all 3.
For some reason, a few days ago I was thinking of my parents and all I put them through, which btw was not much compared to today's shit!
but I digress...
I thought of all the paths and forks in the road I could have taken had I not had the foundation my parents set for me and yes, guilt was a big part of it lol! but look at me now! Not so bad eh?
k never mind that, but hang in there Tina, you have been a wonderful parent!
If I was a mop in Arizona and left to my defenses by a man, I would be in some dark corner in the garage hiding from what ever last evidence I was used to mop up!
DeeDee: ..Didn't you realize, dear, that my first name is BEVERLY!...of course, I had an attack of the hillbillies! haha...
So sorry the fish heads were disturbing (NOT!). :) My son had a wonderful time and he was the one who took the cleave and hacked them off. His biggest thrill of the day actually. It fascinated both him and my mother the way the head/gills still flopped around after being cut off.
And remember, every time you eat a piece of fish, chicken, pork or beef..at some point they all had heads...sorry..but it's true.
omg! Bebbi is prettiest!!!
Thanks for all ur comments today...they made me smile, laugh, and want to puke~ :)~
Like always, I felt better after writing this blog.....and then I talked to the brat....at least he knows how I feel (really good crier!)...didn't change much....but dang this house is pretty clean...the fence still needs staining.....the kitchen mopping...but most of his list is done!
Zona~ the mop is in the fridge~ That's the first place I look when my Mr moves something~
Zona.. I think Nikki has it.. :O)
Tina...it is certainly worth having children and we totally need them.. There will be ups and downs, and you must approach both in the same way. You listen and you watch.. You can raise them as you want to, but when they became adults, they become into their own person.. and every person makes mistakes. The rule or lesson is everyone learns from their mistakes, so hopefully they will realize this, and learn.. I am sure its very hard to let go, you want them near always, you want them to make the decisions you would have made in a circumstance. But... all ppl handle things differently .... so you have to let them go.. and listen and watch!
They will learn they always do..
and
YAY on Grandma Janice.. even if its a surprise.. as in "Hi Mom, I am having a baby" it is still very exciting..
I fluttered around all day, dodging the outside world, cause it was so darn hot.. My car read 100F Yikes..
I decided to take a ride to IKEA closed one is in Bergen County which is about 25min from me.. OMG.. it was packed, never saw so crazy.. I was talking to some people in line as it was a very long line, so there as plenty of time to chat.. This person comes from Manhattan.. he told me that alot of people that live in NY come to this IKEA.. I had no idea.. I could not believe all the people buying furniture.. we stood in line for 45min.. When we were leaving I noticed so many cars with NY license plates..
Whew.. crazy place that IKEA is.
I am off to bed.. I have a long ass week coming up.. and I want to get up early so I can start my week on time..
Hope all had a good day..
:O)
I'm home. Tina, have faith in yourself as parents and I'm sure u r handling the situation in the right way
Off to bed
Tina I shake my head at some of the things I did as a teen. At 18, your son may be an adult according to the law, but he's still developing at maturing. He's not all grown up even if he thinks he is. And yes, it is til death do you part. Just look at me and my son who moved back in a few months ago.
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