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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

~ Guts or Balls ~

by Tina~in_ut

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.

We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: `You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome. Both result in death.

26 comments:

Tina~in_ut said...

Good Moaning~

Dianne/Denver said...

Morning---very quiet here. TINA must be playing that darn Sugarland CD again!

DeeDee said...

BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: `You're next, Chubby.'


HaaaaHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Bebbilane said...

Good day Tina and DeeDee and Dianne and...anyone else who flies in.

I am back, had a great vacation and missed everyone but am hopeful for the New Year 2011.. May it bring all of You health, wealth, happiness, peace, love and many blessings.

Just_Lin said...

Tina Thanks for the blog but I think you're confused. One of those definitions is of an "assh**e" and the other is of a "f*****g assh**e".

Just_Lin said...

Dianne LOL @ Sugarland CD!

Just_Lin said...

DeeDee It would be time to offer that guy some toast while he soaks in the tub.....ijs

Just_Lin said...

Bebbi Welcome back! Glad you enjoyed your vacation by the ocean.

Dianne/Denver said...

J/L: I had to laugh at your comment to DEEDEE about the toast in the tub. How that brings back old memories of DEEDEE and her late husband. I hope you didn't make her all sad now.

BEBBI: I am so glad you had a nice vacation and a great start to the new year.

TINA: HMMM.....guts or balls...article is right...same outcome!!! Where the heck was my afternoon Jennifer Nettles song today? Oh how I missed that nasal voice singing Uh Oh, Uh Oh.....etc.......

Today is pamper day. I just had my nails done and in an hour I am going for a massage and facial. I have some hours I have to use up at Massage Envy or lose them.

SACBARB: AREA 51....I am still have a little of the nausea but nothing like I was since Halloween. They are still sending me to doctors and tests to find the cause and yesterday I even had to have an ultra sound of my leg for a blood clot!! I am so hoping this new year brings me less visits to the doctor and dentist. Thanks for asking about me.

Dianne/Denver said...

BTW: I am excited today as John Elway (my secret and not so secret heart throb for many years) has signed on with the Denver Broncos to be the VP of football operations. He will be hiring our new coach, etc., and most importantly I will get to see him on TV more again! .........sigh

DeeDee said...

yeah...that does bring back memories....him leaving me at home while he'd be gone for 2 or 3 days at the time...gambling...then come breezing in like he'd been there the whole time...."HI HONEY I'M HOME!"

well...you're home now ya freak...

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Tina you are a wealth of information! How did any of us function before meeting you?! Thank you for clarifying the difference between guts and balls. Now I will be able to sleep tonight. Muah!

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Dianne if today is pamper day does that mean tomorrow is Depends day!!?
Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!

bonachichi said...

Hmmm. Uhhh. Oh. Guts and balls. Yes. I plead the 5th.

bonachichi said...

DeeDee, your avatar says you shit glamor. I'm betting a lot more than glamor came out of you when that damn belt cut you in half.

DeeDee said...

its all smoke and mirrors dear....but speaking of terlits...you have an interesting avatar...

Maureen said...

Good evening feathered friends!

TINA...I think they both take ballsy guts! Justifiable murder!

DeeDee said...

Shirley!

It isn't nice to poke fun at older people who have to wear protective underclothes....it will happen to you one day....you'll think you have a little gas and find out you have the whole stove!

...in your knickers!

DeeDee said...

hello Maureen!

I thought of you all when I visited the State Home for the Insane today...its an awful place...a throw-back from the 40's and 50's...but for one dollar they will let you poke the patients through the bars with a stick....

I've never mentioned it but I have an ex who resides there...

Maureen said...

I need to impose on you all to allow me to vent.

I had a terrible day at work today. This fucking bitch went off on me. Screaming at me. Vile vengeance in her voice, eyes and face. Then she even violently whipped a piece of paper out of my hand. I was stunned and shocked and scared. I was shaking and thought I was going to vomit.

I reported her to my boss, but I should have reported her to Human Resources, but I was scared. I don't want retribution and have to look over my shoulder everyday from her if she gets in trouble.

I am so not looking forward to see what happens tomorrow.

Maureen said...

DEE DEE...hello! Glad we were in your thoughts today! I feel insane at this moment!

Just_Lin said...

MO What happened to you at work is terrible. Whatever the woman's problem was, she should not have lost control of her emotions like that. Does she have a position of power over you?

DeeDee said...

Maureen....this was a co-worker!??

Maureen said...

She is a co-worker, but in another department.

Shirley(NCC-1701) said...

Maureen, TAKE THE BITCH OUT!!!!

Send her a sympathy card saying you're sorry for her loss...of control!

Take her a coffee this morning...with a few laxatives in it!

Find out which car she drives and let the air out of a tire or two!

Put a horse's head in her bed!

I hope you have a good day! (((HUGS)))

Maureen said...

SHIRLEY...those made me laugh. Thank you